Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 4 of 49

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Quote from the episode The Pork Chop Indeterminacy

Howard: Well, she's free to examine my briefs.
Leonard: Howard!
Howard: I know! I'm disgusting. I should be punished. By her. Oh, look I did it again.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Priya: Indian parents are very protective of their children.
Howard: Right. Whereas Jewish mothers take a casual la-di-da approach to their sons.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Capacitance

Mrs. Hofstadter: It might explain why the two of you have created an ersatz homosexual marriage to satisfy your need for intimacy.
Howard: Say what?

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Wolowitz: Raj, there's no place for truth on the Internet.

Quote from the episode The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary

Wolowitz: Puppies, how do you stand on puppies?
Bernadette: A puppy once bit my face!
Wolowitz: Of course it did.

Quote from the episode The Pants Alternative

Sheldon: I see. I assume since the rest of you have set the bar so low, you're saving the most impressive contribution for last. Go on Howard, dazzle me.
Howard: Well, my power is the ability to pretend like I give a damn about your piddly-ass problem. And that's 24/7 buddy.

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Wolowitz: Winnie-the-Pooh is out of the honey tree.

Quote from the episode The Pulled Groin Extrapolation

Bernadette: Good Morning, handsome.
Howard: Good morning, mom.
Bernadette: It's me!

Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity

Howard: Don't be oversensitive. He's calling you illiterate, not your race.
Raj: Oh, okay. Good.

Quote from the episode The 21-Second Excitation

Penny: Okay, help me out here. How does an archaeology professor get that good with a whip?
Howard: Maybe he took a class at the adult bookstore. That's how I learned.

Quote from the episode The Closet Reconfiguration

Bernadette: You can't just throw everything in the closet.
Howard: Hey, you can tell me what to do and how to do it, but not both at the same time. This isn't sex.

Quote from the episode The Gorilla Dissolution

Bernadette: After two days of taking care of her, excuse me for stopping to get a mocha?
Howard: A mocha?! Well, it must be nice to be Queen.

Quote from the episode The Prom Equivalency

Bernadette: Howard, get off of him.
Howard: Not until he stops humping his way up my family tree.

Quote from the episode The Mystery Date Observation

Howard: If you don't want to use dating Web sites, what do you suggest?
Sheldon: Off the top of my head? Prospective women weed themselves out in a battle of wits until only one champion remains, she shows up at my door flush with the thrill of victory, and then sits quietly by my side while I watch Daredevil.
Howard: You seriously think women would fight for you?
Sheldon: People compete for jobs and trophies, why not me?
Howard: He's right. He knows a lot of jokes.

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard it's the phone!
Howard: I know it's the phone ma! I hear the phone!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Who is calling at this ungodly hour?
Howard: I don't know!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Well ask them why are they calling at this ungodly hour!
Howard: How can I ask them when I'm talking to you?

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