Howard: Okay, "Check it out. I got us matching sweaters."
Leonard: We all got the Christmas card. Cinnamon.

Raj: You know a man can care deeply about a woman and a pet. It's not strange.
Leonard: Ooh, Emily. I heard him say that to Emily.

Raj: You know what, I think it's a little weird that you remember me saying all these things. Maybe the truth is you're jealous of all my relationships.
Howard: Oh. Maybe I am. Who wouldn't want to the girl - or possibly dog - to hear the words "You're so lucky. You have the shiniest hair."
Leonard: That is a tough one. I know he brushes both of them.

Raj: Where's Sheldon?
Penny: Date night.
Leonard: That can't be much fun for Amy. You know at work today he tried his first Redbull.
Bernadette: What happened?
Leonard: He chased a squirrel around the quad for a while. And then threw up in my car.

Leonard: I know he can be a lot of trouble, but when I see him laying here asleep like this, I just think, how easy it would be to hold a pillow over his face.

Leonard: Do you realize I don't live with the woman I love because of you? No other reason. Just you.
Sheldon: Is that true?
Leonard: Yes, it's true. The last time I brought it up, you had an emotional breakdown, got on a train, and ran away.

Leonard: Ladies do love a guy dressed like a kitchen garbage bag.

Howard: Don't feel bad. Some day someone will be throwing out your work, too.
Leonard: That someone was Sheldon and the day was yesterday.

Leonard: You know what, this bottle was meant to celebrate an achievement. Let's make a pact. When one of us gets their first big breakthrough, we'll celebrate by opening this bottle and toasting Professor Abbott.
Howard: I love that.
Raj: Me too.
Leonard: Then, of course, rubbing our success in Sheldon's face.
Howard: Well that's the best part.

Sheldon: I was not panicked, and I am not overly attached to Leonard.
Leonard: You were so worried that you smashed your face trying to check on me. You looove me.

Howard: Lots of people wear matching pajamas who aren't dating.
Raj: Like who?
Howard: Like you and your dog.
Leonard: Don't rule out the dating.

Penny: Well you wouldn't have asked me either.
Leonard: I would have asked you. In my head. On the way home. While I was having a good cry.

Penny: Or maybe, now that I'm no longer an out-of-work actress who can't pay for her own dinner, that makes you a little insecure.
Leonard: I can't believe you would say that. You know how insecure I am about my insecurities.

Penny: If I do well in sales, I could end up making a lot more money than you.
Leonard: Not a problem. I grew up with a mother who emasculated my father financially and in every other aspect of his life, so really it's what I think love looks like.

Leonard: Wait, wait, is 'brought' right?
Sheldon: Marty never had have had brought?
Leonard: I don't know, you did it to me.