Leonard: Did you get to the chapter where she staged the Easter Egg Hunt with no eggs to see how long I'd keep looking? The answer, by the way, June.

Howard: Last time I was here, I was a scrawny little nerd.
Leonard: And now you're also an astronaut.

Leonard: I haven't seen him this stuck since he tried to figure out the third Matrix movie.

Georgie: After all my sacrifices, guess which kid my mom is the most proud of?
Leonard: If it makes you feel any better, my mom's most proud of Sheldon, too.

Wil Wheaton: See, that's what I mean. When you wake up in the morning, whether this is the greatest movie ever or a total piece of crap, your life isn't going to change at all.
Howard: He's right.
Leonard: Yeah. No matter what happens, we're coming back tomorrow to watch it again.

Leonard: We're always the good guys. In D&D, we're lawful good. In City of Heroes, we're the heroes. In Grand Theft Auto, we pay the prostitutes promptly and never hit them with a bat.
Sheldon: Those women are prostitutes? You said they were raising money for stem cell research.

Sheldon: We have seven people and two cars. In the lead car, driven by Leonard, will be myself, Amy Farrah Fowler and Penny.
Amy: Yes! He had you in the other car, but I got you upgraded.
Penny: Yay.
Sheldon: She made the case that if we break down in the middle of nowhere, your Nebraska backwoods skills and brawny hands will give us the best chance to survive in the wild.
Penny: Brawny?
Leonard: They're bigger than mine.

Sheldon: I was not panicked, and I am not overly attached to Leonard.
Leonard: You were so worried that you smashed your face trying to check on me. You looove me.

Howard: Why would the military want Sheldon?
Leonard: I don't know. Target practice?

Leonard: It's a pep talk he made when he was a kid. He gave it to me years ago and told me to save it for a real emergency.
Penny: What? You didn't break it out when he declared his room a sovereign nation and waged a trade war against us?
Leonard: His major export is talking. I didn't want that anyway.

Leonard: Superman's gone. My stormtrooper's gone.
Sheldon: Your Klingon word-of-the-day calendar's gone.
Leonard: I'd say "damn it" in Klingon, but that wasn't until next month.
Sheldon: It's "khoo-vakh".
Leonard: Khoo-vakh!

Leonard: Where have you been?
Sheldon: Oh, Leonard, if I was prone to sarcasm I'd say I was pulling off a major heist at the museum of laundry baskets.
Leonard: (Counts to 10 and takes a breath) What I meant was, gee Sheldon! You were gone a long time!

Penny: What?
Leonard: He said we should maybe enter you in the killer robot competition.

Sheldon: Hey, isn't that Professor Proton?
Leonard: Oh, yeah.
Sheldon: Look at him just standing in line, like he wasn't moderately famous thirty years ago.
Sheldon: Let's go say hello.
Leonard: Oh, maybe we shouldn't bother him.
Sheldon: I'm not going to bother him. I'm going to talk to him.
Leonard: He thinks there's a difference.

Leonard: What are you afraid of?
Penny: Well, what if we do go out and I do something stupid and dump you again.
Leonard: What if I dump you?
Penny: [Scoffs] Come on, be serious.