Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 150 of 188

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Quote from the episode The Sales Call Sublimation

Sheldon: Okay, back to me. I discovered an asteroid, and now I get to name it.
Raj: Wait, what happened to us?
Sheldon: Now, this isn't about us, this is about what's best for the asteroid.

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Sheldon: Oh, hello, everyone. I am happy to report I'm feeling much better.
Leonard: Good for you.
Sheldon: My fever is gone, my sinuses are pressure-free, and my mucus is as clear as a Yosemite waterfall.
Howard: Glad to hear it.
Sheldon: I'll be able to return to work tomorrow.
Raj: Yay.
Sheldon: Well, why isn't everyone happy? Your little ray of sunshine is ready to beam again.

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Penny: You really don't know why?
Sheldon: No. But I knew that his "yay" was sarcastic. Not bad for a guy whose last bowel movement sounded like rain on a roof.

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Raj: Sheldon, stop being a baby and let Emily take a look at you.
Sheldon: She's a dermatologist.
Emily: I went to medical school.
Sheldon: Well, in that case, try removing the irritating patch of brown skin standing next to you.

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Leonard: All right, here you go.
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm dying.
Leonard: You're not dying. It's just the flu.
Sheldon: I asked for chicken noodle. This is chicken and stars. It's killing me.

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Sheldon: Oh, where are we going?
Leonard: Well, Vegas, but-
Sheldon: Ugh, Atlantic City without the taffy? No, thank you.

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Sheldon: Oh, fine. Then I'll just hang out with Wolowitz.
Leonard: He's coming, too.
Sheldon: Well, then Raj and I will-
Leonard: Nope.
Sheldon: Very well. Stuart.
Leonard: Oh, great. Do that.
Sheldon: Ugh, Stuart.

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Sheldon: Leonard, get ready for an apology. And with the added twist of an M. Night Shyamalan movie, I'm going to mean it.
Leonard: Ah, so like every other M. Night Shyamalan movie I've seen, you spoil it in advance.
Sheldon: Hey, if you didn't know Bruce Willis was dead the whole time, that's not on me.

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Sheldon: All you did was offer maternal care and affection, and all you received in return was rude and insensitive behavior.
Penny: Can this wait?
Sheldon: I'm afraid it can't. The trip is tomorrow. And I have more apologies to make.
Penny: Okay, fine, I accept your apology, now get out!
Sheldon: Wonderful. would you mind holding up this shirt while I take a quick-
Penny: Leonard!

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Sheldon: You brought me my comic books when I wasn't feeling well. That was thoughtful.
And I was insensitive. I'm sorry.
Stuart: Thank you, Sheldon. I appreciate that.
Sheldon: And I want you to know that I mean it, you know? This isn't me just wanting to go on the trip to Las Vegas.
Stuart: What trip to Las Vegas?
Sheldon: The one everyone's taking this weekend on the party bus.
Stuart: Of course. I wasn't invited.
Sheldon: That would be my understanding. On a less painful subject, what size T-shirt do you take?

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Leonard: What are you doing?!
Sheldon: My plan was to jump out at the state line, but one of my nose plugs fell into the toilet.

Quote from the episode The Valentino Submergence

Raj: No, Sheldon's right. Emily did say I always talk about my feelings too much.
Sheldon: I suppose that could be a legitimate concern in a relationship. Uh, perhaps even a red flag. And speaking of red flags, check out this sexy number from the former Soviet Union. Hubba, hubba.

Quote from the episode The Pants Alternative

Leonard: We think we can help you with your stage fright.
Sheldon: Oh, I doubt that. I haven't figured out a way, and I'm much smarter than all of you.
Penny: Yes, but you're not smarter than all of us put together.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry, that is what I meant.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Penny: Well, where is he?
Amy: Sheldon?
Leonard: I'll check his room.
Sheldon: Surprise!
Penny: Oh, my God!
Sheldon: Just one example of how birthdays can be terrible. Now, can we please drop this subject and pick a new one? Yeah, I suggest "how thick can a soup get before it becomes a stew?" You know, the answer, it may surprise you.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Amy: Can you please just tell me why?
Sheldon: Fine. As you know, I have a twin sister with whom I obviously share a birthday. Every year we'd have a party. No one I invited would ever come, because they didn't like me.
Amy: I'm sorry.
Sheldon: Oh, that part wasn't so bad. I didn't like them, either. But then I'd inevitably spend the whole day being tortured by my sister's friends.
Penny: Oh, you poor thing.
Sheldon: When I was six, they told me Batman was coming to my party. I waited by the door for hours. Closest thing to Batman I saw was when a robin flew into the window.

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