Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 151 of 176

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Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Patent Attorney: So, I've reviewed your paperwork, and it seems like we've got everything we need to file a patent for your infinite persistence gyroscope.
Sheldon: That's great!
Howard: Excellent.
Leonard: So what happens next?
Patent Attorney: Well, the legal team needs to review existing patents to avoid overlap.
Howard: Oh, I don't think there will be.
Leonard: Yes, we did our own search.
Patent Attorney: That's nice, but I think ours might be a bit more thorough.
Sheldon: (chuckling) Get a load of this guy.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Patent Attorney: Just need you to review and sign this document acknowledging that you understand the university will own 75% of the patent.
Howard: 75%?
Sheldon: That's outrageous. This is our idea based on our research. How can you possibly justify owning a majority share?
Patent Attorney: It's university policy.
Sheldon: Well, I know when I'm beat.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Patent Attorney: And as far as Mr. Wolowitz is concerned, I'm afraid as a federal employee on loan from NASA, your name can be on the patent, but you're not entitled to an ownership share.
Howard: Wait, so this can turn out to be a financial success, and I get nothing?
Patent Attorney: Well, sometimes they give you a plaque.
Sheldon: Well, that's not fair. We should all get plaques.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Leonard: Sorry, but we can't sign this.
Howard: Come on, let's go.
Leonard: Thank you for your time.
Sheldon: You know, couple of questions about the plaque- (Leonard pulls Sheldon out of the room)

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Leonard: Well, what if we go around the university and just get the patent ourselves?
Howard: We can't. It says on their web site, as long as we work there, they have a controlling ownership of anything we come up with.
Sheldon: Great, so they own my idea for a T-shirt that says "Dumb as a Bag of Geologists."

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Leonard: Well, our choices are we do this with the university or we don't do it at all.
Howard: Either way, I get nothing.
Leonard: Or, if we ended up making money from this, Sheldon and I could split our shares with you.
Sheldon: To be clear, Leonard is referring to the gyroscope, not the T-shirt and mugs.
Oh, now they own the mugs!

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Howard: You guys would be cool doing it like that?
Leonard: Of course, we can split any profits three ways.
Sheldon: I'm fine with that.
Howard: Okay, great.
Sheldon: It sounds like a, uh, contract might be in order.
Leonard: Sure, we could write something up.
Sheldon: But which one of us should be the party who-
Howard: You can do it, Sheldon.
Sheldon: (excitedly) So stipulated!
Leonard: Once I found a stash of contracts under his bed. It was weird.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Howard: This contract looks good to me.
Sheldon: I'll say it looks good. It's in my proprietary font, Shelvetica.
Leonard: I want to say something obnoxious, but it is easy on the eyes.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Bernadette: So, you're just gonna sign this without having a lawyer look at it?
Sheldon: Excuse me. I've been drafting contracts since kindergarten. Didn't need a lawyer to get me out of finger painting. Don't need one now.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Sheldon: Hey, Leonard.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: If she doesn't think that we should apply for this patent, she's being patently absurd.
Leonard: Good one.
Sheldon: Okay, you got it. See, I was afraid it was a thinker.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Howard: But, um, we were talking, and I'm a little concerned about the three of us forming a partnership.
Sheldon: Are you suggesting a limited liability corporation? Cause I did not L-L-"see" that coming.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Penny: No, what I'm saying is you could add a clause to the contract that he can't make fun of Howard.
Bernadette: How would you enforce it?
Sheldon: Oh, please. Any contract I sign is enforced by my own personal code of ethics.
Amy: And his obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Sheldon: Yeah, that, too. And scoot over. Part of your shadow's on my spot.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Leonard: Howard, what do you think?
Howard: I'm on board.
Sheldon: I'll add it right now. Oh, baby, it's addendum time!

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Howard: That's very generous, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Oh, I've always valued education over money. And the very fact that you needed a written guarantee of respect made me realize how dismissive I've been of your contributions.
Howard: I appreciate that.
Sheldon: And I just hope that this scholarship can rescue your child from the sub-par education and menial life of an engineer.
Amy: Sheldon!
Sheldon: What? I didn't sign it yet.

Quote from the episode The Solder Excursion Diversion

Amy: Look, I'm sorry for your loss, but I think I have something that might make you feel better. I got you a new computer.
Sheldon: How could you do that?
Amy: Do what?
Sheldon: Choosing a new laptop is an incredibly personal ritual. You have taken away weeks of agonizing thought, tedious research, sleepless nights filled with indecision. Haven't I lost enough today?

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