Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 40 of 42

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Quote from the episode The Love Spell Potential

Sheldon: I've got a brand-new seven piece set of polyhedral dice. Hello, new dice smell.
Leonard: I've got my helm of lordly might, my boots of speed, and if things get too exciting, my inhaler of asthma.
Raj: I got my new bloodthirsty savage warrior who will lay waste to all who stand before him. And I had a sensible salad for lunch, so I can eat all the pizza I want.
Howard: Come on, are we gonna sit around chatting like a bunch of teenage girls, or are we gonna play D&D like a bunch of teenage boys who are never gonna have sex with those teenage girls?

Quote from the episode The Love Spell Potential

Howard: A satanic fungus that looks suspiciously like Al Pacino rises from the forest floor and says, (Imitating Al Pacino) "You're playing D&D. You're playing D&D. This whole apartment is playing D&D."

Quote from the episode The Bozeman Reaction

Leonard: You know what? Let's just get a pizza.
Sheldon: Good idea. We'll go to Corleone's.
Howard: Sure, no mobsters there.

Quote from the episode The Bozeman Reaction

Howard: Now, inside, we've got motion detectors, infrared sensors, and cameras connected to a server running state-of-the-art facial recognition software.
Leonard: Where did you get all this stuff?
Howard: I got a buddy over at the Department of Defense.
Leonard: He just gave it to you?
Howard: I'm sure he would have if I had asked. Ironically, their security isn't all that good.

Quote from the episode The Bozeman Reaction

Howard: Oh, come on. So you were the victim of a crime. That's part of life. When my great-grandfather first came to this country, he put all his hopes and dreams into this little butcher shop he ran on the Lower East Side of New York. You know what happened? Every customer who walked into that butcher shop and asked for a pound of liver, got ripped off. But, those people moved on, and so should you.

Quote from the episode The Spoiler Alert Segmentation

Raj: Dude, I'm a single man. Saturday night is my party night.
Howard: Really? What do you got going on?
Raj: I don't know. Maybe drive down to Hollywood, hit a few hot spots, see if I can get lucky.
Howard: Yeah, tell me if this sounds familiar. You pay fifteen dollars to park, you stand on the pavement for an hour until you break down and give the bouncer twenty bucks to let you in. You push your way to the bar, where you drink an eighteen dollar cosmopolitan, then you stare at a pretty girl and imagine your perfect life together. Your children, grandchildren. Meanwhile, she leaves with a guy who claims he wrote Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Then you give up on anyone ever loving you, go to Marie Callenders, buy a pie and eat it in your car in the parking lot.
Raj:What time should I be at your mother's?
Howard: I told her around seven.

Quote from the episode The Spoiler Alert Segmentation

Howard: You're still at my mother's?
Raj: I'm trapped. My clothes have been in the laundry all day, and she hid my keys. I think they might be in her bra, because she jingles when she walks. What do I do?
Howard: Hey, you wanted a woman in your life. Now you got one.

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Penny: I can't believe you let him kick me out of the car.
Howard: What could we do? He's the Travel Supervisor.

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Howard: Hey, Bernie?
Bernadette: Yeah?
Howard: Please tell me he's your gay cousin.
Bernadette: No. He was one of my professors in college.
Howard: Oh! That's a relief.
Bernadette: Then we went out for a year.

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Howard: That green bag is Dr. Cooper's. Here's an extra five. Make him wait.

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Howard: I'm just thinking. If you had sex with that guy, I mean, there's nothing I can do here that will make any kind of ... impact.

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Howard: I just never figured that a guy like me going out with a girl like you would ever have to compete with a guy like that.
Bernadette: Wait a minute, "a girl like me"? What's that mean?
Howard: I'm-I'm--
Bernadette: Are you saying you don't think I'm hot enough to go out with a guy like Glenn?
Howard: No! No, I'm saying exactly the opposite.
Bernadette: I'm too hot to go out with a guy like Glenn?
Howard: Yeah, let's go with that.

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Raj: I've been doing some research on strippers. One agency I spoke to, said I could get us a great price if we're flexible on age range and number of limbs.
Howard: Sounds like loads of fun, but I promised Bernadette no strippers.
Raj: You don't want strippers? You're the king of strippers. The one club in North Hollywood named a pole after you.
Howard: What can I tell ya, I'm not into that stuff any more.

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Leonard: Good for you, Howard. I'm proud of you. And still, you're the first one of us to get married. We have to do something special.
Sheldon: You know Germans have an interesting pre-wedding custom.
Howard: Well, it's probably not for me.

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Raj: The only threesome I've ever had in my life, and I'm proud to say it was with this man right here.
Howard: Oh, please shut up.

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