Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 1 of 44

Searching Search quotes

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Raj: We're being ridiculous. There's no way a woman that attractive is trying to seduce Sheldon Cooper.
Howard: You done trying to make yourself feel better?
Raj: No. I haven't played the race card yet.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Ramona Nowitzki: No, my work doesn't leave me a lot of time for relationships.
Raj: I think you made that very clear.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Raj: Dr. Nowitzki. Good to see you.
Ramona Nowitzki: Good to see you, too.
Raj: May I join you?
Ramona Nowitzki: No.
Raj: Good to see you.

Quote from the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Raj: I really can't thank you enough for taking me in. You know, I was in a pretty low place in my life, and-
Sheldon: (from across the hall) Oh, Amy, you naughty vixen.
Raj: Anyway, uh, as I was saying, I was at a pretty low place in my life and, uh, if it wasn't for friends like you-
Amy: (from across the hall) My goodness, that form of stimulation is highly efficient.
Raj: I can't compete with that.

Quote from the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Raj: Bert has a room for rent.
Bernadette: So you're gonna be roommates with Bert?
Raj: Uh, no, it's, uh, pretty private, actually, it's over his garage. So the only time I'll see him is when he pulls his car in, does his laundry or practices drums in my dining room.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Howard: You know what? I'm with Leonard, this isn't cool.
Leonard: Thank you.
Raj: I disagree. Penny is a strong, independent woman. The more you try to control her, the more she'll push back.
Leonard: So you think it's okay?
Raj: Oh, no, she's gonna leave you for someone, might as well get it over with.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Raj: You want a real challenge, try keeping me from eating more of these.
Sheldon: You're just using food to mask the fear that you're fundamentally unlovable and therefore going to be alone forever.
Raj: Damn it, he's good at that, too.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Sheldon: I started doing some reading on cognitive vitality, and I came across an area of research called "super-aging."
Raj: You know who's a super-ager? Jennifer Lopez. Like, what is her secret?

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Raj: Well, I know how you feel. I tried one of those electronic Japanese toilets, practically shot myself across the room.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Sheldon: Shall we?
Raj: Oh, my God. It's light, it's flaky, it's buttery. You don't need to have sex with him, just eat one of these.

Quote from the episode The Separation Agitation

Bert: I made a huge mistake.
Raj: No, you didn't. Okay? Look, Bert, when I had money, I dated lots of girls who weren't right for me. And then I gave up my money, and now I'm alone, and living with my friends, and somebody else should probably talk now.

Quote from the episode The Separation Agitation

Raj: I'd love a personal trainer. I haven't seen my abs since they opened a Shake Shack on my drive home.

Quote from the episode The Separation Agitation

Bert: Hey, guys.
Sheldon: Oh, hello.
Leonard: Hey. Want to join us?
Sheldon: But he's a geologist, and I have more physics jokes.
Raj: Oh, quick! Sit!

Quote from the episode The Separation Agitation

(Howard and Raj sing while playing the keyboards and guitar, respectively)
Howard: Wondering how it all began?
Raj: You'll need a good attention span-
Howard: For information and entertainment-
Raj: That's equally effective-
Both: It's Fun with Flags - Behind the Flags: A Retrospective. Flags!

Quote from the episode The Separation Agitation

Raj: Can't believe Bert has a girlfriend and I don't.
Amy: I thought you were taking a break from women to focus on your career.
Raj: Oh, grow up.

Showing quotes 1 to 15 of 659Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Submit Quotes