Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 1 of 38

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Quote from the episode The Emotion Detection Automation

Leonard: What's going on with that woman you're dating?
Raj: I broke up with her.
Leonard: Why?
Raj: She said she didn't want to see me anymore and I found that insulting.

Quote from the episode The Holiday Summation

Bernadette: Everyone's a better mom than me.
Raj: Oh, don't take it so personally, maybe your baby's just a jerk.

Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision

Raj: Hey, this pregnancy had an emotionally-needy third wheel way before you came along.

Quote from the episode The Geology Elevation

Sheldon: Bert did quality research. And he deserves whatever accolades he receives.
Howard: What is going on? Did you upgrade his software last night?
Leonard: I think he might be learning on his own.
Raj: Then the robot uprising has begun.

Quote from the episode The Brain Bowl Incubation

Raj: Oh my god, I just got it. Fun onions. Funyuns. Hahahaha!

Quote from the episode The Brain Bowl Incubation

Raj: Maybe there are other things we have in common. Come dinner-time, do you enjoy eating food?

Quote from the episode The Veracity Elasticity

Raj: Not me, I'm a 100% honest in all of my relationships.
Howard: And how single are you right now?
Raj: Eating-cake-on-the-toilet single.

Quote from the episode The Veracity Elasticity

Raj: If we're all gonna die, why am I eating so much kale?

Quote from the episode The Fetal Kick Catalyst

Raj: I've been babysitting him way longer than you have.

Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Bernadette: Sorry I flipped out on you. I think it's just hormones.
Raj: I think you were mean before you were pregnant, but it's fine.

Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Raj: Well, I think the first thing we should get rid of is that tone.

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Raj: Wail till I Snapchat that my friends might be working on a top secret government project.
Leonard: Are you crazy? You can't put that on Snapchat.
Raj: Fine, I'll put it on Facebook like a caveman.

Quote from the episode The Convergence Convergence

Bernadette: Oh, stop. You know what's really happening? All the movies you've watched, the TV shows, the comic books, they've completely twisted your thinking. No one's after you, no one's listening to you, no one cares about you.
Raj: I'd like to think the Four on Your Side guy cares about me.

Quote from the episode The Convergence Convergence

Bernadette: Are you done with this nonsense?
Howard: It's not nonsense. This is how the U.S. military works.
Raj: Oh, if it's even the U.S. Military. It could be foreign military pretending to be American.
Howard: You're right. We turn our guidance system over to them, next thing we know, they're using it against us.
Raj: (Raj opens the laptop again) I also love the enemies of America.

Quote from the episode The Convergence Convergence

Howard: I'm just afraid if I respond, then they'll know I got it.
Raj: Oh, dude. The minute you opened that e-mail, they knew you got it. I mean, they're probably looking at you through the camera right now. (Howard closes the laptop, Raj re-opens it and looks at the camera) I love America!

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