Mrs. Wolowitz Quotes Page 1 of 3

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Quote from the episode The Staircase Implementation

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, are you having a playdate?
Howard: I don't have playdates. I have colleagues.
Mrs. Wolowitz Do their parents know they're here?
Howard: No, but if you keep screaming, maybe they'll hear you.

Quote from the episode The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition

Howard: Okay, I get it. You're angry. You don't want to see your little bird leave the nest.
Mrs. Wolowitz Little bird? You're almost thirty. Fly, for God's sake!

Quote from the episode The Date Night Variable

Mrs. Wolowitz I'm not going near that fakakta thing. I'll catch a computer virus.
Howard: You can't catch a computer virus.
Mrs. Wolowitz Oh, so now you're an astronaut and a doctor?

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, it's the phone.
Howard: I know it's the phone, Ma. I can hear the phone.
Mrs. Wolowitz Well who's calling at this ungodly hour?
Howard: I don't know.
Mrs. Wolowitz Well ask them why they're calling at this ungodly hour.
Howard: How can I ask them when I'm talking to you?

Quote from the episode The Habitation Configuration

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, help, my hand's stuck in the garbage disposal.
Howard: Let go of whatever piece of food you're holding.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Are you kidding? It's a perfectly good chicken leg.

Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Formulation

Mrs. Wolowitz: Who's there? Are you a sex criminal?
Howard: Sex criminals don't have key, ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Where were you so late?
Howard: I was out with Bernadette
Mrs. Wolowitz: I know what that means, I watch Dr. Phil. I hope to God you used a condom.
Howard: I am not having this conversation with you, ma.
Mrs. Wolowitz: God forbid you get one of them fancy sex diseases.
Howard: Nobody has a disease!
Mrs. Wolowitz:I hope not. I share a toilet with you. Is that what you want, to give your mother herpes?

Quote from the episode The Killer Robot Instability

Mrs. Wolowitz Should I ask Leonard to bring over your homework?
Howard: I don't have homework. I'm a grown man with a master's degree in engineering.
Mrs. Wolowitz Excuse me, Mr. Fancy Pants. Want me to get you a popsicle?

Quote from the episode The Hawking Excitation

Mrs. Wolowitz You're right. Who am I kidding? You should have seen me when I was young, Sheldon. The fellas used to line up and bring me boxes of candy. Why did I eat it all? Will you hold me?

Quote from the episode The Prom Equivalency

Stuart: What are you talking about? There's nothing weird going on between me and your mother.
Mrs. Wolowitz (o.s.): Stewie, your bath is getting cold!

Quote from the episode The Killer Robot Instability

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, there's a blonde girl, Patsy, here to see you.
Howard: Who?
Mrs. Wolowitz Okay, now she's saying it's Penny.

Quote from the episode The Dumpling Paradox

Mrs. Wolowitz: That's right. Go back to Bablyon, you whore!

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Mrs. Wolowitz Who's on the phone?
Howard: It's Leonard.
Mrs. Wolowitz Why is he calling?
Howard: Sheldon's sick.
Mrs. Wolowitz Were you playing with him?
Howard: For God's sake ma, I'm twenty six years old.
Mrs. Wolowitz Well excuse me Mr. Grown-up. Whadda ya want for breakfast?

Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm

Mrs. Wolowitz What's going on? Are you boys roughhousing?
Howard: We're just talking, ma.
Mrs. Wolowitz If you don't settle down right now, I'm not going to let you have any more sleepovers.

Quote from the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion

Mrs. Wolowitz Tell her we're going to the Olive Garden. I have a coupon.
Howard: We're not going to the Olive Garden, ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz Oh, Mr. Big Shot with his Red Lobster.

Quote from the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Howard: Hey, ma, can I have lamb stew for dinner?
Mrs. Wolowitz: Lamb stew? I'd have to go to the supermarket.
Howard: Please? I got a real hankering.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Oh, I can't say no to my little tushie face. I'll be back soon.

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