Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 1 of 41

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Quote from the episode The Comic-Con Conundrum

Howard: Dinner's almost ready. If you like meatloaf, I'm sure you'll like its cousin, bowl of meat.

Quote from the episode The Emotion Detection Automation

Raj: Maybe I'll just play the field.
Howard: Yeah, the field was just here. The field said no.

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Howard: Yeah, got to get her hooked on TV, or someday, she'll want me to play outside.

Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Howard: She would've been the best grandma.
Bernadette: She did always have candy in her pocket.
Howard: Yeah. I was 20 years old before I figured out Tootsie Rolls weren't naturally warm.

Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision

Howard: It's like we have a butler. If I had a Batsuit I'd be Bruce Wayne.
Bernadette: You have a Batsuit.
Howard: It's pajamas, there's no cape.

Quote from the episode The Fetal Kick Catalyst

Howard: Look at you. Willy Wonka would roll you to the juicing room.

Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Bernadette: Uh, I left my phone downstairs!
Howard: Damn, so did I.
Bernadette: Wait, I have my iPad.
Howard: What are you going to do, e-mail 911?

Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Howard: Well, pulling a quarter out of your ear isn't the only magic these hands can do.

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Howard: I was counting on that money. I need to make as much as my wife so I don't have to try so hard in bed.

Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction

Howard: I'm proud of you, Leonard. Working out on the North Sea for months, that's really something.
Leonard: I know. As far as science goes, this is the adventure of a lifetime.
Howard: Maybe your lifetime. I went to space.
Leonard: It's not a competition.
Howard: You're right, you're right. I'm really proud of you, and I'm gonna miss you when you're gone. And space beats water.

Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction

Howard: It was really nice of you to try to be happy for Leonard.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Howard: It must've killed you when I went to space.

Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction

Leonard: Really, you guys do not need to throw me a going-away party.
Howard: Are you kidding me? How often can you say bon voyage to somebody when they're actually going on a voyage?

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Bernadette: Is there anything else about your past I should know?
Howard: Couple things, but, you know, most of them happened overseas. I'll tell you later.

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Howard: I need to talk to Bernadette.
Penny: Well, I don't think she wants to talk to anyone right now.
Howard: All right, well, could you at least give her a message?
Penny: Yeah, sure, I guess.
Howard: Tell her I'm really sorry, and if she doesn't want to marry me, I get it. But what I really want her to know is the guy that she's disgusted by, is the guy that I'm disgusted by, too. But that guy doesn't exist any more, he's gone, and the reason is because of her. So, if this relationship is over, let her know that she made me a better man, and tell her thank you.

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Howard: Thank you for picking us up. There's a warning, right there, on the Scotch bottle. "You cannot be operatin heavy machinery after you had a snootful of this, laddie!"

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