Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 37 of 52

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Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Formulation

Raj: Leonard, I swear to God, if you sister ever comes to town, I shall have my way with her.
Leonard: my sister's thirty-eight and married.
Raj: All the more shame that will fall upon the house of Hofstadter.

Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex

Howard: I would have caught up to her if I hadn't pulled a hammy.
Raj: Oh, please, you weigh 80 pounds. You don't have a hammy.

Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex

Raj: I'm just saying, maybe if you people cut back on the beer, you could get out of the bathroom and satisfy your women without pharmaceutical help.

Quote from the episode The Cooper/Kripke Inversion

Raj: Oh, I'm not dark chocolate. I'm melt-in-your-mouth caramel.

Quote from the episode The Closet Reconfiguration

Raj: These spring rolls are amazing. Good job, Bernadette.
Bernadette: That's the takeout that Sheldon brought.
Raj: Oh, well, I'm sure they wouldn't have tasted nearly as good if I hadn't tried your food first.

Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Raj: Look at this. Do you think she's really doing that or is it PhotoShop?
Leonard: I'm pretty sure Martha Stewart never got naked with a room full of big, fat Japense guys.
Raj: You don't know that. Prison changes people.

Quote from the episode The Alien Parasite Hypothesis

Howard: First of all, if we had superpowers, I wouldn't be the sidekick. You'd be the sidekick.
Raj: Rat-Man is nobody's sidekick.

Quote from the episode The Alien Parasite Hypothesis

Howard: Let me ask you a question. What are you afraid of?
Raj: I don't know. Um, nuclear war. Accidentally being buried alive. Any of those movies where you get that phone call that says you're going to die, and then you do.
Howard: No. Something very specific that we both know you, Rajesh Koothrappali, are terrified of.
Raj: Well, type two diabetes runs in my family. The thought of losing a toe-
Howard: Spiders! You're afraid of spiders.

Quote from the episode The Einstein Approximation

Raj: Great. It's not like I brought it up because I wanted to go.
Howard: You can come with us.
Raj: No, it's okay. I don't have to go. I'm happy to guide you and your ladies to suitable entertainment choices. I'm a walking, brown Yelp.com

Quote from the episode The Agreement Dissection

Raj: Mmm, Greek food on pizza night? This is the most delightfully cruel thing we've done to Sheldon since we left that fake message from Stephen Hawking on his voice mail.

Quote from the episode The Tenure Turbulence

Raj: Born in New Delhi, the third son of an itinerant gynaecologist, I showed early signs of genius. At age five, I discovered a celestial object which later turned out to be the moon.

Quote from the episode The Terminator Decoupling

Howard: Sheldon, I owe you an apology. Taking the train was a stroke of brilliance. I've actually got a shot with a Terminator.
Raj: Oh, please. When it comes to Terminators, you've got a better shot of scoring with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Quote from the episode The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis

Raj: "Kandorian dry cleaner-" I give up, you can't have a rational argument with this man.

Quote from the episode The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis

Raj: Whoa. Humongous man crush, dude.

Quote from the episode The Griffin Equivalency

Raj: God bless that boy, I don't know what I'd do without him.
Leonard: You just got him this afternoon.
Raj: Yes, but I'm finding that having a lackey suits me.
Leonard: A lackey?
Raj: Oh, I'm sorry, is that politically incorrect? In India we just call them untouchables.

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