Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 1 of 53

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Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Howard: Is it just me, or does she sound sexy when she's angry?

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Sheldon: Zandor, Wizard of the North. Ha! I win.
Howard: If you skip the part about being under a two-week quarantine because you were exposed to a deadly disease, absolutely.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Bernadette: Okay, well, wish me luck.
Howard: Dont worry, you'll be fine. Let's just hide Mr. Cross. If it touches her, it burns.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Doctor: You brought a Catholic girl home to your mother?
Howard: Yeah.
Doctor: Why don't I write you a prescription for Xanax.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Howard: What you've got to keep in mind is that ever since my dad left, I've been the whole world to my mother. I mean, she'd be threatened by any woman who can give me what she can't.
Bernadette: You mean sexual intercourse?
Howard: Well, when you say it like that you make it sound creepy.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Raj: You'd think it'd be because my parents didn't love me, but actually they loved me a great deal.
Howard: Bernie, it's not you. She's just set in her ways.
Bernadette: How can we be together if the thought of us getting married might kill your mother?
Howard: It's the circle of life, sweetie. One day our son will marry someone and it will kill you.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Doctor: Mr. Wolowitz?
Howard: Is she okay?
Doctor: It wasn't a heart attack. She's awake, she's resting comfortably. We're still running a few tests.
Howard: Can I see her?
Doctor: Actually, she said, and I quote, she'd like to see the little Catholic girl first.
Bernadette: Me? Why me?
Howard: Jews have been asking that for centuries. There's no real good answer.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Howard: What can I tell you? After I found the courage to put her pants back on, I was unstoppable.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Howard: Okay, the Eagle has landed.
Leonard: What's going on?
Howard: Bernadette and my mother are having a get-to-know-you lunch at the Old Town Deli.
Raj: Oh, that sounds lovely.
Howard: Hope so. Of course, if history is any indication, my mother will swallow her whole and spit out her bones like an owl.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Leonard: Have you met Bernadette's parents?
Howard: You mean Adolf and Eva? Not yet. One goose step at a time.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Priya: Hey, have you and Howard started planning your wedding yet?
Bernadette: Yeah. Were thinking of having it on a cliff overlooking the ocean.
Howard: Nothing soothes those pre-wedding jitters like the thought of falling and drowning.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Leonard: What did your mother say when you told her you were getting married?
Bernadette: He hasn't told her yet. He's waiting for the right time.
Howard: I was thinking of weaving it into her eulogy.

Quote from the episode The Scavenger Vortex

Howard: Have you ever played a game with Bernadette?
Amy: No.
Howard: Have you ever gone into a steel cage with a wolverine?

Quote from the episode The Closure Alternative

Howard: Keep reading. What does it say?
Raj: No, no, I don't know if I should. If she wanted me to know about her blog, she would've told me. It's almost like I'm reading her diary.
Howard: It's exactly what it's like. Keep reading.
Raj: No, this is creepy.
Howard: Oh, I think we were looking at creepy in the rear-view mirror when I put up that camera.

Quote from the episode The Psychic Vortex

Howard: Are we taking our relationship frustrations out on innocent Cylons?
Leonard: It's not just Cylons. Superman's next.
Howard: All right, I was going to try to squeeze in a little more mocking before lunch, but I can come back later when you don't have a high-powered weapon.

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