Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 1 of 156

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Quote from the episode The Financial Permeability

Sheldon: Leonard fairly calls the question, who is in favor of abandoning our game and confronting Penny's steroid-infused ex-boyfriend in a suicidal mission to extract money from him?
Say hi to Kurt for us.
Leonard: Excuse me. When Frodo left the Shire to take the one ring to Mordor, didn't Samwise, Pippin and Merry go with him?
Sheldon: They did.
Leonard: Well?
Sheldon: They had a terrible time of it, Leonard.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: Because there's only one of me, I'm more valuable.
Penny: Right.
Sheldon: Although, Amy's already taken me out of my package and played with me.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: Okay, let's try this. Think of yourself as one of those limited edition toys people like to collect.
Sheldon: I already do.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Amy: In fact, that's when I started to really miss you.
Sheldon: You know you just split an infinitive.
Amy: Did I? Are you gonna teach me a lesson?
Sheldon: I am. It is naughty to put an adverb between the word "to" and the verb stem.
Amy: What are you gonna do about it?
Sheldon: I'm going to admonish you.
Amy: Vigorously?
Sheldon: That's the only kind of admonishing I do.

Quote from the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Sheldon: All right, then. Let's go to the bedroom, remove our clothes, fold them neatly, and engage in frenzied lovemaking.
Amy: What if we don't fold our clothes at all.
Sheldon: I d- ... or what if we fold them?

Quote from the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Sheldon: Leonard pointed out to me that I'm not always a loving and supportive boyfriend, so here's some quality luggage.
Amy: Thank you.
Sheldon: The salesman said it could survive a plane crash, so perhaps you should fly inside it.

Quote from the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Amy: Do you think it's possible you might enjoy being on your own for a little while?
Sheldon: It's hard to say. I've never really lived by myself. What if I become strange and eccentric?
Amy: I'll love you no matter what.
Sheldon: Howard Hughes saved his urine in milk bottles.
Amy: We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Quote from the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Penny: Champagne, champagne, and for the world's tallest second grader, apple juice.
Sheldon: No bendy straw? Some party.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Sheldon: Physicist, baker, lover, what can't I do?

Quote from the episode The Recollection Dissipation

Sheldon: What? You hold my hand, you kiss my mouth, but you draw the line at 102 fever? What happened to our love?

Quote from the episode The Recollection Dissipation

Sheldon: My pants are missing, I don't remember anything. Penny, this is your youth. What do I do?

Quote from the episode The Recollection Dissipation

Sheldon: You know, I felt the same way about the spork. Uh, solids and liquids handled by one utensil? That'll never work. Spoiler: works.

Quote from the episode The Recollection Dissipation

Sheldon: Yeah, I felt the same way about the platypus. You know, bird and mammal in the same creature? No way. And spoiler: way.

Quote from the episode The Separation Agitation

Sheldon: She's younger and far more attractive than he is. They're copying you two.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Fluctuation

Amy: Wait, are you saying if we combine my experiment with your calculations, we can determine the precise moment in time when the wave function collapses?
Sheldon: It could be the most inspired combination since I mixed red Icee into my blue Icee. It was like drinking 2/7ths of the rainbow.
Amy: Sheldon, this is really interesting.
Sheldon: Yeah and this one won't stain my teeth purple.

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