Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 128 of 262
Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment
Sheldon: Okay, I know you're texting about me and I'd really like you to stop.
Quote from the episode The Hook-Up Reverberation
Leonard: You didn't lose anyone when you met Amy.
Sheldon: The study refers to romantic partners. That's not the way I would categorize the two of us.
Quote from the episode The Relaxation Integration
Amy: Are you sure that's what you want?
Sheldon: As sure as I'm about to go bathe in Purell.
Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology
Bert: Sheldon, you left your jacket in my office last night.
Sheldon: Uh, oh. No-no, I didn't. That's-that's not my jacket.
Leonard: Then why does it say, "Property of S. Cooper. Stop touching it."?
Sheldon: It sounds like someone named Scooper doesn't want you touching his jacket.
Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay
Leonard: See, the liquid metal Terminators were created in the future by Skynet, and Skynet was developed by Miles Dyson, but that future no longer exists due to Dyson's death in Terminator 2.
Sheldon: Okay, then riddle me this. Assuming all the good Terminators were originally evil Terminators created by Skynet but then reprogrammed by the future John Connor, why would Skynet, an artificial computer intelligence, bother to create a petite hot 17 year-old killer robot?
Leonard: Skynet is kinky? I don't know.
Sheldon: Artificial intelligences do not have teen fetishes.
Quote from the episode The Platonic Permutation
Sheldon: Oh, and forget what I said about the Myanmar catfish. My list of marine-themed pilgrim facts is pretty short.
Amy: Did you know they served shellfish and eel at the very first Thanksgiving?
Sheldon: And there goes my list.
Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay
Leonard: Do you have a cousin Leopold?
Sheldon: No, I made him up. I think you'd call him Lee.
Leonard: I don't get it. I already told her a lie. Why replace it with a different lie?
Sheldon: Well, first of all, your lie was laughably transparent, where mine is exquisitely convoluted. While you were sleeping I was weaving an un-unravelable web.
Leonard: un-unravelable?
Sheldon: Yes, if she Googles "Leopold Houston" she'll find a Facebook page, an online blog depicting his descent into drug use, and a desperate yet hopeful listing on e-Harmony.com.
Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision
Leonard: Sheldon, I know what you did, now change the password back.
Sheldon: Well, powder me in sugar and call me a donut, if it isn't Leonard Hofstadter.
Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation
Sheldon: I'm so proud of you.
Amy: And I'm proud of you.
Sheldon: Because you can't tell how jealous I am?
Amy: No, no, no. I can. But I can tell how hard you're trying to keep it in.
Sheldon: Really hard.
Amy: I'm gonna go to bed.
Sheldon: All right, I'm gonna go scream on the roof.
Quote from the episode The Escape Hatch Identification
Sheldon: Beverly believes I unconsciously consider my old room an escape hatch.
Amy: Is that bothering you?
Sheldon: Yes. I don't care for unconscious thoughts. My brain and I are best friends. It should tell me everything.
Amy: I mean, how it relates to our relationship, not the bromance between you and your brain.
Quote from the episode The Infestation Hypothesis
Leonard: You know, some people might say that it's great that we're trying to make things work long distance. They'd say things like, love is stronger than the miles between you.
Sheldon: When I rise to power, those people will be sterilized.
Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology
Amy: I'm just saying, if you think the work is interesting, nothing else should matter.
Sheldon: You're right, Amy. That is sage advice. Which is surprising, considering your momma is so dumb, she-
Amy: (Gets up and leaves) Nope.
Sheldon: (After Amy's gone) She studied for a urine test. (chuckles)
Quote from the episode The Convention Conundrum
Howard: T-60 seconds.
Raj: Oh, it all comes down it this.
Leonard: I've got butterflies!
Sheldon: Don't get soft on me, Hofstadter. I will slap those glasses right off your face.
Quote from the episode The Love Spell Potential
Sheldon: I've never knocked on my own door before. That was a wild ride.
Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion
Howard: You and Amy having fun planning your wedding?
Sheldon: We're employing a mathematical approach called decision theory, so, heck, yeah.
Leonard: Heck, yeah? Looks like someone need to put a dollar in the almost-swear jar.
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