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Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Raj: How can I be a gynaecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye!

Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex

Leonard: I think I'm starting to get this.
Rajesh: Really? The only thing I've learnt in the last 2 hours is that American men drink a lot of beer, pee too often and have trouble getting erections.
Leonard: Focus on the game, not the commercials Raj.

Quote from the episode The Itchy Brain Simulation

Howard: The man impersonating a bear would like you to know that "Only you can prevent forest fires."
Raj: I don't get it.
Howard: You didn't have Smokey the Bear in India?
Raj: No. Was he anything like Munmun the Mongoose? He taught us not to play with cobras.
Howard: You had to be taught not to play with cobras?
Raj: You had to be taught not to burn down the forest?

Quote from the episode The Junior Professor Solution

Raj: So I've been trying to come up with a cute couple's nickname for me and Emily. What do you like better "Emipalli" or "Koothrapemily".
Howard: Why is it your last name and her first name?
Raj: Well, her last name is Sweeny, and something just didn't seem right about Koothrapeeny.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Howard: Okay make your little jokes, but out of the four of us, I'm the only one who's making real world contribution to science and technology.
Rajesh: He's right, this is an important achievement for two reasons. Number one and of course number two!

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Howard: Wow, so you guys are like buds now?
Raj: Oh, yeah, we hang out all the time.
Stuart: Plus, he doesn't have a girlfriend, I don't have a girlfriend.
Raj: It's like we both had these holes in our lives, but now we fill each other's holes.
Stuart: That sounds a little funny to an American ear.
Raj: Which part?
Stuart: Just all of it.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Wolowitz: I think that you and Penny had a poor night.
Leonard: It wasn't poor. It was ... just fine.
Raj: Dude, the fourth Harry Potter movie was just fine.

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Rajesh: You know there's something I've always wondered about Aquaman
Leonard: Yeah?
Rajesh: Where does he poop?
Leonard: What?
Rajesh: What do the toilet look like in Atlantis? How would you flush it? And when you did flush it, where would the poop go?

Quote from the episode The Bat Jar Conjecture

Raj: I say we wait until he looks at us then laugh, like "Yes, you're a smart and strong competitor but we're also smart and strong and we have a reasonable chance of defeating you".

Quote from the episode The Precious Fragmentation

Sheldon: Where's the ring?
Leonard: It's in a Fedex box on it's way back to where it came from.
Rajesh: The fires of Mount Doom?

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Raj: Hell hound. Who let the satanic dogs out?

Quote from the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Raj: Can you believe it! He watched me work for 10 minutes and than he tried to build a little piece of software that could replace me.
Leonard: Is that really possible?
Raj: As it turned out, yes.

Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex

Raj: You always do this, you know, ditch me for a woman you don't have a shot with.
Howard: I totally had a shot.
Raj: With a woman you were chasing in a park. That's not a shot, that's a felony.

Quote from the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Raj: Can I bring girls here?
Leonard: You? Sure. Bring as many as you want.
Raj: Okay, deal.
Leonard: Just not against their will.

Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Raj: Come on, dude, bros before ... my sister.

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Raj: You slipped and fell into a robotic hand.
Wolowitz: Yes.
Raj: Penis first?
Wolowitz: Yes.

Quote from the episode The Thespian Catalyst

Raj: I know the feeling. It's like accidentally walking into a gay bar and then having no one hit on you. It happened to a friend of mine.

Quote from the episode The Apology Insufficiency

Raj: I haven't cried this hard since Toy Story 3.

Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Sheldon: If this is about the night the heat went out, there's nothing to be embarassed about.
Raj: It's not about that.
Howard: We agreed to never speak of it again.
Sheldon: So we slept together naked. It was only to keep our core body temperatures from plummeting.
Howard: He's speaking about it.
Raj: For me it was a bonding moment.

Quote from the episode The Financial Permeability

Raj: If anyone cares, I still have to pee.

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