Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 149 of 262

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Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Sheldon: Gentlemen, I am ready to work. To quote The Martian, "Let's science the feces out of this!" That's "The Martian" the book and "The Martian" the movie, not Marvin the Martian. Although to quote Marvin the Martian, "I claim this planet in the name of Mars."

Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Howard: Why don't you just go home?
Sheldon: No, I can do this. I just, I just need another energy drink.
Oh, no.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I want another one.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: That's a craving. That's a sign of chemical dependency.

Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Sheldon: All right, I'll just toss this out to the room. Um, I was thinking that the best way to fight my addiction is by weaning myself off in steps.
Now, I couldn't find a caffeine patch, but I did find what claims to be a mind-boosting caffeine suppository. Yeah, you know, there's an interesting fact about the rectum--
Leonard: Sheldon!

Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Leonard: Sheldon! We are dealing with an impossible deadline from the Air Force because of you. So have an energy drink, don't have an energy drink. Order suppositories and shove 'em wherever you want, I don't care!
Sheldon: You don't shove them. They come with an easy-glide applicator.

Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Leonard: Um, I don't really know how to say this.
Colonel Williams: Well, you could try starting with "sir".
Leonard: Right. Sorry, sir.
Sheldon: He said start with it, not end with it.

Quote from the episode The Dependence Transcendence

Leonard: All right, pressure's off.
Howard: Wanna see a movie?
Sheldon: Popcorn's on me.

Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Amy: So, is that a yes?
Sheldon: Not yet. How will I learn if I'm comfortable living with Amy or just comfortable because I'm in my own apartment? Now, if this experiment is going to be valid, I suggest a neutral environment.
Penny: Where would you go?
Sheldon: Well, ideally, an enclosed, self-sustaining biodome in New Mexico. Where we would eat crops fertilized with our own waste.

Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Penny: You know, I'm very proud of you for trying to live with Amy.
Sheldon: Oh, thank you. Of course, the ideal way to conduct this experiment would be with four pairs of identical Sheldons and Amys. One pair that was neither dating nor living together. One pair that was dating but not living together. One pair that was living together but not dating. And then, of course, one pair that was living together and dating. Although, with that many Sheldons, it'd be such a party, we'd never get anything done.
Penny: That was a cute story.

Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Penny: So, uh, what did you want to ask me?
Sheldon: Well, you've lived with your significant other for some time. I would like this experiment to go well. Are there any insights you can share?
Penny: Mm. Well, the biggie is, if she has an insane roommate, kick him out as soon as possible.
Sheldon: You know, Leonard and I were very happy before you came along.

Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Sheldon: Enjoy having the place to yourselves.
Leonard: You enjoy your mission to boldly go where no man has gone before.
Sheldon: It's Penny's bedroom. Plenty of men have gone before.

Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Amy: Sheldon? I know we took coitus off the table, but I was wondering how you feel about other forms of intimacy, such as snuggling.
Sheldon: Well, it's funny you should ask, because I was wondering how you'd feel about separating the two of us with a pillow wall.

Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Sheldon: Well, as a male, I have an evolutionary drive to perpetuate my DNA. Restricting myself to a single partner is against my nature.
Amy: We sleep together once a year! You want other partners?
Sheldon: Don't blame me. Blame your pal, biology. He's the pervert pulling the strings here.

Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Penny: Well, who you gonna hit on? The girl in front of us got strawberry. That's your favorite.
Sheldon: No. No, if we both like it, I'll spend the rest of my life opening the freezer and going, "Aw, no strawberry."

Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Penny: What about the girl behind the counter?
Sheldon: Well, she spends her whole day scooping. One arm's probably bigger than the other.
Penny: Is it possible you might not actually want to meet someone?
Sheldon: You are truly wise.
Penny: Thank you.
Sheldon: I'd say wise beyond your years, but you're getting up there.

Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Sheldon: I need to prepare her now to save her from pain down the road.
Penny: Down the road? Sheldon, she wanted to share a toothbrush holder with you, and now you're at an ice cream parlor trying to pick up women!
Sheldon: Well, anything can sound silly when you put it in that tone.

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