Raj: I don't believe in tempting fate. Same reason I wouldn't use a ouiji board or pick a fight with an Asian guy. Probably doesn't know karate, but why risk it?

Emily: There's one downtown where they trap you in a room with a zombie.
Raj: Oh, so kinda like what's happening with Penny right now.

Raj: Okay, let's hope one of the clues is written on a pair of clean underwear.

Leonard: We spent $200 on six minutes of fun.
Raj: It's like when we bought that remote-controlled helicopter and it just flew away.

Leonard: If he's not nice, it's gonna make it hard for me to watch him in anything again.
Raj: The guy who plays Jon Snow was a jerk, we still watch Game of Thrones.
Leonard: He was a jerk because you rear-ended him.
Raj: I was distracted. It's weird seeing a member of the Night's Watch with a kayak strapped to his car.

Customer: I think you made a mistake, I'm not an actor.
Raj: Don't say that. I mean, you're not Dame Judi Dench, but you're pretty great.

Raj: I don't know why he's grumpy. I got mistaken for that guy in Life of Pi once, I'm still floating.

Raj: Hang on. If you're really Nathan Fillion, what's the line from Firefly about your bonnet?
Customer: I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.
Leonard: That's it. That's the line.
Raj: Although, I knew the line, doesn't make me Nathan Fillion.

Customer: Do you want the picture or not?
Raj: I want a picture with Nathan Fillion.
Customer: How about a picture with a guy who looks like Nathan Fillion, but a little more annoyed than Nathan Fillion usually is?
Leonard: What do you think?
Raj: Eh, it's good enough for Facebook.

Bernadette: You helped him?
Raj: No, Stuart picked out those throw pillows all on his own.

Raj: Yeah, Mrs. Wolowitz was pretty special. When I first moved to America, Howard was my only friend, and she made me feel so welcome in her home. Which says a lot, because those first few years she thought I was the gardener.

Howard: How are you today, Mr. Can You Believe These Jackasses?
Raj: Just dandy, Mr. I Wish I Was Better At Improv.

Howard: What are you doing?
Raj: I've created some other user accounts so I can post positive comments about their paper.
Howard: "This wee little bairn of a theory nearly blew my kilt off."
Raj: No, you have to read it like Dr. Angus McDougall of the University of Edinburgh would.
"This wee little bairn of a theory nearly blew my kilt off."

Sheldon: Good to see you again, Mr. Stephen Hawking Liked Our Paper.
Leonard: Oh, and you as well, Mr. Our Premise Is Intriguing.
Howard: How do you do, Mr. I'll Admit That's Pretty Cool.
Raj: Yeah, you keep setting me up for failure.

Raj: Go ahead. You can't embarrass me. I have a beautiful girlfriend and a dog who loves me so much she drinks my bathwater.