Leonard: (Talking about Raj to Penny) Don't you have a drink that could make him less obnoxious?
Penny: Drinks do not do that.

Sheldon: What can we do that's fun?
Leonard: What can we do that's different?
Penny: What can we do that's free?

Penny: "It was just past dawn on the prairie and, like every morning, Amelia prepared to do her chores. Except something about this morning felt different."
Bernadette: Why? Why did it feel different?
Penny: "Maybe it was the first whisper of winter in the air. Or maybe it was the unconscious, handsome man with porcelain skin and curious clothing she was about to discover lying in the field. A man who would open her mind to new possibilities and her body to new feelings."

Amy: I think I have you both beat. Imagine trying to be a grown up when you've never even been with a man.
Penny: Sex is not what makes you a grown up.
Bernadette: Yeah, or you'd be the oldest one here.
Penny: Really? Is that how you talk to your mother?

Penny: All right, so what are we celebrating?
Leonard: Well, you know, Bernadette and Howard are pregnant again, and Amy and Sheldon are getting married. I didn't want you to feel left out.
Penny: Left out? Well, Bernadette has to grow a baby inside of her, and Amy has to marry one. My life is great.

Sheldon: Oh, I got a letter from my Meemaw. Smell this.
Penny: What is that?
Sheldon: Uh, roses, Bengay, and Dr. Scholls' foot powder.
Penny: Yeah, "Grandma", by Calvin Klein.

Penny: What's the gist, physicist?

Penny: Doing laundry?
Sheldon: Of course I'm doing laundry. Saturday night is laundry night and I'm in a laundry room, so I believe your inference is justified.
Penny: Oh, "My inference is justified", Sheldon you are so funny!

Sheldon: Thank you. That was wonderful.
Penny: Oh, wait, wait, wait. Stuart didn't get to speak.
Stuart: Oh, oh, okay. Um. Uh, Sheldon, I've spent most of my life feeling invisible, but having you and everyone-
Amy: Hey, everybody, listen up.
Penny: (To Stuart) You nailed it.

Howard: Well, what if you make an appointment as a patient? Then you'll get to talk to her.
Penny: Yeah, they already know I'm a pharmaceutical sales rep.
Raj: Oh. What if Leonard made an appointment and tried to lay some groundwork for you?
Penny: That's interesting.
Leonard: I'm not gonna make a fake appointment with a psychiatrist. What would I say is wrong with me?
Raj: Low self-esteem.
Howard: Social anxiety.
Sheldon: Sexual insecurity.
Leonard: None of that is true.
Penny: Uh, denial. See, sweetie, the list goes on and on.

Amy: So when you guys plan on getting married?
Penny: We're not sure, but I wanna wait long enough to prove to my mother I'm not pregnant.

Penny: You're a grown man. You should be able to pick whichever Hobbit you want. ... I wish you wouldn't, but one problem at a time.

Leonard: You know we could throw a dinner party too. Maybe even ask everyone to get dressed up.
Penny: Sure. Just when you say dressed up, you mean nice clothes, right? Not like capes and tights and crap
Leonard: Yes. Although...
Penny: No.

Penny: Oh Balls!

Amy: Ooh, there's a cover band in the lounge.
Penny: Eh, no.
Amy: But they play Barry Manilow.
Penny: No.
Amy: But they're called Fairly Manilow.
Penny: Oh, okay.
Amy: Great!
Penny: No!