Sheldon: The thing about tomatoes, I think you will really enjoy this, is that they are shelved with the vegetables but they are technically a fruit.
Penny: Interesting.
Sheldon: Isn't it!
Penny: No, I mean what you find enjoyable.

Penny: I finally realize I don't need to be famous or have some big career to be happy.
Leonard: Well what do you need?
Penny: You, you stupid Poptart.

Penny: Do or do not do there is no try.
Leonard: Did you just quote Star Wars?
Penny: I believe I quoted The Empire Strikes Back.

Sheldon: I need your help in a matter of semiotics.
Penny: What?
Sheldon: Semiotics, the study of signs and symbols as a branch of the philosophy related to linguistics.
Penny: Okay, honey, I know you think you are explaining yourself, but you're really not.

Penny: Oh, that's a Venn Diagram, and I remember because I thought to myself, "Venn is he gonna stop talking about this diagram?"

Penny: Ok, here's the deal. You either help me throw Leonard a birthday party or, so help me God, I will go into your bedroom and I will unbag all of your most valuable mint condition comic books. And on one of them, you won't know which, I'll draw a tiny happy face.
Sheldon: You can't do that. If you make a mark on a mint comic book, it's no longer mint.
Penny: Sheldon, do you understand the concept of blackmail?

Sheldon: Why would you have surgery?
Leonard: Because I can't breathe. I snore. I get sinus infections.
Penny: Back off, he's all mine.

Penny: You know, there was a time I would say "God bless you," and then you would say "If you must invoke an imaginary deity, how about Thor?" And I would say, "How do you know I didn't mean Thor?" And then you would say "Touche," and that there ends the tale of why I no longer say "God bless you."
Sheldon: Well, we have had some fun, haven't we?
Penny: Oh, yeah.

Penny: That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
Howard: (to Leonard) Go ahead. Tell her about your senior prom.

Penny: You can't let her get into your head.
Leonard: It's too late for me, my head is her summer house.

Penny: Leonard. You're not only the love of my life. You're my best friend. And you've got a friend in me. You got troubles. I got 'em too. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. We stick together and we can see it through, because you've got a friend in me.

Leonard: So, should we talk about setting a date?
Penny: Well, I'd like to choose one that works with my brother's schedule.
Leonard: Right and when would that be?
Penny: Twelve to eighteen months from now, depending on good behavior.

Penny: And in double-blind studies, Placinex proved extremely effective in treating all kinds of anxiety. Actually, funny story. The boys in the lab were worried about getting FDA approval for Placinex; they started taking it, stopped worrying.

Penny: You're okay with an experiment where you have to answer awkward questions about your innermost feelings?
Sheldon: Yes.
Penny: Please can I do it with him, please.

Amy: Whatever happened to that ape movie you were in?
Penny: Oh, God. Probably nothing. I think I saw the director twirling a sign outside the Verizon store.