Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 1 of 44

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Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Sheldon: I couldn't sleep knowing that just outside my bedroom is our living room and just outside our living room is that hallway and immediately adjacent to that hallway is [Penny's messed up apartment]!
Leonard: Do you realize if Penny wakes up there's no reasonable explanation to why we are here?
Sheldon: I just gave you a reasonable explanation.
Leonard: No, no. You gave me an explanation. Its reasonableness will be determined by a jury of your peers.

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Wolowitz: So, how'd it go with Leslie?
Leonard: Oh, we tried kissing, but the earth didn't move. I mean any more than the 383 miles it was gonna move anyway.

Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Penny: I need some guinea pigs.
Sheldon: Okay, there's a lab animal supply company in Reseda you can try. But if your research is going to have human applications, may I suggest white mice? Their brain chemistry is far closer to ours.
Penny: I swear to God, Sheldon, one day I'm going to get the hang of talking to you.
Leonard: His mom's been saying that for years.

Quote from the episode The Middle-Earth Paradigm

Leonard: Homo habilis discovering his opposable thumbs says what?
Kurt: What?

Quote from the episode The Middle-Earth Paradigm

Penny: Why can't all guys be like you?
Leonard: Because if all guys were like me the human race couldn't survive.

Quote from the episode The Middle-Earth Paradigm

Leonard: That's how we roll in the Shire!

Quote from the episode Pilot

Leonard: I love cheesecake.
Sheldon: You're lactose-intolerant.
Leonard: I don't eat it. I just think it's a good idea.

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Mary Cooper: You know, you two make a cute couple.
Leonard: No, no we're not, we're not a couple, we're single, two singles, like those individually wrapped slices of cheese that are friends.
Mary Cooper: Did I pluck a nerve there?
Howard: Oh yeah.

Quote from the episode The Vartabedian Conundrum

Stephanie: I don't see anything at all, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Well, you're the doctor, but I am constantly hearing this annoying sound.
Leonard: Me too.
Sheldon: Is it a high frequency whistle?
Leonard: No, it's more of a relentless, narcissistic drone.

Quote from the episode The White Asparagus Triangulation

Sheldon: *knock knock knock* Leonard? (x3)
Leonard: What, Sheldon!? What, Sheldon!? What, Sheldon!?
Sheldon: Tell me what you see here.
Leonard: The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial?

Quote from the episode The Griffin Equivalency

Sheldon: I often forget other people have limitations. It's so sad.
Howard: He can feel sadness?
Leonard: Not really. It's what you and I would call condescension.

Quote from the episode The Vartabedian Conundrum

Leonard: No, absolutely not.
Sheldon: It's not a big deal.We have latex gloves.
Leonard: I don't care what the symptoms are. My girlfriend is not going to give you a prostate exam.

Quote from the episode The Killer Robot Instability

Howard: Behold the Mobile Omni-Directional Neutralization and Termination Eradicator! Or...
Leonard, Sheldon, Howard, Raj: Monte.

Quote from the episode The Killer Robot Instability

Sheldon: This is an auspicious moment, like Robert Oppenhiemer or Neil Armstrong, we need the appropriate words to mark this historic scientific event.
Rajesh: How about, die toaster, die!
Leonard: That'll do it!

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Leonard: (To Howard and Raj) Sheldon is at the Cheesecake Factory.
Leonard: (On the phone to Penny) Just tell him to go home.
Penny: Well, he won't leave. He says he's afraid he'll pass out on the bus and someone will harvest his organs.
Leonard: (to Howard & Raj) He is paranoid and he has established a nest.

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