Leonard: I'm gonna see where he is.
Penny: How?
Leonard: I know his password so I can track his phone.
Penny: You do that?
Leonard: Not always. But ever since he wandered off at the swap meet chasing a balloon, I get worried.

Leonard: It's dark out and he's alone. I don't like it. Let's go get him.
Penny: It's sweet how you look out for him. You're a good guy.
Leonard: It's not just that. My mother would kill me if I let something happen to him.

Leonard: You know he can't take a trip like this by himself.
Penny: He's a grown man.
Leonard: No, he looks like a grown man. You've seen Freaky Friday, sometimes little kids end up in big person bodies.

Leonard: Sheldon, I'm going to miss you.
Sheldon: Of course you are.
Leonard: You just made that easier.

Leonard: I don't know. The bisexual, gorilla, go-go dancer in Schindler's list is tough to beat.

Sheldon: *Laughs* Very good. Because a gorilla go-go dancer of any sexual preference would be out of place in a film about the Holocaust.
Leonard: It only gets funnier when you explain it, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I know.

Leonard: What about when you did Anne Frank at that cute little theater?
Penny: It was above a bowling alley.
Leonard: Yeah, but there was ample parking.

Leonard: And you were so good in the commercial.
Penny: It was for haemorrhoid cream.
Leonard: And I got itchy and swolen just watching you.

Leonard: No, it's too late. I'm your bran muffin. Probably fat free and good for your colon.

Leonard: Oh, I know. This might help. *Gets a ring out of his wallet*
Penny: Where did you get a ring?
Leonard: I've had it for a couple of years. Not important. Penny, will you marry me?
Penny: Oh, my God, yes.
Leonard: This would have been so much more romantic if you didn't have monkey hair on your finger.

Leonard: This would have been so much more romantic if you didn't have gorilla hair on your fingers.

Leonard: The funeral's on Sunday.
Sheldon: But that's Star Wars day.
Leonard: Yeah. Off all the things about this that are sad, that might not be number one.

Sheldon: I'm fine.
Leonard: Okay ... and yet he cried when they changed the Raisin Bran box.

Sheldon: Arthur Jeffries was a scientist. I'm sure he didn't care about stupid superstitions like funerals. If he were here, I think he'd say "Enjoy Star Wars day".
Leonard: He was eighty-four. He'd say "Where's my pudding?"

Penny: You're a big cry baby. You start, I'll join in.
Leonard: I am not a cry baby.
Penny: Toy Story 3.
Leonard: The toys were holding hands in a furnace!