Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 130 of 262

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Quote from the episode The Allowance Evaporation

Amy: I'm not sleeping on the couch 'cause you don't know what's private and what's not.
Sheldon: This isn't fair. You've discussed aspects of our physical relationship with Penny.
Amy: That's different! She's a close friend, not the lady in the cafeteria who cuts the crust off your sandwiches!
Sheldon: That lady has a name. I don't know what it is, but one time, I accidentally called her "Mom".

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Sheldon: As I have explained repeatedly, unlike you, I don't need validation from lesser minds. No offense.
Leonard: Really, so why did you come?
Sheldon: Because I knew you’d screw this up.
Leonard: I didn't screw it up.
Sheldon: Oh, please. I admit, that spherical chicken joke, that was hilarious. But it was straight downhill from there.

Quote from the episode The Locomotion Reverberation

Sheldon: And guess where we get to sleep? Our choice of a turn-of-the-century railway bunkhouse or a working caboose. Now, the problem with a caboose is there's no bathroom, but the problem with the bunkhouse is it's not a caboose.

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Sheldon: Were you trying to impress Penny?
Leonard: No, no not at all. ... A little bit.
Sheldon: How'd that work out for you?
Penny: (entering the apartment) Leonard, ready to go?
Sheldon: Libido 1, Truth 0.

Quote from the episode The Mystery Date Observation

Sheldon: All I'm looking for is an educated, intelligent woman who shares my interests while retaining her own unique point of view. She should be kind, patient, and most important, unable to imagine life without me by 10:00 tonight.
Howard: Isn't that a little unreasonable?
Sheldon: All right, fine, she doesn't need her own point of view. Now, chop chop.

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Leonard: Excuse me, I designed the experiment that proved the hypothesis.
Sheldon: It doesn't need proving.
Leonard: So the entire scientific community is just supposed to take your word?
Sheldon: They're not supposed to, but they should.

Quote from the episode The Sales Call Sublimation

Raj: Fine, you want something to do? There's about six months of data on this hard drive.
Why don't you go through it and see if you can spot any patterns or anomalies.
Sheldon: Yep, I'm on it. Hey, look at that! An Indian guy outsourcing a computer job to a white fella.

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Leonard: Okay, let me put it this way, I'm doing it.
Sheldon: You can't. I'm the lead author.
Leonard: Oh, come on. The only reason you're the lead author is because we went alphabetically.
Sheldon: I let you think we went alphabetically to spare you the humiliation of dealing with the fact that it was my idea. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I was throwing you a bone. You're welcome.

Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization

Sheldon: Alright, I'm mad at you. Not only did you ruin Raiders for me, you might have ruined the whole franchise. Except for the fourth one, which was bad before you got your mitts on it.

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Sheldon: Well, how about this? For $100,000, I will design the flag of your house or apartment. And for $1 million, I will come over and tell you what's wrong with you.
Leonard: Aw, and all these years, I've been getting that for free.
Sheldon: Don't be smug, Leonard. That's one of the things that's wrong with you.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Raj: This baby's got a ten-inch diameter with f/10 ACF optics.
Howard: And tonight Mercury is at its highest elongation.
Sheldon: It makes far-away things seem close, and Mercury is a planet.
Penny: I know Mercury is a planet. But the-the other thing was helpful.

Quote from the episode The Wedding Gift Wormhole

Amy: Is it from one of your dumb sci-fi shows?
Sheldon: Uh, none of the sci-fi shows I watch are dumb.
Amy: Sheldon.
Sheldon: Okay, Westworld. But this has nothing to do with that show, other than it's also inexplicable.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Sheldon: Well, I hope you're hungry.
Amy: Oh, I'm starving.
Sheldon: Oh, good. Starvation is authentic to the time period. If you also have malaria and a deep distrust of Native Americans, we're really cooking with a woodstove.

Quote from the episode The Explosion Implosion

Howard: Then why don't you ever drive yourself?
Sheldon: Honestly, I barely passed my test. And the one time I drove on my own, I made a U-turn, got dizzy, threw up and walked home.
Howard: You really want to drive?
Sheldon: It seems like the perfect time. The roads are straight, there's no one around, and you don't seem to care if you live or die.
Howard: Live, Sheldon. I want to live.
Sheldon: That makes things a little trickier, but I'll do my best.

Quote from the episode The Comic-Con Conundrum

Amy: Sounds like everyone's staying home. What do you say?
Sheldon: Nuts to that, I'm going to Comic-Con!
Amy: By yourself?
Sheldon: Not necessarily. I have four months to find some new friends.
Stuart: I'll go with you.
Sheldon: That's very kind of you, Stuart. Check back in with me in July.

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