Leonard: Uh, so, Ramona, tell us about yourself. Do you, do you have a boyfriend?
Sheldon: Leonard, your wife is sitting right here. What are you doing?

Bernadette: What are you going to get at the train store, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm not buying anything. They're having a lecture. H-O gauge railroading. Half the size of O-gauge, but twice the fun. Very controversial topic.
Howard: Which side do you come down on?
Sheldon: I'll let you know after tonight. Unlike some people, I'm going in with an open mind. Who am I kidding? Of course we all know it's O-gauge or no gauge.

Howard: Then why don't you ever drive yourself?
Sheldon: Honestly, I barely passed my test. And the one time I drove on my own, I made a U-turn, got dizzy, threw up and walked home.
Howard: You really want to drive?
Sheldon: It seems like the perfect time. The roads are straight, there's no one around, and you don't seem to care if you live or die.
Howard: Live, Sheldon. I want to live.
Sheldon: That makes things a little trickier, but I'll do my best.

Bernadette: Did you do the laundry?
Sheldon: I sure did. Ooh, he's gonna be steamed. Just like his dress shirts.

Leonard: Oh, I've got something. I'm being interviewed on public radio this Friday.
Howard: Oh, cool. How come?
Leonard: Uh, the university is trying to get more funding for the physics department, so they want me to go out and talk it up.
Sheldon: Really? You? (Amy whispers to Sheldon) Well, they picked the right person for the job.
Leonard: Thank you.
Sheldon: (To Amy) I think he bought it.

Sheldon: Oh, but I do have several bottles of Romulan ale that I bought at Comic-Con.
Leonard: Isn't that just vodka with blue dye in it?
Sheldon: First, physics, now Romulan ale. What else would you like to defecate on?

Penny: So you guys are upset because the collider thing disproved your theories?
Leonard: It's worse than that. It hasn't found anything in years, so we don't know if we're right, we don't know if we're wrong. We don't know where to go next.
Sheldon: All I know is it looks like I tongue-kissed Avatar.

Amy: I couldn't help but wonder if it meant something.
Sheldon: Well, it doesn't.
Amy: Are you sure? I mean, the prefrontal cortex regulates impulse control. So it's plausible that when we're asleep, aspects of our personality that we repress might come out.
Sheldon: Don't try to put science lipstick on your New Age pig! And for the record, you make noises when you sleep, and I've never accused you of repressing your inner chainsaw.

Amy: Are you sure that's what you want?
Sheldon: As sure as I'm about to go bathe in Purell.

Leonard: Six two inch dowels.
Sheldon: Check.
Leonard: One package, Phillips head screws.
Sheldon: Check.
Penny: Guys, seriously, I grew up on a farm, okay. I rebuilt a tractor engine when I was like twelve. I think I can put together a cheap Swedish media center.
Leonard: No, please. We insist, it's the least we can do considering.
Sheldon: Considering what? How great this place looks?

Penny: Well, uh, it looked pretty good in the store.
Leonard: It is an inefficient design. For example, Penny has a flat screen TV, which means all the space behind it is wasted.
Sheldon: We could put her stereo back there.
Leonard: And control it how?
Sheldon: Run an infra-red repeater, photocell here, emitter here, easy peasy.

Howard: You know what? Forget the past. What do you say you and me build this rocket?
Sheldon: That sounds like it could be a real bonding experience for us.
Howard: Right?
Sheldon: Oh, I see. Oh, you think that's a positive.

Leonard: Hey, you can always reshoot it.
Sheldon: Mm, I suppose. And, you know, maybe I could even get some tips from someone who's acted professionally.
Penny: Oh. Sheldon, obviously, I'd be happy to help you out.
Sheldon: I don't know what to say.

Sheldon: Come on. How many times have we banded together to try to save a show that we loved? Let's shake things up and try to kill one.

Leonard: Isn't the important thing that there's a show to get kids excited about science?
Sheldon: Who cares about kids and what they like? This is about me and something I liked when ... when I was a kid.