Amy: Why are you trying to avoid having sex?
Sheldon: Well, we just did it three weeks ago.
Amy: I was talking to Leonard!

Sheldon: Okay, what is the setback on property lines in this neighborhood?
Bernadette: Oh, I don't know.
Sheldon: It must be on the permit from when you built your deck.
Bernadette: Uh, yeah, my dad built this. We didn't do the whole permit thing.
Amy: Here we go.

Howard: So now we have to download all these forms and fill them out.
Sheldon: We get it. Your life is great. Stop rubbing it in.
Amy: Yeah, quit it.

Amy: What's wrong?
Sheldon: Why do you assume something's wrong?
Amy: Because you haven't touched your dinner, and you're literally ticking like a bomb about to go off.
Sheldon: Oh, Amy. You see through me like one of Penny's shirts.

Dr. Campbell: Well, this certainly is a thrill for us. Lunch with you two, and, uh, tomorrow, we're gonna see a taping of Ellen.
Dr. Pemberton: She's having John Stamos on. Uncle Jesse!
Amy: Sounds fun.

President Siebert: I hope you know, with these new data supporting your theory, we could be looking at a Nobel-winning achievement.
Sheldon: And by "we," you mean "we," not "we."
President Siebert: "We," "we," whatever.
Amy: Whee!

Amy: All right, on today's episode, we're gonna start with some viewer e-mails.
Sheldon: Oh, take off your glasses so people can't see your password in the reflection.
Amy: Oh, s-sure. Okay, our first e-mail is- mm- from uh, Brad or Brian? I don't know, maybe it's Seth.
Sheldon: All right, put them back on.

Bernadette: So Leonard's really considering this?
Penny: Yes. We got in a huge fight about it. He said, well, if I don't want to have his baby, then why shouldn't someone else be able to? Do you believe that? What?
Bernadette: Well, there is a deep-seated biological drive to pass on your genes. It's only natural.
Penny: So you're on his side?
Amy: Well, viewing Leonard as a mammal, it's perfectly understandable.
Bernadette: But viewing him as your husband, he stinks.
Amy: And we hate him.

Penny: And Leonard just stood there with a big, dumb smile on his face, like he was watching a puppy and a monkey make friends.
Bernadette: Well, I can see how he'd be flattered to be asked.
Penny: It's not flattering. It's creepy.
Amy: Well, something can be both flattering and creepy. You know, just the other night, Sheldon said that my feet looked like Richard Feynman's hands.

Penny: Really? So you'd be okay if someone wanted to use Sheldon as their sperm donor?
Amy: Oh, absolutely not. I am the only handmaid in this tale.

Greg: I have a bottle of champagne for you.
Bernadette: Oh, we didn't order this.
Greg: It's from the gentleman at the end of the bar.
Amy: Oh. Well, if we drink it, does that mean we're making a promise? 'Cause I am happily married, although I will watch.

Sheldon: Well, don't worry. I'm sure you're gonna do great.
Amy: Thank you. Okay, bye.
Sheldon: Wait, wait, wait. You forgot the cards.
Amy: Love you, too.

Amy: Sheldon, look at my fruit plate. It's got kiwi on it.
Sheldon: Ugh. I don't like kiwi.
Amy: Neither do I, but it's so fancy.

Amy: So, from one viewpoint, you and your father's lives are asymmetrical, but from another vantage point, they're symmetrical. Sheldon, what if symmetry and asymmetry are observer-relative? That would mean that the Russian paper was right-
Sheldon: But only from one perspective. If we look at it from a deeper view in more dimensions, our theory still stands.
Amy: Not only stands, it might be an even bigger idea than the one we were originally proposing.
Sheldon: Go get your laptop. We have a paper to fix.

Amy: Is there anything I can do?
Sheldon: Yes. You can build me a time machine so I can go back and tell my younger self to give up, because nothing's gonna work out the way he wants.
Amy: I was thinking a nice cup of leaf soup.