Sheldon: See, sometimes I wish I could invent a time machine, so I could go back and prevent myself from acting so rashly.
Leonard: Or moving forward, you could think before you speak.
Sheldon: I suppose so.
Leonard: But the time machine thing is probably more likely.

Leonard: You want to tell me what's going on?
Sheldon: Is my distress that obvious?
Leonard: Sheldon, please don't take this the wrong way, but when you're quiet even for a second, something's wrong.

Penny: Someone texting you?
Leonard: Uh, no, I just met my exercise goal for the day.
Penny: By doing the dishes?
Leonard: Hey, you have your goals, I have mine.
Sheldon: Hello.
Amy: What are you two doing?
Leonard: Mm, just finishing a workout.

Howard: Engage them for a minute and take note of their reactions.
Leonard: There's something familiar about all this.
Howard: Okay, go.
Sheldon: Hello, baby. Are you having a pleasant day?
Leonard: Oh, my G-- This is my entire childhood.
Sheldon: Leonard, Leonard, you're tainting my data.
Leonard: Uh, it's like word for word.

Leonard: Oh, my God. At sleepaway camp my cabin was called "Control Group."

Leonard: Wow. That's a lot of luggage for a weekend.
Penny: I know. I didn't know what to wear, so I brought a few options.
Leonard: Was one of the options the option to never come back?

Sheldon: So, your convention is in San Diego, right?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Great. I need you to settle a bet for Amy and me.
Amy: I say, when it's not Comic-Con, no one will be dressed as superheroes.
Sheldon: Mm-hmm. And I say fewer people will be dressed as superheroes but still some.
Amy: A crazy person in a cape doesn't count.
Leonard: Mm, why not? It counts at Comic-Con.

Leonard: I love you.
Penny: I love you, too.
Leonard: And you're gonna do great. Just relax, stay out of your head, and try to enjoy it.
Penny: Aw. That reminds me of what I said to you the first time we slept together.
Leonard: I still use it. It's a mantra.

Sheldon: Oh, thank goodness! I caught you before you left.
Penny: I'm just going for the weekend.
Leonard: Just the weekend. You all heard her say it.

Leonard: All right, I'll tell you. Uh, [stammers] Kevin Smith was there, and-and, uh, this really tall guy named Kareem.
Penny: Wait-wait, K-Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?
Leonard: I don't know, it was, uh, Kareem something Jabbar. How do you know him
Penny: How do you not know him?
Leonard: Well, I know him now 'cause he was there.

Wil Wheaton: You come face to face with a massive monster with a gaping maw full of teeth, three huge legs, and flailing tentacles. What do you do?
William Shatner: Fellas, it looks like we're facing a, an otyugh. Here's the plan-
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: Hold on there, Bill.
William Shatner: Now what, Kareem?
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: How do we know it's not a Neo-otyugh?
William Shatner: Same way I know the difference between an owlbear and a bugbear. Does that answer your question?
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: No.
Joe Manganiello: Look, there's one way to settle this: we chop it up and look at the pieces.
Kevin Smith: Oh, come on, why do you always got to attack everything? Why can't we just try talking to it?
Joe Manganiello: Big surprise, Podcast here wants to talk.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: What do you think, Leonard?
Leonard: I think this is the greatest day of my entire life.
William Shatner: It's all right, buddy, one day you'll meet a girl.

Wil Wheaton: Hey, Leonard, I have an opening in my D&D game next week, and I was wondering if you were interested in playing.
Leonard: Well, yes, thank you.
Wil Wheaton: Okay, great. Now, here's the thing, you can't tell anyone. I'm serious, not Howard, not Raj, and certainly not Sheldon.
Leonard: Okay.
Wil Wheaton: I'm really sorry to put you in a position where you have to lie to your friends-
Leonard: See you there!

Howard: So, Sheldon, did you get William Shatner's autograph, or maybe his dry cleaning bill?
Sheldon: [chuckles] Very funny, get it all out.
Leonard: Like you did on William Shatner?

Leonard: Hey, Zack. Um, look, I-I know this is gonna be disappointing, but, um, I-I can't do this. No, no, no, no. I-I, I know how. I just can't. (stammers) But, hey, look, i-if you like, I-I know someone who might be interested.
[cut to Sheldon on the phone in Apartment 4B]
Amy: No! Absolutely not!
Sheldon: I'm sorry, my wife says I'm not allowed.

Wyatt: You did great, Leonard. Very forceful.
Leonard: Yeah? (chuckles) I-I-I felt like my voice was a little shaky there.