Amy: So, what are we watching?
Bernadette: Bob the Builder. I'll catch you up. That one's Bob. He's a builder.
Amy: Isn't this a kids show?
Bernadette: It's what we watch in this house. Bob the Builder, Dinosaur Train, and Peppa Pig, which is both funny and meaningful.

Penny: All right, I'm putting a stop to this.
Bernadette: If you knew how, why'd you wait 11 years?

Bernadette: It's cute how excited they are. You should have seen Howard sewing his costume all week for the convention.
Amy: When did Howard learn to sew?
Bernadette: When he was a little boy, every couple months, he would have to let his mom's pants out.

Bernadette: Gerald, what's going on? Hope you're not screwing up my research. You calling from a bike ride? 'Cause you're backpedaling hard.

Bernadette: Howard, we both know you can't keep up this pace. By this afternoon you're gonna be passed out on the couch and I'm gonna have three exhausted babies to deal with.

Howard: Uh, I was thinking maybe one of us should stay home full-time, with the kids.
Bernadette: Oh great, so I have to give up my job and everything I've worked for?
Howard: Actually, I was thinking I should stay home.
Bernadette: Oh, so I have to abandon my children and go back to work, while you get to stay home and bond with them?
Howard: You just said you didn't want to.
Bernadette: No, I don't want to have to, but if I want to, I should get to.
Howard: Do you want to?
Bernadette: Maybe I do.
Howard: What if I also want to?
Bernadette: Well, I don't know, we can't both stay home.
Howard: Don't you think you should go back to work, because you make more money?
Bernadette: Don't you think you should make more money?
Howard: I think it's pretty sexist of you to say a dad can't stay home with his children.
Bernadette: You know what else is sexist, the phrase "suck it", yet here we are.

Howard: Oh, good, you're here. There's (clears throat) something I want to talk to you about.
Bernadette: We're not putting a TV in the bathroom. That's how you get hemorrhoids.

Bernadette: Aren't you worried there's some kid out there missing his drone?
Raj: Oh, please. This is not a children's toy. This thing's got an HD camera on it.
Bernadette: Aren't you worried that there's some rich peeping tom out there missing his drone?

Bernadette: I'm sorry I tried to sneak the name past you.
Howard: That's okay.
Bernadette: I'm sorry I used up so many good names in college. I was really competitive with my roommate.
Howard: Forget about it. Please.

Bernadette: What about Paul?
Howard: Paul. Paul Wolowitz.
Raj: I like it. Ooh, like "Koothra-Paul-i."
Bernadette: Okay, you ruined it.

Bernadette: Okay, if it's not Michael, then what do you want to name him?
Howard: Harry, like Potter or Houdini.
Bernadette: It doesn't bother you that I have an old boyfriend named Harry?
Howard: Okay. How 'bout Al or Max or Ted or Kevin?
Bernadette: Same answer.

Howard: Bernie, this is our kid's name. I think we should both agree.
Bernadette: You're right. We both made this baby.
Howard: Thank you.
Bernadette: And I carried it, had to stay in bed for four months, sacrificed my body and my job, and soon it's gonna burst its way out of me like the Kool-Aid Man.
Howard: Exactly. Fifty-fifty.

Bernadette: What's wrong with Michael? It's my dad's name.
Howard: I don't want to name our son after your father.
Bernadette: I didn't want to say this, but he's dying.
Howard: He is?
Bernadette: Eventually. I mean, you see the way the man eats.
Howard: Okay, is this the hormones, or have you always been a lunatic?
Bernadette: I don't even know anymore.

Howard: Michael? Really, you think we're naming him Michael?
Bernadette: Not now, Howard. I'm in the middle of a game.

Howard: [entering the kitchen] I can't believe you're trying to hijack our son's name. [looking for Bernadette] Bernie?
Bernadette: This is as fast as I move! Calm down!