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Showing quotes 61 to 90 of 148Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Quote from the episode The Relationship Diremption

Raj: Being an astrophysicist right now is like being a rock star.
Howard: Only without the sex.
Raj: Yeah, literally none of it.

4.3

Quote from the episode The Skank Reflex Analysis

Leonard: How could you not tell me your sister was moving back to India?
Howard: Maybe he was too busy writing clumsy penis metaphors about my fiancee.
Raj: Screw you, that was a beautifully-written penis metaphor.

4.3

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Raj: (Reading Howard's tweet) I am so lonely and horny, I may open this $20 jar of peanuts and end it all.

4.3

Quote from the episode The Scavenger Vortex

Raj: If you want to solve the mystery of who stabbed Koothrappali in the back with a weapon of indifference, it was all of you!

4.3

Quote from the episode The Workplace Proximity

Raj: What started as a pap smear turned into a date, which turned into her working there, which turned into marriage, which then turned into hatred which continues to this day.

4.3

Quote from the episode The Middle-Earth Paradigm

Raj: (Talking about Howard) Oh, if only I had his confidence. I have such difficulty speaking to women, or around women, or at times even effeminate men.

4.3

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Raj: Lock up your daughters, we're going to hit it and quit it!

4.3

Quote from the episode The Santa Simulation

Raj: Oh man, the first monster I see I'm going to sneak up behind him, whip out my wand, and shoot my magic all over his ass.
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

4.3

Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization

Stuart: What did you put for your best feature?
Raj: My parents' money. What did you put for your best feature?
Stuart: I put "not applicable".

4.3

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

*Amy walks into the kitchen where Raj and Bernadette are preparing dinner*
Amy: You need any help?
Raj: Yeah, can you reach that gravy boat up there?
Amy: Sure.
Raj: Great, that makes one of you.

4.3

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Raj: Ah beer, the magic elixir that can turn this poor shy Indian boy in the life of the party ... Oh yeah!

4.2

Quote from the episode The Weekend Vortex

Raj: None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend. It was gonna be like the old days -- the four of us hanging out, playing video games, before you guys all got girlfriends. Do you have any idea what its like to the be the only one without a girlfriend? Even if I get one someday, I'll still be the guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper!

4.2

Quote from the episode The Santa Simulation

Raj: Doesn't anybody have a rod of resurection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Ok, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

4.2

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Raj: I'm telling you, dude. The only way to feel better about Penny going out with other guys is for you to get back on the whores.

4.2

Quote from the episode The Itchy Brain Simulation

Raj: This is all your fault! I should have listened to MunMun, because I've been playing with a cobra and her name is Penny! Why are you so cruel? Do you enjoy my pain?
Penny: There's a girl at the cheesecake factory I can set you up with.
Raj: I LOVE YOU PENNY!

4.2

Quote from the episode The Vengeance Formulation

Leonard: You know, when Sheldon gives you homework, you don't have to do it.
Raj: In fact, it's better if you don't. Otherwise, it makes the rest of us look bad.

4.2

Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Raj: Bad news, the Nigerian prince maybe a fraud.

4.2

Quote from the episode The Workplace Proximity

Raj: It wasn't a pyjama party. It was just a couple of bros hanging out, giggling, eating cookie dough and watching Princess Bride.,
Howard: Please stop talking.
Raj: As you wish.

4.2

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Raj: I'm glad men are wearing hats again. They are so distinguished.

4.2

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Rajesh: (Drunk) Penny dear be a lamb and shoot me another beer.
Penny: Get one yourself.
Rajesh: Ooh look's like somebody been take some bitchy pills.
Penny: God he's an ass when he drinks
Wolowitz: He's an ass when he dosen't you just don't hear it

4.2

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Amy: I can't believe Penny's married to Zack.
Raj: I wonder what she saw in that guy.
Bernadette: I don't know. He's sweet. He's tall. Handsome.
Amy: Broad shoulders. Good hair.
Raj: Hmm, I wonder what she sees in Leonard.

4.2

Quote from the episode The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary

Rajesh: What are you waiting for?! Kill Wil Wheaton! From hell's heart, stab at him!

4.2

Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Raj: And does Sheldon know you're dating Sheldon?
Amy: (To Raj) I'm sorry, who are you dating?
Raj: Yeah, knock it off, Howard.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Raj: What's wrong with people? Why don't they stop?!
Sheldon: Maybe we're better off. What if we were to get in a car with a crazy person?
Leonard: Look at us, Sheldon. We're the crazy people!

4.1

Quote from the episode The Beta Test Initiation

Raj: I can't believe I bought my soul mate at Glendale Galleria.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Weekend Vortex

Raj: I plan on leveling up in the game, not my swimsuit size, thank you very much.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Raj: Tonight I spice my meat with goblin blood!

4

Quote from the episode The Egg Salad Equivalency

Raj: I feel like I've been called down to the principal's office. Although I wouldn't mind if Brown Sugar suspended me. From a sex swing. (Looking at his flask) This may have been a mistake.

4

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Howard: What, Im not hot enough for Angelina Jolie?

Raj: Id like to weigh in here. No.

4

Quote from the episode The Closure Alternative

Raj: I do have a pretty balls-to-the-wall moisturizing regime.

4

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