Penny: Sheldon, she wanted to share a toothbrush holder with you, and now you're at an ice cream parlor trying to pick up women!

Sheldon: Oh, look who's in favor of compromise, the woman who married Leonard Hofstadter.
Leonard: Hey, she didn't compromise. She settled. There's a difference.
Penny: Yeah, you tell him, babe.

Penny: The new neighbors are weird.

Penny: Now Sheldon's popular? What is happening?!

Penny: It's okay, I'll still go.
Leonard: You don't think you'll be bored?
Penny: Oh, I'll have some wine and listen to people go on about crap I don't understand. I mean, how is it any different than every single day of my life?
Sheldon: I won't be there.
Leonard: Look at that, it is a party!

Penny: You know, when Leonard's feeling anxious, I make him take a long walk.
Amy: Does that help?
Penny: For a while, then he comes back.

Sheldon: Do you think your father's doing unspeakable things to my mother?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Are you saying that because the things are unspeakable?
Penny: Your parents are old. Anything unspeakable was finished by 9:30.

Leonard: So, listen, do you remember when I said the similarities of the equations of general relativity and hydrodynamics suggest you could find the equivalent of Unruh radiation in a large body of water?
Penny: I thought I said that to you.

Leonard: I'll be on a ship in the North Sea.
Penny: On a ship? Aren't they afraid Hawking will just roll overboard?
Leonard: Uh, he's not gonna be there. He's just sending a team to research his theory.
Penny: Oh, sure. Like when you send me to kill spiders in your bathtub.

Penny: Oh, sweetie, if you're gonna screw things up, it's gonna be while you're here, not while you're away. No. I mean, look, you have to go. It sounds like an amazing opportunity. And I'm just basing that on how much I didn't understand what you said about it.

Bernadette: (Looking at the painting Amy bought Penny) That is big.
Penny: So big.
Bernadette: And ugly.
Penny: So ugly.

Penny: I can't believe it. All this time I've been doing nothing but sit around and miss that guy. And you know what the worst part is?
Sheldon: That you're having to process your emotional pain without vodka?
Penny: No. Yeah.

Penny: Oh, my God, Howard. That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. And it came out of you.

Bernadette: Why didn't you tell me?
Penny: Well, I was gonna, but I didn't think it would go past the first date. Then, when it did, I thought for sure it wouldn't go past you meeting his mother. Definitely not past the two of you sleeping together. I mean, the warning signs were there, this is really on you.

Bernadette: When I first met Howard, he seemed so innocent to me, just a sweet little guy who lives with his mother.
Penny: Well, if that's what you like, I'll take you to the comic book store, the place is full of 'em.
Bernadette: Wait a minute. You set me up with Howard. Did you know about all the creepy stuff he was into?
Penny: Well, a little. You hear stuff.