Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 2 of 42

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Quote from the episode The Financial Permeability

Leonard: OK, is everyone clear on the plan?
Howard: Yes, Koothrappali's going to wet himself, I'm gonna throw up, Sheldon's gonna run away and you're going to die. Shall we synchronize our watches?

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Sheldon: Camouflaging bald spots. That's primarily a male concern. Perhaps we could expand our market.
Penny: How are flower barrettes going to appeal to men?
Wolowitz: We add Bluetooth.

Quote from the episode The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition

Wolowitz: Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today.
Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard.
Wolowitz: So there is a number.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Wolowitz: I'm a horny engineer, Leonard. I never joke about math or sex.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Wolowitz: Raj, there's no place for truth on the Internet.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Raj: What do you say, Howard?
Howard: I say Vegas baby!
Raj: What are you gonna tell your mother?
Howard: Sea World baby!

Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Howard: Sheldon, you remember the first few weeks we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything, and you were acting like an obnoxious, giant dictator?
Raj: I thought we were going to be gentle with him.
Howard: That's why I added the '-tator'.

Quote from the episode The Monopolar Expedition

Leonard: Howard, this is big science. You could be the engineer who builds the equipment that puts us on the cover of magazines.
Howard: I could also be the engineer who builds the crossbow that kills Sheldon.

Quote from the episode The Monopolar Expedition

Raj: Is this just so we won't touch your stuff while you're away?
Sheldon: I'll admit that was a concern, but the fact is I'll need a support team, and the three of you are my first choice.
Howard: Really?
Sheldon: Well, there are others who might be more qualified, but the thought of interviewing them gave me a stomach ache.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Howard: Hey, you want to make sure he gets nowhere with Penny without jeopardizing your friendship with either of them?
Leonard: I'm listening.
Howard: Just tell him to do everything you've done with her for the last two years.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Wolowitz: They're called tattoo sleeves. Put them on, have freaky sex with some freaky girl with her business pierced, take them off, and I can still be buried in a Jewish cemetery.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Wolowitz: Yes, she's pushy, and yes, he's whipped - but that's not the expression.

Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization

Wolowitz: If it's "creepy" to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so I can drop in on them unexpected, then fine, I'm "creepy".

Quote from the episode The Maternal Capacitance

Mrs. Hofstadter: It might explain why the two of you have created an ersatz homosexual marriage to satisfy your need for intimacy.
Howard: Say what?

Quote from the episode The Monopolar Expedition

Howard: Easy. Instead of saying; 'No we don't wanna go on an NSF expedition,' say; 'No we don't wanna spend three months stuck in a cabin in the Arctic Circle with an anal nutbag!'

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