Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 2 of 41

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Quote from the episode The Financial Permeability

Leonard: OK, is everyone clear on the plan?
Howard: Yes, Koothrappali's going to wet himself, I'm gonna throw up, Sheldon's gonna run away and you're going to die. Shall we synchronize our watches?

Quote from the episode The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition

Wolowitz: Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today.
Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard.
Wolowitz: So there is a number.

Quote from the episode The Prom Equivalency

Bernadette: Why can't he take your mom? You took her to your prom.
Howard: I didn't take her. She was a chaperone.
Bernadette: I saw a picture of you two dancing together.
Howard: Well what was I gonna do? They were playing our song.

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Howard: On the potty, what are you five?
Raj: It's a potty, what do you call it?
Howard: A toilet.
Raj: That's a little vulgar for the dinner table, don't you think?
Howard: And potty is okay?
Raj: Potty is innocent. Potty is adorable.
Howard: What do you do on the potty, wee-wee?
Raj: If I don't have to boom-boom.

Quote from the episode The Bat Jar Conjecture

Wolowitz: That's more like we're a tall thin woman who wants to make a coat out of your Dalmatians.

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Nurse: What is this?
Howard: It's a robot arm.
Nurse: Where's the rest of the robot?
Howard: I only built the arm.
Nurse: Because that's all you needed, right?

Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Sheldon: Aren't you gonna come with me?
Howard: While you confront your mother about her sex life? I'd rather go back to that bar in assless chaps.

Quote from the episode The Prom Equivalency

Stuart: I'm not bringing your mother. I have a date.
Howard: Oh, so now you're cheating on my mother.

Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization

Wolowitz: If it's "creepy" to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so I can drop in on them unexpected, then fine, I'm "creepy".

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Leonard: What would you guys do if you were me?
Wolowitz: I would take Sheldon to Switzerland.
Leonard: Seriously?
Wolowitz: Absolutely. And I'd leave him there.

Quote from the episode The Killer Robot Instability

Mrs. Wolowitz: Want me to get you a popsicle?
Howard: Cherry, please!
Mrs. Wolowitz: I ate the cherry. All that's left is green.
Howard: You make me wanna kill myself!

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Wolowitz: I'm a horny engineer, Leonard. I never joke about math or sex.

Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Howard: It was an hour ago, Sheldon. A Jew sits in front of a house in Texas for that long, for sale signs start to go up.

Quote from the episode The Monopolar Expedition

Leonard: Howard, this is big science. You could be the engineer who builds the equipment that puts us on the cover of magazines.
Howard: I could also be the engineer who builds the crossbow that kills Sheldon.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Howard: Hey, you want to make sure he gets nowhere with Penny without jeopardizing your friendship with either of them?
Leonard: I'm listening.
Howard: Just tell him to do everything you've done with her for the last two years.

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