Amy: Yeah, yeah, you want a cigarette. Well, I'd like a normal boyfriend. Deal with it.

Amy: Thank you, your majesties. Thank you to the Nobel Committee. We are deeply honored. I would just like to take this moment to say to all the young girls out there who dream about science as a profession: go for it. It is the greatest job in the world. And if anybody tells you you can't, don't listen. And now, speaking of not listening, my husband, Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

Raj: Hey, uh, can you pass me that drill?
Sheldon: Yeah, fun fact about Amish barn raising, they don't use any power tools.
Penny: Amy, make him stop.
Amy: No. If he tires himself out now, he'll sleep better tonight.

Bernadette: How did that get you into science?
Amy: Oh, I went to the library and took out a book on biology to see what whores did.

Amy: I'm saying, in the spirit of science, what is that little skank's problem?

Sheldon: Well, I suppose we could pick a different date.
Amy: Well, it took you nine months to choose that one. I'll pick a different husband first.

Amy: Sheldon, they're not gonna give you half a billion dollars. I mean, they won't even give me that much and I keep promising I can make people's brains "grow younger".
Penny: Can you?
Amy: (whispering) No. Shh.

Sheldon: So tell us in your own words about that magical moment when Fun with Flags was born.
Leonard: I honestly don't remember.
Sheldon: Sure you do. I was telling you both the story about how Haiti and Lichtenstein discovered they had the same flag. It was at the Summer Olympics of 1936, and two plucky nations-
Penny: Oh, wait. I remember.
Sheldon: Oh, and do you remember what you said?
Penny: Yes. "Please find someone who cares."
*cut back to Sheldon and Amy in the "studio"*
Sheldon: And that's exactly what I did. I found a lot of someones.
Amy: Almost 200. Many of them on purpose.

Amy: Uh, guys, we have a problem.
Penny: Are you okay?
Bernadette: What's wrong?
Amy: I look amazing in all of these dresses!
Bernadette: Wow. Look at your waist. Where you been hiding that thing?
Amy: (giggles) Bernadette, stop. Penny, you say something nice now.

Amy: I think it's more like, uh, like Lord of the Rings, and you're the Fellowship. Uh, someone's got to go to Gondor, someone's got to go to Mordor, someone's got to hold off the demon of shadow and flame.
Leonard: You mean the Balrog?
Amy: I mean my mother.
Sheldon: That is a perfect metaphor, Amy.
Amy: Thank you.
Sheldon: Because it also involves a ring that binds me in servitude forever.
Amy: Aw, he said forever.

Sheldon: Amy, you said something about my bow tie that I can't stop thinking about.
Amy: Don't you mean (in a Southern accent): "Y'all said something 'bout my bow tie"? Go on, say it. Say it.

Amy: You know, Sheldon, maybe if you take the time to actually read Bert's research, you'd be less bitter about him winning.
Sheldon: You want me to read a geology paper?
Amy: Honestly, I just want you to be quiet, but I'm all out of taffy.

Penny: You still worried some Berkeley girl's gonna steal him away?
Amy: Yes. Who do you think gave him the danger whistle?

Stuart: All right, I'm not saying it's true, but let's consider for a moment that possibly I'm the problem.
Penny: Yeah.
Bernadette: You are.
Amy: You can say it.

Howard: So now we have to download all these forms and fill them out.
Sheldon: We get it. Your life is great. Stop rubbing it in.
Amy: Yeah, quit it.