Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 4 of 38

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Quote from the episode The Tangerine Factor

Raj: Incredible. You managed to screw up the screw up.

Quote from the episode The Pirate Solution

Leonard: I've always been a little confused about this. Why don't Hindus eat beef?
Raj: We believe cows are gods.
Sheldon: Not technically. In Hinduism, cattle are thought to be like God.
Raj: Do not tell me about my own culture, Sheldon! In the mood I'm in, I'll take you out, I swear to cow!

Quote from the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion

Sheldon: How is Deep Space 9 better than Saturn 3?
Raj: Simple subtraction will tell you it's six better.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Raj: Come on! You know I can't talk to women unless I'm lit up like the Hindu festival of Diwali.

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Raj: You slipped and fell into a robotic hand.
Wolowitz: Yes.
Raj: Penis first?
Wolowitz: Yes.

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Rajesh: You know there's something I've always wondered about Aquaman
Leonard: Yeah?
Rajesh: Where does he poop?
Leonard: What?
Rajesh: What do the toilet look like in Atlantis? How would you flush it? And when you did flush it, where would the poop go?

Quote from the episode The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification

Raj: I'm a lamb!

Quote from the episode The Dumpling Paradox

Raj: Not only are there thousands of people starving in India, there's an Indian starving right here!

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Leonard: I'd suggest using some lubricant, but I have a feeling you fell on that as well.
Howard: Not funny, Leonard.
Raj: Oh, come on, dude. A robot hand's got a death grip on your junk. It's funny. Ask anyone.

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Howard's mom: Howard, I made cookies for you and your little friends.
Howard: That's great, mom. Thanks.
Howard's mom: I'll bring them up with some Hawaiian Punch.
Howard: *startled* Don't come up here!
Howard's mom: Why not? Are you ashamed of your mother?
Howard: Yes, but that's not the point. Get me out of here!
Leonard: Do you have any ideas, Raj?
Raj: Right now all I can think about is cookies and Hawaiian Punch.

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Raj: Oh, you're so arrogant. If you were a super hero your name would be Captain Arrogant. And do you know what your super power would be? Arrogance.

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Raj: This is not over!

Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation

Raj: Oh Leonard, you remind me of the funny old story of the man who walks into a Women's Correctional Facility with a stack of paperwork that would allow the female convicts to go free.
Leonard: You're saying I couldn't get laid in woman's prison with a handful of pardons.
Raj: Are you going to let me tell the story or not?

Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation

Raj: Ok, two words. Deaf chick. It doesn't matter if I can't talk because she can't hear me.
Leonard: What?
Raj: That's what she said.

Quote from the episode The Griffin Equivalency

Raj: Boy, I bet Ellen Page's friends aren't giving her this kind of crap!

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