Sheldon: I'm working on the Star Wars day schedule. Now, I have a window built in, after Phantom Menace, for complaining. But I'm worried an hour won't be enough time.

Sheldon: You know what this is? And I reserve this word for those instances when it's truly reserved. This is malarkey.

Sheldon: Why do we have a geology book? Leonard, did you throw a children's party while I was in Texas?

Howard: Anyway, she broke up with him and she's basically been alone ever since. She never said it, but I always felt I was the reason why.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. Although, based on your story, you absolutely were the reason why.

Howard: I'm an astronaut and you know it. You just don't like admitting it because you're jealous.
Sheldon: Well, truth be told, as a child I did dream of going to space. Those astronauts were my heroes. And when you got to go, it was hard for me.
Howard: Thank you.
Sheldon: Because it made me realize they'll just send anyone up there.

Howard: What now?
Sheldon: I have to go to the bathroom.
Howard: You just went to the bathroom.
Sheldon: But I didn't use it because it didn't seem safe. Despite all my emails, the toilet didn't have a seatbelt.
Howard: Well, it still doesn't.
Sheldon: I realize that but safety concerns went out the window two apple juices ago.

Sheldon: I had the same feeling when I made my dad buy a betamax instead of a VHS.
Amy: You were just a little kid.
Sheldon: A little kid who picked the wrong format to record the MacNeil/Lehrer Report.

Sheldon: I also was certain HD-DVD would win out over Blu-ray.
Amy: How old were you then?
Sheldon: Old enough to know better!

Sheldon: Leonard, could you wrap it up? We're waiting on you.
Penny: I'm sorry, is the fact my life's falling apart interfering with your board game?
Sheldon: It is.
*Sheldon goes back into the apartment*
Sheldon: You were wrong, Friend Howard. She completely understood.

Sheldon: Remember the old days when I would point out that your check engine light is out?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Well, get ready to stroll down memory lane. Penny, your check engine light is on.

Sheldon: This seemed so elegant at the time, but now I realize I was just a dumb country boy seduced by a big city theory with variables in all the right places.

Sheldon: As hard as this is I have to move on. I can't keep postulating multi-dimensional entities and get nothing in return. I have needs too!

Sheldon: Ten years ago upon first seeing me, your husband claimed that I looked like C3P0 and Peewee Herman. And he called me C3Peewee Herman.

Sheldon: If I wanted to waste my time on nonsense, I'd follow Leonard on Instagram.

Penny: Hey, maybe the answer to your career question is in one of these.
Sheldon: Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that's solves life's problems and that's an Oreo. Or a nutterbutter if you're in a pinch.