Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 38 of 41

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Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Sheldon: Of course, but before we set up a marketing and distribution infrastructure, we should finish optimizing the manufacturing process. To start with, she has a terrible problem with moisture-induced glitter clump.
Penny: Yeah, it's a bitch.
Howard: Uh, I've seen this before.
Leonard: Where?
Howard: It's a common stripper problem. They dance, they sweat, they clump.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Sheldon: Okay, that, right there, that equivocation and self-doubt, that is not the American spirit. Did Davy Crockett quit at the Alamo? Did Jim Bowie?
Howard: They didn't quit. They were massacred by, like, a gazillion angry Mexicans.

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Howard: Hey Mike?
Mike Massimino: Yeah.
Howard: I changed my mind. I don't want to do this.
Mike: Good one.
Howard: Yeah, I'm a funny guy. I also have a hysterical bit planned for later where I pretend to cry through the whole launch.

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Mike: Hey, Froot Loops, want to hit your fan switch?
Howard: Check.
Dimitri: He calls you Froot Loops because of your very gay haircut?
Howard: No, it's 'cause I live with my mom and she makes me Froot Loops.
Dimitri: Go with gay story, people are more accepting of that.

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Howard: Close your eyes. Put out your hand. I got you something special.
Bernadette: Come on, Howard. I'm not falling for that again.
Howard: No, here.
Bernadette: Oh, Howie. A little star, it's beautiful. Put it on me.
Howard: Okay, but I'm going to have to get it back from you so I can take it to the International Space Station. That way, when I come home, you will have a star that was actually in space.
Bernadette: Oh, my God.
Howard: Take that, every guy who's ever bought you anything.
Bernadette: This is the most amazing gift I've ever gotten.
Howard: Really? Well, if you like it that much, then close your eyes and put out your hand.

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Registrar: Folks, can I have your attention. It's five o'clock, we're going to be able to take three more couples. The rest of you will have to come back on Monday.
Bernadette: Oh, no.
Howard: I got this. Excuse me, but is there any way you could squeeze us in? See, I'm an astronaut and I'm leaving for Russia on Sunday so I can take a Soyuz rocket to the International Space Station.
Registrar: Yeah, me, too. I'll see you there.

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Howard: There's fuel leaking and we're still going to go?
Mike: Don't lose your Froot Loops, Froot Loops.
Dimitri: This happens a lot. Nine times out of ten, no problem.
Howard: What happens on the tenth time?
Dimitri: Problem.

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Howard: Bernie, I have to go pick up my mother. I'll be right back.
Bernadette: Why can't she drive herself?
Howard: She doesn't want to sit in her dress and wrinkle it so I'm going to lay her down in the back of my neighbor's van.

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Howard: Ma, you want to move your chair over here so you can see?
Mrs. Wolowitz: I'm fine where I am. I don't want to fall off the roof.
Howard: You'll fall through the roof before you fall off it.

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Bernadette: Howard Joel Wolowitz, like you, this is going to be short and sweet. I love you with all my heart and soul and promise to be with you forever.
Howard: Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski...
Mrs. Wolowitz: Speak up!
Howard: Hey, from now on, she's the only women who can yell at me!

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Mike: That's ignition. I love this part.
Dimitri: Me, too.
Howard: I have strongly mixed feelings.

Quote from the episode The Hawking Excitation

Howard: So, I got the craziest e-mail this morning.
Raj: I don't mean to burst your bubble, dude, but those penile enlargement pills do not work.
Howard: Believe me, I know.

Quote from the episode The Hawking Excitation

Howard: The e-mail I got was from the office of Stephen Hawking.
Leonard: You're kidding.
Raj: Why?
Howard: He's coming to the university for a couple weeks to lecture, and he's looking for an engineer to help maintain the equipment on his wheelchair.
Leonard: That's amazing. You'll be like his pit crew. A word of caution, I would not do your Stephen Hawking impression in front of him.
Howard: (imitating Stephen Hawking) You're right. I suppose that could be considered offensive.

Quote from the episode The Hawking Excitation

Howard: I'll give your paper to Professor Hawking.
Sheldon: Great, thank you. Oh, that's terrific.
Howard: But in exchange, I'd like you to do a few things for me.
Sheldon: What kinds of things?
Howard: Are you familiar with the 12 labors of Hercules?
Sheldon: Of course.
Howard: You should be so lucky.

Quote from the episode The Hawking Excitation

Howard: Here is a black light to check them. And for your own peace of mind, you might not want to shine that around the rest of the room.

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