Raj: That was rough, you guys.
Penny: I know, but you did it. I'm so proud of you.
Raj: Well, anyway, I'll leave you to your girls' night.
Amy: Are you sure you don't want to stay here with us?
Raj: No, I kind of feel like being alone right now.
Bernadette: Well, if you change your mind, we'll be here.
Raj: Thank you.
Penny: Say hi to Emily for us.
Raj: Will do!

Raj: I plan on leveling up in the game, not my swimsuit size, thank you very much.

Raj: But if we were part of the team that confirmed string theory, we could drink for free in any bar in any college town with a university that has a strong science program.

Leonard: Why don't we play this smart? Try a little good goblin, bad goblin.
Priya: Oh, dear Lord.
Howard: Nah, I think we have to be more subtle.
Raj: Okay, I see where this is going. Fine, I'll have sex with him.
Leonard: That's not where it was going.
Raj: Good, because I would hate that.

Raj: Attention all shoppers, my business is open for business!

Raj: If you people think this is better than Tom Hanks-Giving, you're all crazy.

Leonard: Don't a lot of famous actors get their start doing bad movies?
Penny: Okay, I don't think Meryl Streep ever had to say "Must keep gorilla hands from killing again".
Raj: If she did it would be amazing. That woman can do no wrong.

Raj: I give you one simple thing to do: contact a complete stranger and make her fall in love with me, and you blow it!

Raj: Hello, Emily.
Emily: Hello.
Raj: Amy told me you were concerned that I might be too passive and shy. Let me ask you something: would a passive guy barge in here to look you in the eye and say "Hey, dew-kissed flower. What's up?".
Emily: No, but a weird guy with no boundaries might.
Raj: Okay, that's a separate issue. Let's put a pin that and just focus on the passive thing.

Raj: Not my best first date, but not my worst either.

Leonard: That would be more helpful if E.T. were real.
Raj: Well, my feelings were real when he was about to die.
Leonard: My God, when he's on the table and they use the paddles on him.
Raj: And he's all white.
Leonard: They zip him up in that bag.
Raj: And Gertie can't stop crying.
Leonard: The flower dies.
Raj: Okay, let's talk about something else.

Sheldon: Look at this. They posted another video. It's not even about science. They're on a celebrity bus tour.
Raj: Those are fun. I went on one and saw Tom Hanks talking to his gardener. He's even nice when you plant the wrong color azaleas.

Penny: Yeah, and Amy gave me this plastic ring and told me to hold on to it.
Howard: I got one, too.
Leonard: Yeah, same.
Raj: Yeah, me, too. But-but Cinnamon ate it. I-I'll get it back tomorrow.

Raj: Huh. That is so strange. Human Resources wants to talk to me tomorrow. [to his dog] Could you stop licking your ass for two minutes? I have a problem here.

Leonard: So it sounds like we need a way to communicate that's simple.
Raj: And doesn't require outside machinery to be built to access it.
Leonard: It's also a problem because we don't even know if the aliens who find this can see. I mean, they might communicate in a totally different way than us.
Raj: Like when my dog is mad at me, she tells me by peeing in my slippers.