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Quote from the episode The Friendship Turbulence

Penny: I don't know what to say.
Leonard: Don't say anything. ... I mean you could say thank you, I did just buy you a car.

3.6

Quote from the episode The First Pitch Insufficiency

Sheldon: It's like when I thought there was possum in my closet. Did I sit around wondering? No, I sent Leonard in with a point stick and a bag.
Leonard: I killed his chewbacca slippers.

3.6

Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm

Penny: It's just this is only our first date.
Leonard: Well, why don't we just figure out where we're going, and when we want to get there, and then rate of speed equals distance over time, solve for 'r'.
Penny: Or we could just wing it.

3.6

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Sheldon: (Knocking) Leonard? Leonard? Leonard?
Leonard: Let it go, Sheldon. The murderer was the first mate whether it made sense to you or not.

3.5

Quote from the episode The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis

Leonard: Okay, I have just one question for you. While I am perfectly happy with the way things are between us, you said that you didn't wanna go out with me because I was too smart for you. Well, news flash, lady: David Underhill is 10 times smarter than me. You'd have to drive a railroad spike into his head for me to beat him at checkers. Next to him, I'm one of those sign-language gorillas who knows how to ask for grapes. So my question is what's up with that?
Penny: (tearfully) Why are you yelling at me?
Leonard: Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Never mind, we're cool.

3.5

Quote from the episode The Recombination Hypothesis

Leonard: Penny and Leonard 2.0. We can test it internally, shake out the bugs, and if we both think it is solid, we roll it out to the public.

3.5

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Doug: What's up, bro?
Leonard: Uh, nothing much... Bro!

3.5

Quote from the episode The Vartabedian Conundrum

Howard: New pants?
Leonard: Yeah, Stephanie got them for me.
Howard: Nice. Cotton?
Leonard: Actually, I think it's more of a wool-fire ant blend.

3.5

Quote from the episode The Anxiety Optimization

Howard: Okay, "Check it out. I got us matching sweaters."
Leonard: We all got the Christmas card. Cinnamon.

3.5

Quote from the episode The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis

Penny: (To David) Usually the physicists I know are indoors-y and pale.
Leonard: I'm not indoors-y. I just wear the appropriate sun block because I don't take melanoma lightly.

3.5

Quote from the episode The Tangible Affection Proof

Leonard: I'm cool with surprises, but nothing on the Jumbotron. I don't want to cry on the big screen like that.

3.5

Quote from the episode The Convention Conundrum

Raj: Does he sound like a criminal?
Howard: What do you mean?
Raj: You know, did he say things like "youse guys" or "listen here, say".
Leonard: Yes, he's late because he's on his way here from 1940.

3.5

Quote from the episode The Indecision Amalgamation

Leonard: That was Wil. He's feeling a lot better. Apparently he's twelve down in the TV Guide crossword puzzle.

3.5

Quote from the episode The Anything Can Happen Recurrence

Leonard: You know what, why don't we just ease into this? Let's go for a walk and see if we find a new restaurant.
Sheldon: Any chance this restaurant is near Griffith Park? *Brings out a Lord of the Rings - Gandalf hat*
Leonard: No.

3.5

Quote from the episode The Gorilla Dissolution

Leonard: What about when you did Anne Frank at that cute little theater?
Penny: It was above a bowling alley.
Leonard: Yeah, but there was ample parking.

3.5

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Sheldon: [President Siebert said] that everybody has to do things they don't want to do. He then gave an example of something he had to do although he didn't want to. And that was look at my stupid face.
Leonard: That's a rude thing to say ... out loud.

3.5

Quote from the episode The Locomotion Interruption

Penny: Hi, wanna do yoga with me?
Leonard: Let me just have some coffee first and then I'll have the strength to tell you how much I won't be doing that.

3.5

Quote from the episode The Anxiety Optimization

Raj: You know a man can care deeply about a woman and a pet. It's not strange.
Leonard: Ooh, Emily. I heard him say that to Emily.

3.5

Quote from the episode The Anxiety Optimization

Raj: You know what, I think it's a little weird that you remember me saying all these things. Maybe the truth is you're jealous of all my relationships.
Howard: Oh. Maybe I am. Who wouldn't want to the girl - or possibly dog - to hear the words "You're so lucky. You have the shiniest hair."
Leonard: That is a tough one. I know he brushes both of them.

3.5

Quote from the episode The Anxiety Optimization

Leonard: I know he can be a lot of trouble, but when I see him laying here asleep like this, I just think, how easy it would be to hold a pillow over his face.

3.5

Quote from the episode The Hesitation Ramification

Leonard: I'm so proud of you.
Penny: They haven't even got to my scene yet.
Leonard: I know, but you're going to be a TV star and you haven't left me yet. That takes guts!

3.4

Quote from the episode The Hesitation Ramification

Leonard: (on the phone) Yes, how much for 100 long-stem red roses? Really? How much for three?

3.4

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem

Leonard: Sheldon, we both agreed to do this.
Sheldon: It's a waste of time. I might as well explain thermodynamics to a bunch of Labradoodles.
Leonard: If you don't do this, I won't take you to the comic book store.

3.4

Quote from the episode The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis

Leonard: Here's my home number, here's my cell, here's my office, here's my parents' number up in New Jersey, they always know how to reach me.

3.3

Quote from the episode The Tenure Turbulence

Leonard: (To Penny) Way to hit 'em with both barrels.

3.3

Quote from the episode The Cooper/Kripke Inversion

Leonard: Maybe it's a shipping problem.
Howard: What?
Leonard: Maybe Wesley Snipes and Toucan Sam just got action figures that look like you guys.

3.3

Quote from the episode The Proton Transmogrification

Leonard: The funeral's on Sunday.
Sheldon: But that's Star Wars day.
Leonard: Yeah. Off all the things about this that are sad, that might not be number one.

3.3

Quote from the episode The Troll Manifestation

Leonard: "Upon review, I've changed my mind about the Cooper-Hofstadter hypothesis that space-time is like a super-fluid. In fact, it's inspired me to come up with my own theory. Maybe space-time is like two clowns with their heads in a bucket. Much like Cooper and Hofstadter."

3.3

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Leonard: Yeah, that would be a little more like getting into dracula's coffin.

3.3

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem

Leonard: That's it, no more Thai food.

3.3

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