Leonard QuotesPage 1 of 22
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Quote from the episode The Graduation Transmission
Leonard: So, for the remainder of my speech, this is for the invisible kids. Maybe you never fit in. Or maybe you were the smallest kid in the school. Or the heaviest. Or the weirdest. Maybe you're graduating and you still haven't even had your first kiss. By the way, nineteen, and Geraldine Coco, wherever you are, thank you. Maybe you don't have any friends, and guess what, that's okay. While all the popular kids are off doing whatever - I don't know what they're doing because I was never there.
Quote from the episode The Graduation Transmission
Leonard: My point is, while you're spending all this time on your own. Building computers or practising your cello, what you're really doing is becoming interesting. When people finally do notice you, they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought. And for those of you that were popular in high school, it's over, sorry. Thank you. Congratulations.
Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation
Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Leonard: There you go.
Quote from the episode The Table Polarization
Sheldon: I've changed. Like the frog who's put in a pot of water that's heated so gradually, he doesn't realize he's boiling to death.
Penny: Or you're the frog who's been kissed by the princess and turned into a prince.
Leonard: Or you're just a tall, annoying frog.
Quote from the episode The Champagne Reflection
Leonard: You know what, this bottle was meant to celebrate an achievement. Let's make a pact. When one of us gets their first big breakthrough, we'll celebrate by opening this bottle and toasting Professor Abbott.
Howard: I love that.
Raj: Me too.
Leonard: Then, of course, rubbing our success in Sheldon's face.
Howard: Well that's the best part.
Quote from the episode The Toast Derivation
Sheldon:He'll be back.
Leonard: (Through the door) Of course, I'll be back, I live here!
Quote from the episode The Griffin Equivalency
Leonard: We're here to cheer up Koothrappali, not kill Batman.
Quote from the episode The Comic Book Store Regeneration
Leonard: To Mrs. Wolowitz. A loving mother. To all of us. We'll miss you.
Quote from the episode The Proton Displacement
Professor Proton: Can I ask you a question?
Leonard: Yeah, sure.
Professor Proton: Why do you put up with Sheldon?
Leonard: Oh, you know because we're friends.
Professor Proton: Why?
Leonard: Wow, you ask really hard questions. Look, I know he can be aggravating, but what you have to remember is he's not doing it on purpose, it's just how he is. But he's also loyal and trustworthy and we have fun together.
Professor Proton: You know you're describing a dog?
Leonard: He did bite me once. But in his defense, I came up behind him while he was eating.
Professor Proton: They hate that.
Leonard: Sheldon is the smartest person I have met. He's a little broken and he needs me. And I guess I need him too.
Professor Proton: Why is that?
Leonard: Boy, you will not let this go, will you?
Quote from the episode The Romance Resonance
Leonard: People get things they don't deserve all the time. Like me with you.
Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation
Leonard: Sometimes your movements are so lifelike I forget you are not a real boy.
Quote from the episode The Gorilla Experiment
Bernadette: Come here, tushie face.
Leonard: Tushie face! That is going on twitter right now.
Quote from the episode The White Asparagus Triangulation
Sheldon: *knock knock knock* Leonard? (x3)
Leonard: What Sheldon! What Sheldon! What Sheldon!
Sheldon: Tell me what you see here.
Leonard: The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial?
Quote from the episode The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification
Sheldon: At my age do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?
Leonard: At the hands of your room mate?
Sheldon: An accident.
Leonard: That's how I'm going to make it look.
Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization
Leonard: Penny, you don't want to get into it with Sheldon. The guy's one lab accident away from being a super villain.
Quote from the episode The Prom Equivalency
Penny: Well you wouldn't have asked me either.
Leonard: I would have asked you. In my head. On the way home. While I was having a good cry.
Quote from the episode The Fortification Implementation
Wil Wheaton: You know that the movie actually has a little bit of a cult following.
Wil Wheaton: Yeah. I was at a science-fiction convention, and I saw a woman dressed as your half-ape character.
Leonard: Oh, if she was with an Indian guy dressed like a banana, that was just my friends, Howard and Raj.
Quote from the episode The Einstein Approximation
Leonard: Penny, I told you if you don't put him in his crate at night, he just runs around the apartment.
Quote from the episode The Hamburger Postulate
Leonard: If Penny didn't know that Leslie had already turned me down then that would unambiguously mean that she, Penny, thought I should ask her, Leslie, out, indicating that she, Penny, had no interest in me asking her, Penny, out but because she did know that I had asked Leslie out and that she, Leslie, had turned me down then she, Penny, could be offering me consolation. "That's too bad, you would have made a cute couple" but while thinking "good, Leonard remains available."
Sheldon: You're a lucky man Leonard.
Leonard: How so?
Sheldon: You're talking to one of three men in the western hemisphere capable of following that train of thought.
Leonard: Well, what do you think?
Sheldon: I said I could follow it, I didn't say I cared.