Penny: I mean, the whole experience reminded me about how much I hated about that world. You-you know, the anxiety, the depression, the negativity. I don't want to feel those things. I want to sell drugs to people who feel those things.

Penny: Oh, sweetie, you should really get some money.

Wil Wheaton: Hello, caller, you are on with Penny and Wil from Serial Ape-ist 2.
Woman on phone: I don't have a question. I just want to say I'm a big fan of the movie. I've seen it, like, ten times.
Penny: Okay, well, I'll apologize for the first time, but the other nine are on you.

Penny: I think I started to suspect it was a bad movie when I looked at the script and saw the title, "Serial Ape-ist 2: Monkey See, Monkey Kill".
Wil Wheaton: Uh, spoiler alert. After the monkey sees, it kills.

Penny: You know when they chase you out of there, you only have to run faster than Sheldon.

Penny: We had one of these growing up. I used to play all the time.
Raj: Oh yeah, I loved ping pong.
Penny: Oh, I meant beer pong.

Penny: Bernadette, for every episode of Doctor Who Leonard has made me sit through, I will play on your behalf and send that TARDIS back to Gallifrey, where I hate that I know it belongs.

Amy: Ooh, you just chose champions. It's like we're re-enacting the ancient German practice of trial by combat.
Penny: It's also like when the Mountain fought the Red Viper in Game of Thrones.
Bernadette: Leonard makes you watch that, too?
Penny: No, I like that show. It's got dragons and people doing it.

Penny: Okay, new Salon topic. Salons, dumb thing from a long time ago, or interesting thing made dumb by talking about superheroes? Discuss.

Sheldon: Indeed. Penny, a salon is a gathering where intellectuals entertained each other with sparkling conversations about the issues of the day.
Penny: Huh. So it's like The View.

Leonard: I'm the one who thought of it.
Penny: Well, didn't he do a lot of the work?
Leonard: But now he's happy to let everyone think he's responsible for everything.
Penny: And that's why you get an iPad helicopter.

Penny: I mean, who even reads Scientific American?
Leonard: It's kind of a big deal.
Penny: If it's such a big deal, how come the biggest celebrity they could get for the cover is a molecule?

Penny: So, what do you think?
Leonard: I thought it would be a little more ... just more.
Penny: I'm not even sure why we were out of breath.

Penny: No, come on, I wanna do it. Let's you, me and your very, very pale feet make some art.

Leonard: I was unstoppable. I was on fire. It was like my mind and my body were totally connected, like athletes must feel when they're in the zone.
Penny: Again, it was miniature golf.
Leonard: Admit it, you're a little turned on.
Penny: You can't be this proud.
Leonard: Why not?
Penny: Because I beat you.