Howard: I'm sorry, you find this funny?
Raj: No, I was just thinking about Jurassic World. Boy, that was terrible.

Howard: Hey, I just got an e-mail from the U.S. Air Force.
Raj: Open it.
Howard: Hmm. "We request a meeting at your earliest convenience regarding your quantum guidance system, provisional patent 62/295118." That's weird.
Raj: Is there a window around here we don't know about?
Howard: I'm sure it's just a coincidence.
Raj: Yeah, of course. What else could it be? (loudly) Boy, do I love America!

Sheldon: What about Joss Whedon's work makes you think he'd be okay with rule-breakers and line-cutters?
Guy: The Avengers are rule-breakers. Being vengeful is in their job description.
Sheldon: They work for SHIELD, which is a sanctioned department of the U.S. Government. Do you work for a sanctioned department of the U.S. Government?
Guy: As a matter of fact I do. At a little place called the DMV.
Raj: He's got him there. The D even stands for department.

Raj: Boy, all this standing's making me tired. Good thing I brought my collapsible stick chair.
Howard: Not the stick chair. You look like an idiot on that thing.
Raj: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chairs on sticks are comfy.

Claire: Hey, Raj.
Raj: Hey, Claire. Good, you're here. Guys, this is my friend Claire. We're casually dating, and there's no need for any further questions about it.
Leonard: Would you like a glass of wine?
Raj: I said no questions.

Amy: Hey, Penny, isn't that your old boyfriend Zack?
Penny: Oh, yeah.
Amy: Are you gonna say hi to him?
Penny: Um, I don't know.
Raj: Hey, while you decide, who was better in bed, big hot Zack or wheezy little Leonard? Neener-neener.

Raj: Hey, you think it'd be okay if I brought Claire to the wine tasting?
Leonard: Sure. I'd like to meet her.
Raj: Oh, thats great. I've been wanting her to meet you guys, too, so this seems like the perfect opportunity.
Sheldon: Oh, but I won't be there.
Raj: Funny how that worked out.

Raj: Hey, Claire.
Claire: Hey, what's up?
Raj: Hi, yeah. Um, I was wondering, if you're free Saturday night, all my friends are going to a wine tasting.
Claire: Sure, I guess. If you don't think meeting your friends is too big a step.
Raj: Why would it be too big a step?
Claire: I don't know. I just don't want things to get weird.
Raj: Nothing to worry about. People meet people all the time, and it isn't weird. I met Bon Jovi once, which you'd think might be weird. Turns out, total sweetheart.
Claire: Okay, but you and I have been keeping things casual. Uh, will you introduce me as your friend or as your girlfriend? What if I like them and they don't like me? What if they like me and I don't like them?
Raj: Boy, it wasn't this hard with Bon Jovi. I said you rock, he said "Thanks, man," and that was that.

Raj: You know, if you think about it, tonight was kind of like a real-life Game of Thrones.
Amy: How?
Raj: Well, Howard eating that pistachio was like when King Joffrey got poisoned.
Penny: Okay, well, that was murder, this was an accident.
Raj: Okay. But you using Sheldon to do your dirty work is like when Cersei used the Kings Guard to do her bidding.
Sheldon: Cersei uses her body to manipulate men. Penny just takes me to The LEGO Store.
Raj: Okay. Oh, how about this? Stuart's dressed like a brother of the Night's Watch, and they don't have sex.
Penny: There you go.
Leonard: That's true.
Sheldon: Fair enough.

Raj: Hey, did I say something to upset you?
Howard: No, I'm fine.
Raj: Really? Because usually we walk side by side, and I just went up two flights of stairs staring at your bottom.

Raj: Okay, I think I see what's happening here. You're jealous of me.
Howard: Oh, please. What could you possibly have that I would be jealous of?
Raj: It's not what I have, it's how many people I'm having it with.

Howard: If it's a girl, I mean, they're so innocent and you know how guys are.
Raj: Totally, guys are the worst. I mean, look at me. I let Emily make me a frittata and I kept the leftovers in Claires fridge that night. I'm such a dog.

Howard: There you go again.
Raj: I'm sorry, have I been complaining about it too much?
Howard: Actually, what you're doing is pretending to complain, but really trying to brag.
Raj: How could you say that?
Howard: (imitating Raj) Oh, I wish could enjoy a cup of tea without a naked girl bouncing up and down on me.
Raj: I never said that.
Howard: (imitating Raj) Don't you hate it when you can't remember whose bra it is you found wedged in your couch?
Raj: Okay, that I said. But that's a real problem. You give a girl another woman's bra, and you will not be having sex with her that night. Maybe the other girl, but not her.

Raj: But, dude, you're so lucky. Getting to stay home at night with the woman you love.
Howard: I guess I am lucky.
Raj: You are, because dating two women, I mean, I can't even remember the last time I slept in my own apartment. I wake up and I'm like, am I at Claire's or am I at Emily's? Is there a third girl I've forgotten about? Like, where am I?

Raj: Hey, how's the mommy-to-be?
Bernadette: Good. A little tired.
Raj: I feel you. I've been dating multiple women.