Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 148 of 262

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Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Alfred Hofstadter:: If I may, I can assure you, your mother and I did nothing more than share a cab and a conversation.
Sheldon: Did that conversation include the phrase "your genitals are a joy to behold"?

Quote from the episode The Fetal Kick Catalyst

Sheldon: Let's say that we were to entertain people. What type of gathering did you have in mind? Huh? A meal? Lunch? Brunch? Dinner? Afternoon tea? A formal tea? Hmm? Is it a party? And if so, what kind of party? Is it a cocktail party? A Tupperware party? Ooh, yeah, is it a surprise party? Oh, I hope it's not a West Coast party, 'cause according to the man on the radio, a West Coast party don't stop.

Quote from the episode The Geology Elevation

Sheldon: I can't believe I was surpassed by a geologist. I mean rocks! He studies rocks! If rock is so great, how come paper beats it?

Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision

Sheldon: He's expecting a newspaper in the morning. Apparently, they still make them.

Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision

Leonard: All right, I tried.
Sheldon: "All right, I tried." That should be the title of your autobiography. Ooh, a second-degree burn.

Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Sheldon: Well, I believe we were kissing like randy teenagers, and your nose was whistling ever so slightly.
Amy: I'm sorry.
Sheldon: Oh, don't be. You were like a foxy tea kettle.

Quote from the episode The Holiday Summation

Amy: You know, there's a chance she might be okay with it.
Sheldon: Eh, I don't know. I am her precious little boy. And you did take my flower.

Quote from the episode The Locomotion Reverberation

Sheldon: Leonard, in the world of theoretical physics, you never finish; so much is unprovable.
But when I was studying that railway guide, it was so tangible and so satisfying that something just clicked. Then it clacked. Then it clicked, then it clacked, click-clack clickety-clack, and here we are. Whoo-whoo!

Quote from the episode The Allowance Evaporation

Sheldon: Well, wait. This is our first fight as a couple who live together.
Amy: So?
Sheldon: I'm not sure of the protocol. Television teaches us that the man's supposed to sleep on the couch, but of the two of us, you're clearly more sofa-sized.
Amy: I'm not sleeping on the couch 'cause you don't know what's private and what's not.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Fluctuation

Sheldon: Things have been going really well with the infinite resistance gyroscope.
Amy: That's great. How so?
Sheldon: Oh, the project is classified. I can't tell you. Oh, I suppose I could redact the classified parts. All right, um, I came up with an elegant solution to the (honks horn). I used the (honks horn) And then I (honks horn) And that did it. (honks horn)

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Sheldon: Leonard, you and I have our ups and downs. But I have always considered you my family. Even before the recent threat of our parents fornicating like wrinkly old rabbits. I don't always show it, but you are of great importance to me. Both of you.

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Leonard: Where did you go to school?
Colonel Williams: MIT.
Howard: Well, hey, me, too.
Colonel Williams: I should have known. Behind every great invention is an MIT mind.
(Sheldon gasps, but controls himself)

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Penny: Something happen at the meeting?
Sheldon: They made me promise I wouldn't talk.
Penny: And you talked?
Sheldon: Well, now, see? You knew what was gonna happen. Why didn't they?

Quote from the episode The Military Miniaturization

Penny: Well, if it makes you feel any better, Bernadette's mad at me, too.
Sheldon: Mmm. If it makes you feel any better, a parasitoid wasp known as Oobius depressus has been rediscovered after 101 years of presumed extinction.
Penny: Why would that make me feel better?
Sheldon: Why would your Bernadette thing make me feel better? At least mine was educational.

Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Howard: Hey, hey, hey, you're not going anywhere.
Leonard: We only have two months to deliver this to the Air Force because of you.
Sheldon: (yawning) I know, I was there.
Howard: Well, wake up! We're gonna put in a lot of late nights.
Sheldon: How late?
Howard: Well, I don't know, midnight, one.
Sheldon: One o'clock? I'm not a raccoon.

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