Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 152 of 188

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Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Bernadette: So, you're just gonna sign this without having a lawyer look at it?
Sheldon: Excuse me. I've been drafting contracts since kindergarten. Didn't need a lawyer to get me out of finger painting. Don't need one now.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Sheldon: Hey, Leonard.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: If she doesn't think that we should apply for this patent, she's being patently absurd.
Leonard: Good one.
Sheldon: Okay, you got it. See, I was afraid it was a thinker.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Howard: But, um, we were talking, and I'm a little concerned about the three of us forming a partnership.
Sheldon: Are you suggesting a limited liability corporation? Cause I did not L-L-"see" that coming.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Penny: No, what I'm saying is you could add a clause to the contract that he can't make fun of Howard.
Bernadette: How would you enforce it?
Sheldon: Oh, please. Any contract I sign is enforced by my own personal code of ethics.
Amy: And his obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Sheldon: Yeah, that, too. And scoot over. Part of your shadow's on my spot.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Leonard: Howard, what do you think?
Howard: I'm on board.
Sheldon: I'll add it right now. Oh, baby, it's addendum time!

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Howard: That's very generous, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Oh, I've always valued education over money. And the very fact that you needed a written guarantee of respect made me realize how dismissive I've been of your contributions.
Howard: I appreciate that.
Sheldon: And I just hope that this scholarship can rescue your child from the sub-par education and menial life of an engineer.
Amy: Sheldon!
Sheldon: What? I didn't sign it yet.

Quote from the episode The Solder Excursion Diversion

Amy: Look, I'm sorry for your loss, but I think I have something that might make you feel better. I got you a new computer.
Sheldon: How could you do that?
Amy: Do what?
Sheldon: Choosing a new laptop is an incredibly personal ritual. You have taken away weeks of agonizing thought, tedious research, sleepless nights filled with indecision. Haven't I lost enough today?

Quote from the episode The Solder Excursion Diversion

Sheldon: Fine. I'm sorry. Thank you for the thoughtful gift. I really do appreciate it. As you know, I had become attached to my old laptop. But I'm sure, in time, that this one will ... Jeepers creepers, that started up fast!

Quote from the episode The Solder Excursion Diversion

Amy: Why do you have a storage unit?
Sheldon: Just wait.
Amy: How long have you had it?
Sheldon: Just wait.
Amy: Do you want me to hold that computer?
Sheldon: Just wait. You know what? Actually, yes, thank you.

Quote from the episode The Solder Excursion Diversion

Sheldon: In here is every clock radio I've ever owned. Calculators, VHS tapes. Yeah. Oh, sporting equipment.
Amy: You have sporting equipment?
Sheldon: Well, oh, it's just a golf ball that my brother threw at my head. You can still feel the dent. It's right next to the hockey puck dent.

Quote from the episode The Solder Excursion Diversion

Amy: So, why do you feel you need to save these things?
Sheldon: I'd like to say it's nostalgia, but every time I think of throwing anything away, my ears start to ring, and I get butterflies in my stomach. And then it feels like the butterflies get eaten by rats, and then the, the rats get eaten by...
Amy: Okay. I get it. I get it.
Sheldon: It ends with dinosaurs. I'm sorry if you think less of me.
Amy: I don't.
Sheldon: Really? 'Cause every time I come in here, I think less of me.
Amy: Why?
Sheldon: Because I'm a fraud. No, I purport to be a man of the mind. I've been such a, a vocal champion of the singularity. But how can I leave my body behind and become one with the Internet when I've never even thrown a toothbrush away?

Quote from the episode The Big Bear Precipitation

Penny: What am I smelling?
Sheldon: Oh, it's car air freshener. I was simulating the smell of the forest.
Penny: That's not what the forest smells like.
Sheldon: Well, how would I know?

Quote from the episode The Big Bear Precipitation

Amy: We could all go for the weekend. It'll be fun.
Sheldon: Excuse me. (Gets up and hands Amy a dictionary) Here, look up fun, get back to me.

Quote from the episode The Big Bear Precipitation

Leonard: You and I could still go and have a nice weekend.
Penny: Sure.
Amy: Come on, Sheldon, let's go with them.
Sheldon: I hardly think so. You be sure and say hello to all the mosquitoes, bees, bears, snakes, possums, poison oak, oh, and last, but not least, teenagers with guitars.

Quote from the episode The Big Bear Precipitation

Amy: So what do we do now?
Leonard: They have some board games.
Sheldon: Eh, most of the Jenga pieces are missing and the Scrabble only has seven tiles, so unless you want to build an unimpressive structure with the word schnerf next to it, move on.

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