Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 1 of 62

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Quote from the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Leonard: Hey, what you reading?
Penny: A parenting book.
Leonard: Oh, my God. Are-are we?
Penny: Wha-- No! You think this is how I would tell you?
Leonard: Well (stammering) ... you're sitting there with a book. It felt like anything was possible.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Leonard: That's amazing.
Penny: I know. But, you know, it's only birth to five. What do we do when he turns six?
Leonard: Take him to the zoo and leave him there.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Contamination

Penny: Now, why don't you go wash up, and we'll call you when dinner's ready.
Sheldon: Okay. (Sheldon leaves)
Leonard: (surprised) What did you do? Are you a witch?

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Leonard: So, Penny's your favorite?
Beverly Hofstadter: I suppose she is. You married well, Leonard, and for that I am proud of you.
Leonard: I don't- I don't- I don't know what to say.
Beverly Hofstadter: I'm also proud of how hard you're trying not to cry.
Leonard: (choking up) Thank you.
Beverly Hofstadter: Would you like to hang up now?
Leonard: Yeah, here it comes.

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Leonard: Penny doesn't know how manipulative my mother can be. Did you know there's such a thing as reverse, reverse, reverse psychology? Because there is.

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Leonard: Oh, really? Is she FaceTiming with you right now? Because she's FaceTiming with my mom, and believe me, that is not a face you want to spend time with.

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Penny: Do you not want me to be friends with your mom?
Leonard: Well, let's be clear. I-I married you to hurt her. You're kind of ruining it.

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Penny: You know, she's been opening up about her life, and she's actually been really supportive about mine.
Leonard: Really?
Penny: Yeah. I've been telling her about my job, and she said she was proud of me.
Leonard: Well, that's great. Never told me she was proud of me. Even when I stayed dry for a whole month.

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Penny: No, I think she's lonely. She's been reaching out.
Leonard: Okay, just be careful. You think you're getting close to her, and the next thing you know, you're featured in a book called He's Doing It On Purpose: Raising a Teenage Bed-Wetter.

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Penny: Leonard, did you really just text me from the couch to put extra mustard on your sandwich?
Leonard: I was worried you might not check your e-mail.

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Penny: Hey, where are you going?
Leonard: Back to the dry cleaner. Look at this. They didn't get the stain out of my Starfleet uniform.
Penny: Well, if you didn't make me wear the green body paint in bed, you wouldn't have to get it dry-cleaned so much.
Leonard: Nah, it's worth it.

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Leonard: My mother's texting you?
Penny: Yeah. We've been talking a lot lately.
Leonard: Why? She sick of talking to the magic mirror on the wall?

Quote from the episode The Relaxation Integration

Stuart: Okay, how about we flip a coin?
Leonard: Look, hang on. Doesn't this girl get a word in all of this? And isn't that word "no"?

Quote from the episode The Relaxation Integration

Leonard: If you want me to object at your wedding, just give me one of these. (taps on his nose)

Quote from the episode The Relaxation Integration

Amy: Well, as much as we've studied the brain, there's still a lot we don't know about dreams and their function. You know, even psychologists are divided on it.
Leonard: Mm, it's true. Freud thought dreams were about sex, Adler thought they were about dominance Penny: Then again, mine are just about being married to this little guy.
Leonard: Well, now it's just edging into mockery.

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