Howard: Your entire job is to find lost luggage and you've narrowed down the location of my mother to the planet Earth?

Howard: Why don't you just clean out the whole room? Take the string-art clown I made her in third grade. And the ribbon I got in swim class for putting my face in the water.

Stuart: Some son! Looks like you spent ten minutes on that clown art.
Howard: Well, maybe I should have gone to a fancy art school like you, then I could run a failed comic shop and mooch off some guy's mother.

Bernadette: It's just furniture.
Howard: It's my mom's furniture. It belongs in the house I grew up in, next to that pile of TV Guides and in full view of what, for a ten-year-old, was a quality piece of string-art!

Sheldon: He wrote back! "Cooper and Hofstadter resorting to juvenile attempts at humor is proof they have nothing to back up their ridiculous paper. It should come as no surprise given they work at Cal-Tech, essentially a technical school where even the physicists are basically engineers".
Oh, engineers. Do you know how insulting that is?
Howard: Yes.

Raj: All the other comments said really nice things. Focus on those.
Howard: Yeah. Dr. Dimitri Plankovic of Moscow University said "This paper great. I love it more than vodka."
Raj: See, better with the accent.

Howard: Okay, so it's one vote Emily, one vote Cinnamon. Penny, you're the tie breaker.
Penny: Say the quote again.
Howard: "It's just so perfect that we're both Libras."
Penny: Wow, this is just so hard. I'm gonna say Cinnamon.
Howard: Yes!
Raj: Come on!

Sheldon: I'd like to ask you all to do something for me. Keep me on my toes. Just throw me off my game. Essentially, go out of your way to make my life miserable.
Howard: Hold on. What's in it for us?
Sheldon: Well, I suppose-
Howard: Okay, we'll do it!

Howard: Okay, who was he talking to Emily or Cinnamon? "I want you to know the bed feels so lonely when you're not in it"?
Raj: Yeah, I might not be liking this game so much.
Leonard: Cinnamon. Give me another one.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Howard: I'm surprised to see you suddenly get religious.
Raj: Why?
Howard: Because I've known you for ten years, and you've never gone to temple. You've never talked about believing in God. And last Diwali, I watched you eat two pounds of sacred cow at a Brazilian steak house.

Howard: As a scientist you believe the way to understand the universe is through facts and evidence. And now you're counting on some blue chick with a hundred arms to help you?
Raj: That is so offensive. Does everything you know about Hinduism come from Indiana Jones?
Howard: No, there's also Apu from The Simpsons.

Raj: Before you finish, is this a story about patience or waiting, or just another reminder that you went to space?
Howard: A story can do two things.

Leonard: Do you know what a disaster this is?
Howard: You mean because this room isn't supposed to have dust in it, and we just let in a flying crap machine.

Howard: I guess the sad truth is not everyone will accomplish something great. Some of us may just have to find meaning in the little moments that make up life.
Leonard: That's a nice way of looking at it.
Howard: Yeah, for you, not for me. I went to space, so I'm covered.