Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 36 of 38

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Quote from the episode The Date Night Variable

Stuart: A little music?
Raj: Sure. Mmm, bossa nova. You listen to that with your hips as well as your ears.
Stuart: Mmm.
Raj: Oh. Something about Latin music just makes me feel like I'm on a white sand beach in Rio.
Stuart: Yeah. The sun, the waves, the beautiful bodies, tanned and glistening with sweat.
Raj: I should go.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Howard: So, road trip to Long Beach.
Leonard: No, we're not going to Long Beach.
Raj: Why not?
Leonard: Because Sheldon doesn't have a drug addicted cousin Leopold.
Raj: Oh, too bad. I've always wanted to go to Long Beach.
Sheldon: It's a very nice community. The Queen Mary is docked there. Once the largest ocean liner in the world, it's now a hotel and restaurant where they host a surprisingly gripping murder mystery dinner.
Raj: Sounds fun.

Quote from the episode The Wildebeest Implementation

Leonard: Hi. Hey, Raj, will you be joining us for dinner?
Raj: The lonely guy and the two happy couples? I'd rather get a prostate exam from a leper who walks away with nine fingers.

Quote from the episode The Wildebeest Implementation

Priya: Oh, would you please stop feeling sorry for yourself?
Raj: I have to feel sorry for myself. I'm the only one who cares. Just like I'm the only one who'll have sex with me.
Leonard: Really? In front of your sister?
Priya: We shared a room growing up. This is not news to me.

Quote from the episode The Recombination Hypothesis

Raj: If they ever make a movie version of that book, you know who should play Leonard's mother? Sandra Bullock.
Howard: Why?
Raj: Because she's great in everything.

Quote from the episode The Love Spell Potential

Raj: Oh, Lucy's free after all. See ya.
Leonard: Hey, hey, hey. You can't leave. We just started.
Raj: You're right, I should finish the game. I take my plus-one long sword, stab myself in the face with it. I'm dead. I've got a date with a girl. Bye.

Quote from the episode The Love Spell Potential

Raj: Lucy?
Lucy: Hey, long time no see.
Raj: You don't know me very well, but each time you crawl out a bathroom window to escape my company, it chips away at my masculinity.

Quote from the episode The Spoiler Alert Segmentation

Howard: Great. Come on in.
Raj: What, you don't say thank you?
Howard: It's my suitcase. I lent it to you two years ago.
Raj: Well, then, I should tell you I broke the wheel and the handle.

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Leonard: Maybe when you walk into a hotel room and you see a guy getting back together with his girlfriend, you should consider doing something other than crawling into the adjoining bed.
Raj: I did. You said no Bridget Jones.

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Raj: Okay, I'd pick swan because the resulting hybrid would have the advanced industrial civilization of a human and the long graceful neck I've always dreamed of having.
Sheldon: Wrong.

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Raj: I think back to all the good times we had, like, uh, when we went camping and spent that night telling each other all our secrets. I told him I'm addicted to pedicures and he told me he lost his virginity to his cousin.
Howard: She was my second cousin.
Sheldon: And the first woman you ever disappointed sexually. Ba-da-bazinga!
Raj: Oh, oh, yeah, and then there was the time when Leonard and I took Howard to Las Vegas and paid a hooker to pretend she was Jewish and that she wanted his little kosher pickle. Of all the Howard humping hookers stories, that one's my favorite!

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Raj: You know, we're not that far from my apartment. If you stop the car, I can walk from here.
Bernadette: You ain't goin' anywhere, Three-way.
Howard: Bernadette, listen...
Bernadette: You lied to me. You said you told me about all the girls you've been with, but you never mentioned your cousin, the prostitute or Raj!
Raj: Seriously, you don't even have to stop the car. Anything under ten miles an hour and I can combat-roll into the street.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Insufficiency

Raj: I think you'd be pleased to hear that this morning in the parking garage I saw this oil stain on the ground that was shaped just like my ex-girlfriend, Lucy, and I didn't get upset at all.
Howard: I'm proud of you.
Raj: Well, you should be, 'cause she was looking good.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Insufficiency

Howard: Check it out. Mrs. Davis from Human Resources is here. She's probably on the lookout for sexual harassment.
Raj: Oh, great. There go my chances of being sexually harassed.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Insufficiency

Raj: I'd like to apologize for being insensitive. And for possibly making penguins seem like jerks, because 99% of them are stand-up guys.

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