Raj: I know what it's like having to go through a loved one's possesions. My uncle was a worshipper of Krishna. But after he died, you know what we found? A statue of Shiva.
It might not be Crips & Bloods, but in India it's a thing.

Emily: If I stick a light bulb on this, will it make a great lamp for my bedroom?
Raj: You're kidding, right?
Emily: Oh, is this freaking you out?
Raj: I guess I'm just more of a Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel kind of guy. Maybe Pier 1 if I really want to cut loose.

Howard: It's not like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, right? Some bald guy with horns isn't going to rip my heart out?
Raj: Dude, that movie's an imperialist fantasy that makes the followers of a beautiful and peaceful religion look like a bunch of blood thirsty barbarians.
Howard: You love that movie.
Raj: Yeah, it's pretty great.

Raj: Okay, and here's the hook. "Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning. The other plays with bones."

Howard: Is there anything I should know before I go in?
Raj: Like what?
Howard: Like am I dressed okay?
Raj: Really? So every other place you've been, you thought this was fine?

Howard: I promise I'll be on my best behavior.
Raj: You better be. No jokes about how close I am with my dog. Or the truth about how close I am with my dog.

Raj: Uh, you know, my secret to making great omelets is that I beat the egg whites separately. Speaking of which, how long have you been separated? Speaking of which, how long have you been separated?
Nell: About two weeks.
Raj: That is not a lot of weeks. In fact, that's the bare minimum to get to the plural "weeks".

Penny: Raj, would you ever try an experiment like that with Emily?
Raj: I don't need science to win her heart, I have my family's wealth for that.

Sheldon: Unhand me! This is ridiculous.
Howard: I told you to put tape on his mouth.
Raj: And I told you he bit me!

Raj: I did the research. Tony the Tiger, Dig'em the Frog, Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Count Chocula, Trix the Rabbit, Snap, Crackle and Pop. Not one cereal mascot is a girl. It's a total breakfast sausage fest.
Leonard: Are we done with this?
Raj: Almost. Franken Berry, Boo Berry, Sugar Bear and the Honey Nut Cheerio bee, I believe his name is Buzz.

Raj: But it is basic human nature. If we present him as a prize, maybe they would.
Howard: Well, he's smart, he's a respected scientist-
Sheldon: And I have the soulful eyes of a cow.
Raj: I don't know if I'd say you - Oh.

Raj: So I've been trying to come up with a cute couple's nickname for me and Emily. What do you like better "Emipalli" or "Koothrapemily".
Howard: Why is it your last name and her first name?
Raj: Well, her last name is Sweeny, and something just didn't seem right about Koothrapeeny.

Raj: So how many tattoos?
Emily: One on my shoulder. One not on my shoulder. And one really not on my shoulder.
Raj: It's been a long time since I've seen a girl's really not her shoulder.

Raj: Of course. I'll give you guys some space. Let me just get this out of your way. (Raj fumbles around trying to move the gigantic teddy bear. He knocks over various objects in Howard & Bernadette's living room)
Howard: You need some help?
Raj: No, I got it.
Bernadette: Raj, Raj, wait.
Raj: Please, Bernadette. Let me leave with my dignity. (Raj falls over the teddy bear as he tries to move it out the door)

Emily: You aren't scared, are you?
Raj: Of ghosts, no. Of you, little bit.