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Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Penny: You want to talk about crazy mothers, Leonard's mom wouldn't give him any sort of approval growing up.
Priya: Oh, the poor thing.
Penny: It makes him desperate to please women. That's why the foreplay goes on and on.
Priya: It does, doesn't it?
Penny: It's like he's trying to win a prize. A word of advice, don't doze off. You will never hear the end of it.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Priya: Nice of you to come for Howard.
Penny: Well, he's my friend. It's what you do. (Laughs)
Priya: I'm sorry, did I miss something?
Penny: It's just so weird. Howard Wolowitz is my friend. You know, once he tried to stick his tongue down my throat and I broke his nose.
Priya: That's a little easier to believe than he's your friend.
Penny: Yeah, tell me about it.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Howard: So I knocked down the bathroom door, picked up my poor unconscious mother, carried her to the car, and drove like a madman to the emergency room.
Bernadette: You're a real hero, Howard.
Howard: No, I did what any son would do.
Penny: Hang on a second, you picked up your mother? Her own legs are barely able to do that.
Howard: I was filled with adrenaline. It happens to be how women lift cars off babies.
Penny: Yeah, I'm saying, it'd be easier to lift a car.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Leonard: So, how is she?
Howard: They're running tests. I don't know. It may have been a heart attack or heart-attack-like event.
Penny: What's the difference?
Sheldon: A heart-attack-like event is an event that's like a heart attack.
Penny: Thanks for clearing that up.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Bernadette: So it's probably genetic.
Howard: Well, maybe. Mom also had just gotten some news that might have upset her.
Bernadette: What?
Howard: It's not important.
Bernadette: Come on, Howard, I'm going to be your wife. You can share anything with me.
Howard: You'd think that. But no.
Bernadette: You told her we were going to get married and she had a heart attack?
Howard: You can't take that personally.
Penny: How else is she supposed to take it?

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Penny: Hey.
Sheldon: Hello.
Penny: Haven't seen you in a while. How's it going?
Sheldon: Oh, other than waiting out the exponential growth period of the virulent organisms trooping through my micro-villi into my circulatory system, hunky-dory. (Penny laughs) Did I say something amusing?
Penny: I don't know. Maybe, I have no idea what you said.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Sheldon: So your mirth is merely a discharge of nervous energy with no semantic content at all?
Penny: My mirth. Classic.
Sheldon: Is there a station coming up where I can board your giggling train of thought?
Penny: It's not a big deal, Sheldon. It's just, ever since Leonard's been dating Raj's sister, I've had to keep my distance. I don't get to hear all your jibber-jabber.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Penny: Hey, do me a favor and take table seven.
Bernadette: You mean the one with my one hundred and eighteen-pound rock-hard stud of a fianc who's prone to canker sores and pinkeye?
Penny: Nah, I prefer to look at it as the one with my ex-boyfriend and his gorgeous, successful and sophisticated girlfriend, who makes me feel like a toothless Okie.

Quote from the episode The Scavenger Vortex

Penny: Wow, I can drink a beer underwater!

Quote from the episode The Extract Obliteration

Amy: How'd it go with Leonard?
Penny: I don't think he'll be making that mistake again.
Bernadette: Good.
Penny: So, I know this goes without saying, but if either of you tell Leonard you helped me rewrite this paper, I will beat you both with a bag of oranges.

Quote from the episode The Extract Obliteration

Penny: Now, ladies, we got a B-minus on this paper. I think if we put our heads together, on the next one we could get an A.
Bernadette: Uh, but we got you a B-minus on purpose to make it believable.
Penny: Believable? You saying I'm not smart?
Bernadette: No, no!
Amy: You're smart.
Penny: That's better.

Quote from the episode The Extract Obliteration

Leonard: Good morning, sunshine.
Penny: Leonard. It's eight a.m. It's like the middle of the night.

Quote from the episode The Extract Obliteration

Penny: Hey, what's this?
Leonard: Uh, before you open that, um, are you familiar with the story of "The Shoemaker and the Elves"?
Penny: Elves? Come on, Leonard. It's too early for Lord of the Rings.

Quote from the episode The Extract Obliteration

Leonard: Am I allowed to ask how the class is going?
Penny: It's really good. We've been talking about the origins of slavery. Turn in my first paper tomorrow.
Leonard: Great topic. I can help with that. There are lots of different perspectives you can take, economic, sociological, political.
Penny: Hey hey hey, this is my paper. And my perspective is that slavery is bad. Oh, and my professor's black, so I'm pretty sure thats the right answer.

Quote from the episode The Extract Obliteration

Penny: Spaghetti okay?
Leonard: It's crunchy. Just the way I like it.
Penny: Yeah, I don't think the water was really boiling.

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