Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 2 of 49

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Quote from the episode The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition

Wolowitz: Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today.
Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard.
Wolowitz: So there is a number.

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Howard: On the potty, what are you five?
Raj: It's a potty, what do you call it?
Howard: A toilet.
Raj: That's a little vulgar for the dinner table, don't you think?
Howard: And potty is okay?
Raj: Potty is innocent. Potty is adorable.
Howard: What do you do on the potty, wee-wee?
Raj: If I don't have to boom-boom.

Quote from the episode The Prom Equivalency

Bernadette: Why can't he take your mom? You took her to your prom.
Howard: I didn't take her. She was a chaperone.
Bernadette: I saw a picture of you two dancing together.
Howard: Well what was I gonna do? They were playing our song.

Quote from the episode The Bat Jar Conjecture

Wolowitz: That's more like we're a tall thin woman who wants to make a coat out of your Dalmatians.

Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization

Wolowitz: If it's "creepy" to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so I can drop in on them unexpected, then fine, I'm "creepy".

Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Sheldon: Aren't you gonna come with me?
Howard: While you confront your mother about her sex life? I'd rather go back to that bar in assless chaps.

Quote from the episode The Prom Equivalency

Stuart: I'm not bringing your mother. I have a date.
Howard: Oh, so now you're cheating on my mother.

Quote from the episode The Killer Robot Instability

Mrs. Wolowitz: Want me to get you a popsicle?
Howard: Cherry, please!
Mrs. Wolowitz: I ate the cherry. All that's left is green.
Howard: You make me wanna kill myself!

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Wolowitz: I'm a horny engineer, Leonard. I never joke about math or sex.

Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Howard: It was an hour ago, Sheldon. A Jew sits in front of a house in Texas for that long, for sale signs start to go up.

Quote from the episode The Monopolar Expedition

Leonard: Howard, this is big science. You could be the engineer who builds the equipment that puts us on the cover of magazines.
Howard: I could also be the engineer who builds the crossbow that kills Sheldon.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Howard: Hey, you want to make sure he gets nowhere with Penny without jeopardizing your friendship with either of them?
Leonard: I'm listening.
Howard: Just tell him to do everything you've done with her for the last two years.

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Leonard: What would you guys do if you were me?
Wolowitz: I would take Sheldon to Switzerland.
Leonard: Seriously?
Wolowitz: Absolutely. And I'd leave him there.

Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Howard: Sheldon, you remember the first few weeks we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything, and you were acting like an obnoxious, giant dictator?
Raj: I thought we were going to be gentle with him.
Howard: That's why I added the '-tator'.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Howard: Wait till you see this.
Raj: It's fantastic. Unbelievable!
Leonard: See what?
Howard: (Putting in DVD) It's a Stephen Hawking lecture from MIT in 1974.
Leonard: This isn't a good time.
Howard: (Imitating Stephen Hawking) It's before he became a creepy computer voice.

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