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Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: Come on, looks don't matter to Sheldon. ... Because he only has eyes for you!
Amy: Nice try.
Penny: Thanks, I was scrambling.

Quote from the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Penny: Oh come on, he's a grown man. He can take care of himself.
Amy: You really believe that?
Penny: Once again, you got me.

Quote from the episode The Recollection Dissipation

Amy: How can he not remember a day?
Penny: Well, people who are abducted by aliens lose time. I mean, maybe it happens to the aliens, too.

Quote from the episode The Recollection Dissipation

Penny: Uh-oh, someone's got two dates to the nerd prom.

Quote from the episode The Comic-Con Conundrum

Penny: Oh, let me guess. You guys are drafting your fantasy accounting firms.

Quote from the episode The Comic-Con Conundrum

Amy: Why don't you just tell him you don't want to go?
Penny: I can't, it'll break his heart. You know, he's always making an effort to do things with me he doesn't enjoy, like going outside.
Amy: He is an indoor cat.

Quote from the episode The Allowance Evaporation

Bernadette: When you moved here, you didn't have a lot of money. How'd you get by?
Penny: Well, sometimes you can get free food and Wi-Fi from the neighbors. Just know you might have to marry one of 'em.

Quote from the episode The Emotion Detection Automation

Leonard: So you're gonna throw me under the bus?
Penny: Oh, I'm gonna throw you so hard, I might actually win a stuffed animal.

Quote from the episode The Emotion Detection Automation

Leonard: He really worked with the Drug Enforcement Agency?
Penny: He didn't know it 'til he was cuffed, but yeah.

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Penny: Pink wine and pizza bagels? It's like eighth grade all over again.

Quote from the episode The Romance Recalibration

Penny: Is it normal for the husband to kind of completely stop giving a crap?
Bernadette: Uh-oh, what's going on?
Penny: Well, Leonard used to do all these things, like bring me flowers and wear pants.

Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Raj: Don't come to the hospital. We're headed home.
Penny: Oh, that was fast. Did she sneeze the baby out?

Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision

Leonard: You're good at revenge; how do we get him back?
Penny: Well, my go-to move is usually sleep with the person's boyfriend, but I kind of feel like I'm already doing that.

Quote from the episode The Brain Bowl Incubation

Raj: Well, I can't eat like a ten-year-old all the time.
Penny: You're dating somebody! Who is it?

Quote from the episode The Veracity Elasticity

Penny: I can't believe I'm saying this, but can we watch the news or something?

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