Sheldon: You're gonna enjoy this. I designed it especially for you.
Bernadette: Okay, but just for a little bit.
Sheldon: Oh, I have a feeling that once you start, you're not gonna want to or be allowed to stop.

Bernadette: Okay, I guess I should eat the Hell Prawn.
Sheldon: Using your sword, you prepare a beautiful sushi dinner. You slip into the hot spring and enjoy the warm water on your aching joints. As you happily close your eyes, you recall the incredible evening you've had and notice that your feet and ankles are smaller than they've ever been. The end.

Sheldon: You're really going without me?
Leonard: It's not a big deal. Go shopping with Amy, and we'll save a spot in line for you.
Sheldon: You don't have the authority to save places in the line. If I do that, I'll be cutting.
Leonard: People do it all the time.
Sheldon: You know the golden rule of line etiquette. No cuts, no buts, no coconuts.

Leonard: Hey, how'd it go?
Sheldon: It went well. Yeah, I've learned that if you never say you're sorry, the times you do really puts them on their heels. Uh, Stuart, I relieve you of your line duties.

Sheldon: Excuse me.
Leonard: Oh, please don't.
Sheldon: Uh, uh, I couldn't help but notice that you cut the line.
Guy: Oh, uh, I'm with my friends. It's cool.
Sheldon: Well, no. It's not cool. If there were reserved seating, and we all had tickets, that would be fine. But this line is first-come, first-served. Not show up tardy and nevertheless be first served. Right here.
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: You need to go to the back of the line.
Guy: Uh, who made you line monitor?
Sheldon: Mrs. Wunch in fourth grade. And my slogan was a line that's straight is a line thats great.

Penny: And yes, you love correcting people and putting them down.
Sheldon: Au contraire. When I correct people I am raising them up. You should know, I do it for you more than anyone.
Penny: Come on, you do it to feel superior. I see that twinkle in your eye when someone says who instead of whom or thinks the moon is a planet.
Sheldon: Or Don Quixote is a book about a donkey named Hotay.
Penny: See, there it is, there's that twinkle.
Sheldon: Well, I can't help it. That's an involuntary twinkle.

Penny: You know what? It's none of my business. If you want to sleep with Sheldon's doctor buddy right after we stopped seeing each other, go for it.
Leonard: Well, now...
Sheldon: Excuse me. I'm uncomfortable with you recommending that Leonard pursue having intercourse with Dr. Plimpton, who I assure you has better things to do.
Penny: I'm not recommending it. I'm saying it already happened.
Sheldon: That's preposterous. Tell her, Leonard.
Leonard: Well...
Sheldon: No.
Leonard: Come on. It wasn't my fault.
Sheldon: The implication being that you somehow tripped and fell into her lady parts?

Leonard: So this button here will allow you to scan a new equation, but over here, you can press this and just substitute new values for the coefficients.
Sheldon: Good one, boss.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: This diagram. I assume you were opening with a joke. It certainly buoyed up this employee's esprit de corps.
Leonard: It's not a joke. It's the real design.
Sheldon: In that case, may I offer 27 little tweaks to make it slightly less embarrassing?

Penny: Alright, remember when I auditioned for that workshop production of Rent, but I didn't get it and I couldn't figure out why?
Sheldon: I have a conclusion based on an observation.
Leonard: No, you don't. No he doesn't.

Sheldon: Never mind. I clearly woke you up in the middle of a REM cycle. You're in no state to talk.

Sheldon: Remember how Leonard told you we couldn't come to your performance because we were attending a symposium on molecular positronium?
Penny: I remember symposium.
Sheldon: Yes, well, he lied.
Penny: Wait, what?
Sheldon: He lied, and I'm feeling very uncomfortable about it.
Penny: Well imagine how I'm feeling.
Sheldon: Hungry? Tired? I'm sorry this really isn't my strong suit.

Leonard: You told her I lied? Why would you tell her I lied?
Sheldon: To help you.
Leonard: I'm sorry, I'm not seeing the help.
Sheldon: She was going to see through your lie eventually, so I told her that you were lying to protect me.
Leonard: Oh, I'm getting a bad feeling.
Sheldon: Hunger? Indigestion? I'm sorry. I'm really not very good at this.

Leonard: Okay. Why would I go to a drug intervention for your cousin?
Sheldon: Ah, because it's in Long Beach, and I don't drive.
Leonard: We're going to Long Beach?
Sheldon: No, of course not. Theres no cousin Leo, theres no intervention. Focus, Leonard.

Sheldon: No. We're going with middle child and a generic predisposition to inadequate serotonin production.
Toby: Swell, how do I play genetic predisposition?
Sheldon: Sub-textually, of course.

Leonard: Obviously, when I saw that you were in ours, I went and used another one.
Sheldon: Where?
Leonard: The gas station across the street.
Sheldon: In your pajamas?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Without shoes?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: On a cold winter's night?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Seems unlikely. Did you bring your asthma inhaler?
Leonard: Uh, uh, uh. Yes, I did!
Sheldon: Well, then, I guess it's plausible.