Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 1 of 38

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Quote from the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Rajesh: Why don't we do it your way then? We'll arrange for this girl to move in across the hall from Dennis so he can pathetically moon over her for months on end.
Leonard: Okay, that was uncalled for.
Rajesh: You started it, dude.

Quote from the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Howard: I guess times have changed since we were young. Smart is the new sexy.
Leonard: Then why do we go home alone every night? We're still smart.
Rajesh: Maybe we're too smart. So smart it's off-putting.

Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Raj: How can I be a gynaecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye!

Quote from the episode The Killer Robot Instability

Sheldon: Is it wrong to say I love our killer robot?
Rajesh: As with my father I both love and fear it.

Quote from the episode The Killer Robot Instability

Rajesh: Die, Toaster, Die!

Quote from the episode The Bat Jar Conjecture

Howard: Ooh, more details about the new Star Trek film! There is going to be a scene depicting Spock's birth. Raj: I'd be more interested in a scene depicting Spock's conception.

Quote from the episode The Bat Jar Conjecture

Sheldon: Teams are traditionally named after fierce creatures thus intimidating one's opponent.
Raj: Then we could be the Bengal tigers.
Sheldon: Poor choice. You know, gram for gram no animal exceeds the relative fighting strength of the army ant.
Raj: Maybe so, but you can't incinerate a Bengal tiger with a magnifying glass.

Quote from the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion

Leonard: How can 5 not be worse than 1?
Raj: Yeah, Star Trek 5 worse than 1.
Sheldon: Okay, first of all that is a comparison of quality not intensity. Secondly, Star Trek 1 is orders of magnitude worse than Star Trek 5.
Raj: Are you joking? Star Trek 5 is the standard against which all badness is measured.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Wolowitz: Oh, stop it with the fake third world crap. Your father is a gynecologist and you had a house full of servants.
Raj: We only had four servants, and two of them were children.

Quote from the episode The Cushion Saturation

Raj: We need a plan. How about Operation Hammer of the Gods?
Leonard: I forget, which one is Hammer of the Gods?
Raj: We hide behind the Dumpsters in the parking lot and ambush people when they come to pee.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Raj: Disneyland can suck it. This is the real happiest place on Earth.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Wolowitz: Sex is never the way I dreamed it was going to be.
Raj: Because in your dreams, you're a horse from the waist down.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Raj: Ooo, big talk from a man who was once treed by a chicken.

Quote from the episode The Monopolar Expedition

Raj: Well, I'm a Hindu. My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life we are rewarded in the next. Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Howard: Here's an approximation of the spare parts available on the Space Station. We gotta find a way, using nothing but this, to reinforce this so the waste material avoids the spinning turbine.
Raj: You mean so it doesn't hit the fan?

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