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Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Leonard: What's he doing here?
Sheldon: We're going to work this office situation out like gentlemen. And if that doesn't work, I'm going to poison his tea.

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Sheldon: Fine. In the interest of preserving our friendship...
Barry Kripke: Were not friends.
Sheldon: Well, that's a little hard to hear, but all right.

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Raj: How about you decide this with Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock?
Barry Kripke: What the frig is that?
Sheldon: Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock was created by Internet pioneer Sam Kass as an improvement on the classic game Rock-Paper-Scissors. All hail Sam Kass.

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Sheldon: Ah, the spoils. I see why victors love them.

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Howard: Why don't you just turn up the thermostat?
Sheldon: Aha! Good question. It turns out the thermostat for my new office isn't in my new office. No. It's next door in Professor Davenport's office, who is currently enjoying the hot flashes associated with menopause.

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Leonard: Why is there a hole here?
Sheldon: Why is there a hole in my new office? I've narrowed it down to two possibilities: There was something in the wall that someone outside the wall wanted, or the more disturbing, there was something in the wall that wanted out.

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Raj: Well, at least you finally got a window that opens. That's nice.
Sheldon: Is it? Listen.
Raj: What, you don't like wind chimes?
Sheldon: No, I hate them, but it gets worse. There it is.
Howard: The bird?
Sheldon: Yeah, It's completely out of tune with the wind chimes.
Raj: So?
Sheldon: You don't get it, do you? That's a mockingbird. Mockingbirds can change their song, which means he's out of tune on purpose. He's mocking me.

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Sheldon: The vibration. We are directly underneath the geology lab, and they're running their confounded sieve shakers again. Hey, gravel monkeys, if you need to shake rocks, try jiggling your heads around!

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Leonard: Sheldon, relax.
Sheldon: How can I relax? My nervous system is being stretched out like the strings of a harp and plucked by holes, and birds, and wind, and the low-hanging scrotum of the difficult-to-evict Professor Rothman.
Leonard: If you're not happy, why don't you just let Kripke have the office?
Sheldon: What, and let him win? Do I look crazy to you?

Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Sheldon: We're trying to think down here, you geode-loving feldspar jockeys!

Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction

Howard: Leonard, I may have gotten you a job.
Leonard: I have a job.
Sheldon: Yes, he does. He caters to my every whim.

Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction

Sheldon: Well, now, but do you think that's a good idea? You know Star Trek. Should a guy with no name and a red shirt really go on an expedition?
Raj: Hey, don't discourage him. This is a fantastic opportunity.
Sheldon: No one asked you, Uhura.

Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction

Sheldon: Would you like to hear a classic Sheldon Cooper factoid?
Leonard: What do you think?
Sheldon: Great. I've been doing some reading about vehicular safety. Did you know that the highest number of drowning accidents happen on or around boats?
Leonard: Interesting that you would bring that up when I might go work on a boat.
Sheldon: Well, that's the thing about factoids. They're interesting.

Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction

Leonard: I know what you're doing. You don't want me going on this research trip because you're afraid to be alone.
Sheldon: I'm not afraid to be alone. On land. On the sea, it would be terrifying. Because of all the drowning.

Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction

Leonard: Anyway, you guys really don't need to make a big deal.
Sheldon: Leonard, you're being selfish. We need to give you a proper send-off so we'll have closure when you die at sea and crabs eat your face.
Penny: Sheldon, sweetie, shut up.

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