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Quote from the episode The Workplace Proximity

Raj: His only options here are to fake a heart attack or have a real one.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Raj: Sheldon, that's my water.
Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord! (Runs to the bathroom to wash his mouth)
Leonard: That's not your water.
Raj: I know!

4.6

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Raj: I've said before, and I'll say it again. Aquaman sucks.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem

Raj: Isn't there a policy against dating graduate students?
Leonard: No, if you can talk to them, you can ask them out.
Raj: Damn, there's always a catch.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Griffin Equivalency

Raj:Hey, buddy, I'm gonna be in People Magazine.
Charlie Sheen: Yeah, call me when you're on the cover.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Weekend Vortex

Raj: But e-excuse me, I have something to say. None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend. It was gonna be like the old days -- the four of us hanging out, playing video games, before you guys all got girlfriends. Do you have any idea what its like to the be the only one without a girlfriend? Even if I get one someday, I'll still be the guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper!

4.6

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Wolowitz: Okay, forget giant ants. How about giant rabbits?
Raj: Big or small, I don't like rabbits. They always look like they're about to say something, but they never do.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Raj: Insurance will replace your car, it won't defunk my junk.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Friendship Contraction

Raj: They don't call me Brown Dynamite for nothin'.

4.6

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Raj: I don't like rabbits. They always look like they're about to say something, but they never do.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction

Leonard: Hey, Sheldon sent us all an email. "Happy Holidays from Texas", and there's pictures. *Looks at his phone* Aww, do not open them. Do not open them!
Penny: Oh come on, childbirth is a natural, beautiful - Urgh, it's like someone sawed a cow in half.
Raj: My father is a gynaecologist, I think I can handle it. *Looks at his phone* And ... now I'm gay.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Howard: Wow, so you guys are like buds now?
Raj: Oh, yeah, we hang out all the time. Plus, he doesn't have a girlfriend.
Stuart: I don't have a girlfriend.
Raj: It's like we both had these holes in our lives, but now we fill each other's holes.
Stuart: That sounds a little
funny to an American ear.
Raj: Which part?
Stuart: Just all of it.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Apology Insufficiency

Raj: I can't talk to the FBI.
Howard: Why? They're just going to ask background questions about me.
Raj: I'm brown and I talk funny.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Raj: When I moved to America I was pretty lonely, but when I met Howard my life change because we could be lonely together.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Closure Alternative

Howard: People change names on blogs to protect their privacy. Roger is Raj.
Raj: Oh, I always thought, if I had a white name, it would be Gavin.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Raj: It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without an Indian providing the food.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Locomotive Manipulation

Raj: Cinnamon, she gave me her phone number! If I'd known it was that easy, I'd have considered poisoning you months ago.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Table Polarization

Raj: This is so much better than watching TV like a muggle.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Friendship Turbulence

Raj: Emily, your face is like a precious Dew-kissed flower.
Amy: Wow.
Raj: I know. Powerful stuff, huh?
Amy: No. You're supposed to be yourself. Not all desperate and creepy.
Raj: Okay, I'm getting some mixed messages here.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Sheldon: Obviously, we're no longer a Justice League. We have no choice but to switch to our Muppet Baby costumes.
Raj: Ooh, I call Kermit.
Sheldon: I'm Kermit. You're Scooter.
Raj: Oh, man. Scooter sucks. He's the Aquaman of the Muppet Babies.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Apology Insufficiency

Raj: Please don't send me back to India, it's so crowded! Its like the whole country's one endless Comic-Con, except everybody is wearing the same costume; Indian guy!

4.5

Quote from the episode The Wiggly Finger Catalyst

Penny: This girl is trouble! What kind of relationship is it where you buy her gifts and she gives you sex?
Raj: The best one I've ever had!

4.5

Quote from the episode The Transporter Malfunction

Raj: No, I'm not gay. If anything, I'm metrosexual.
Dr. Koothrappali: What's that?
Raj: It means that I like women, as well as their skin-care products.

4.4

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Raj: I wonder what the non-pathetic people are doing tonight.

4.4

Quote from the episode The Locomotive Manipulation

Raj: Oh my God, Cinnamon, are you okay? I can't believe you two (Leonard & Penny). (To the vet) You do whatever it takes to save her life. If she needs any new organs I'll buy any dog necessary and scrap them for parts!

4.4

Quote from the episode The Killer Robot Instability

Raj: (Referring to Kripke's accent) I'm curious, what part of America is that accent from?

4.4

Quote from the episode The Itchy Brain Simulation

Howard: The man impersonating a bear would like you to know that "Only you can prevent forest fires."
Raj: I don't get it.
Howard: You didn't have Smokey the Bear in India?
Raj: No. Was he anything like Munmun the Mongoose? He taught us not to play with cobras.
Howard: You had to be taught not to play with cobras?
Raj: You had to be taught not to burn down the forest?

4.4

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Raj: I can't believe you kissed my sister with moth mouth.
Leonard: Well, uh-- I can't believe you'd use Sheldon's toothbrush.
Sheldon: You used my toothbrush?
Raj: Not the brush part. Just the little rubber thing to pick food from my teeth and massage my gums.

4.4

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Insufficiency

Raj: Who died and made you the king of moments?

4.4

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Raj: My, my. The plot - like my gravy - thickens.

4.4

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