Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 2 of 38

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Quote from the episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem

Raj: Isn't there a policy against dating graduate students?
Leonard: No, if you can talk to them, you can ask them out.
Raj: Damn, there's always a catch.

Quote from the episode The Comic Book Store Regeneration

Raj: Yeah, Mrs. Wolowitz was pretty special. When I first moved to America, Howard was my only friend, and she made me feel so welcome in her home. Which says a lot, because those first few years she thought I was the gardener.

Quote from the episode The Thespian Catalyst

Raj: Cute is for bunnies. I want to be something with sex appeal. Like a labradoodle.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Wolowitz: You're such a douche
Raj: Who cares? You slept with your cousin!

Quote from the episode The Pirate Solution

Leonard: I've always been a little confused about this. Why don't Hindus eat beef?
Raj: We believe cows are gods.
Sheldon: Not technically. In Hinduism, cattle are thought to be like God.
Raj: Do not tell me about my own culture, Sheldon! In the mood I'm in, I'll take you out, I swear to cow!

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Raj: It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without an Indian providing the food.

Quote from the episode The Champagne Reflection

Leonard: Well, that's it. It's the end of Roger Abbott.
Raj: And we still don't know who framed him.

Quote from the episode The Fortification Implementation

Raj: So, how's it going with the title to the house?
Howard: Great, it's all done. The lawyer tracked down my father and got him to sign it over. I didn't have to meet him, I didn't have to talk to him, I don't even know where he is.
Raj: Wow, so you're not curious at all?
Howard: Nope.
Raj: What if he's in prison? What if he's a spy? What if he's in a Beatles cover band? I'm just saying, if he's got your nose and haircut, he'd make a killer Ringo.

Quote from the episode The Wildebeest Implementation

Raj: She didn't even get to see my penis.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Raj: If I could speak the language of rabbits, they would be amazed, and I would be their king.
Leonard: I hate my name. It has 'nerd' in it. 'Len. Nerd.'
Wolowitz: I lost my virginity to my cousin Jeanie.
Raj: I would be kind to my rabbit subjects. At first.

Quote from the episode The Pirate Solution

Sheldon: *Knock* Raj ... *Knock* ... Raj *Knock* ... Raj.
*Raj answers the door*
Raj: I'm busy.
Sheldon: Doing what? *Raj does his finger trick again* Ok, you've made your point.

Quote from the episode The Closure Alternative

Howard: People change names on blogs to protect their privacy. Roger is Raj.
Raj: Oh, I always thought if I had a white name it would be Gavin.

Quote from the episode The Hook-Up Reverberation

Howard: You know, when I was a kid I loved going there but I could never get a ride.
Raj: Ooh, what if we got a van and drove around, and picked kids up?
Sheldon: Nice! Like at parks and schools.
Howard: Toy stores, puppet shows.
Leonard: Hold on, so your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up?
Sheldon: Yes!
Leonard: And are you going to use candy to lure them in?
Raj: We are now!

Quote from the episode The Bat Jar Conjecture

Sheldon: Teams are traditionally named after fierce creatures thus intimidating one's opponent.
Raj: Then we could be the Bengal tigers.
Sheldon: Poor choice. You know, gram for gram no animal exceeds the relative fighting strength of the army ant.
Raj: Maybe so, but you can't incinerate a Bengal tiger with a magnifying glass.

Quote from the episode The Einstein Approximation

Raj: Okay, just to be clear, roller skating was my idea, and I'm very unhappy that you turned it into a double date. I hope you both fall on your asses and break your coccyxes.
Sheldon: The plural of coccyx is coccyges.
Raj: Screw you. Give me back my lima beans.

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