Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 1 of 41

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Showing quotes 1 to 15 of 613Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Quote from the episode The Comic-Con Conundrum

Howard: Dinner's almost ready. If you like meatloaf, I'm sure you'll like its cousin, bowl of meat.

Quote from the episode The Emotion Detection Automation

Raj: Maybe I'll just play the field.
Howard: Yeah, the field was just here. The field said no.

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Howard: Yeah, got to get her hooked on TV, or someday, she'll want me to play outside.

Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Howard: She would've been the best grandma.
Bernadette: She did always have candy in her pocket.
Howard: Yeah. I was 20 years old before I figured out Tootsie Rolls weren't naturally warm.

Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision

Howard: It's like we have a butler. If I had a Batsuit I'd be Bruce Wayne.
Bernadette: You have a Batsuit.
Howard: It's pajamas, there's no cape.

Quote from the episode The Fetal Kick Catalyst

Howard: Look at you. Willy Wonka would roll you to the juicing room.

Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Bernadette: Uh, I left my phone downstairs!
Howard: Damn, so did I.
Bernadette: Wait, I have my iPad.
Howard: What are you going to do, e-mail 911?

Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Howard: Well, pulling a quarter out of your ear isn't the only magic these hands can do.

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Howard: I was counting on that money. I need to make as much as my wife so I don't have to try so hard in bed.

Quote from the episode The Convergence Convergence

Raj: Howard, there must be someone at the university you can go to for help.
Howard: Are you kidding? They're probably the ones who leaked it to the military in the first place.
Raj: What about the guy on the Channel Four News? You know, Four on Your Side? Maybe he can be on your side.
Howard: I'm being harassed by the government, not trying to get to the bottom of a dog-walking scam.

Quote from the episode The Convergence Convergence

Bernadette: Come on, Howard, you're overreacting.
Howard: Am I? Am I? What do you want to bet some black ops guy is reprinting my high school yearbook and I'm no longer in it? That chess club picture is now just David Zimmerman and Elaine Cho.

Quote from the episode The Convergence Convergence

Howard: I can't believe I was so naive. The military is just gonna take over the whole project. And you know what happens if we object? We disappear. Like off the map. Like every American Idol winner since season four.

Quote from the episode The Line Substitution Solution

Bernadette: Howie? You doing okay? You've been in there a while.
Howard: (In the bathroom) I'm fine. Be right out.
Am I an American hero? Well, that's a good question, Jim. Dont you think once an astronaut leaves the planet, he's a hero to all the nations of the Earth? (Toilet flush) Okey dokey. I think I have time for one more question.

Quote from the episode The Line Substitution Solution

Sheldon: Excuse me, excuse me, can I please see a show of hands? Who here takes issue with this person cutting the line?
Guy: Told you.
Sheldon: Well, what a sad state of affairs. That you've all been so ground down by life, you don't even notice when someone disrespects you.
Howard: I can't believe we're gonna get beat up, and it's not because of your chair.

Quote from the episode The Line Substitution Solution

Leonard: When's the screening?
Raj: Uh, it's tonight, but it's first-come, first-served, so we should probably get there early and wait in line.
Howard: Let's do it.
Leonard: Penny's busy with my mother, so Im in.
Sheldon: Oh, bad news. Amy's making me go shopping with her later, so looks like none of us can go.
Leonard: You do realize were allowed to have fun without you?
Howard: In fact, that's usually the trick to it.

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