Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 37 of 38

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Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Leonard: Maybe when you walk into a hotel room and you see a guy getting back together with his girlfriend, you should consider doing something other than crawling into the adjoining bed.
Raj: I did. You said no Bridget Jones.

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Raj: Okay, I'd pick swan because the resulting hybrid would have the advanced industrial civilization of a human and the long graceful neck I've always dreamed of having.
Sheldon: Wrong.

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Raj: I think back to all the good times we had, like, uh, when we went camping and spent that night telling each other all our secrets. I told him I'm addicted to pedicures and he told me he lost his virginity to his cousin.
Howard: She was my second cousin.
Sheldon: And the first woman you ever disappointed sexually. Ba-da-bazinga!
Raj: Oh, oh, yeah, and then there was the time when Leonard and I took Howard to Las Vegas and paid a hooker to pretend she was Jewish and that she wanted his little kosher pickle. Of all the Howard humping hookers stories, that one's my favorite!

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Raj: You know, we're not that far from my apartment. If you stop the car, I can walk from here.
Bernadette: You ain't goin' anywhere, Three-way.
Howard: Bernadette, listen...
Bernadette: You lied to me. You said you told me about all the girls you've been with, but you never mentioned your cousin, the prostitute or Raj!
Raj: Seriously, you don't even have to stop the car. Anything under ten miles an hour and I can combat-roll into the street.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Insufficiency

Raj: I think you'd be pleased to hear that this morning in the parking garage I saw this oil stain on the ground that was shaped just like my ex-girlfriend, Lucy, and I didn't get upset at all.
Howard: I'm proud of you.
Raj: Well, you should be, 'cause she was looking good.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Insufficiency

Howard: Check it out. Mrs. Davis from Human Resources is here. She's probably on the lookout for sexual harassment.
Raj: Oh, great. There go my chances of being sexually harassed.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Insufficiency

Raj: I'd like to apologize for being insensitive. And for possibly making penguins seem like jerks, because 99% of them are stand-up guys.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Insufficiency

Howard: Okay, fine. Let's say there was a moment.
Raj: There was.
Howard: There wasn't. But even if there was, what are you gonna do about it?
Raj: I will slowly seduce her until she falls helpless into my bed, hungry for the pleasure only I can give her.
Howard: So nothing.
Raj: No, not a thing.

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Raj: Hey, look, there's Rothman's empty office. Sad.
Leonard: Yeah.
Sheldon: Mm, indeed.
Howard: So sad.
Sheldon: Dibs.

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Raj: Would you look at this? I paid twenty five dollars to some kid on eBay for a handcrafted Harry Potter wand. He sent me a stick. He went into his backyard, he picked up a stick.
Howard: It's numbered.
Raj: Ooh, limited edition. Nice.

Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction

Raj: If you look carefully at Venus, you should be able to see the International Space Station pass by.
Lucy: Wow. Your friend was actually up there?
Raj: Yeah. He brought me back a T-shirt that said "My Friend Went to the Space Station and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt".
Lucy: Did he take the T-shirt to space?
Raj: Nope. It's exactly as lousy as advertised.

Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction

Amy: Ignore him. He's a little nervous 'cause he doesn't think I understand the severity of your social anxiety.
Raj: What the? Are you crazy? You can't talk about social anxiety to someone who has social anxiety. It makes them socially anxious!

Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Raj: Well, I think the first thing we should get rid of is that tone.

Quote from the episode The Fetal Kick Catalyst

Raj: I've been babysitting him way longer than you have.

Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision

Raj: Hey, this pregnancy had an emotionally-needy third wheel way before you came along.

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