Leonard: I did a bad thing.
Sheldon: Does it affect me?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Then suffer in silence.

Sheldon: I'll walk you through it. This game is not called Words with Strangers. No, it's not even called Words with Acquaintances. It's called Words with-
Raj: I'm not finishing your sentence. You pulled the plug on my funk.
Sheldon: Friends! It's Words with Friends. Which Stephen Hawking and I officially are. Now all I need is a bunk bed with a slide, and I'll have everything I've ever wanted since I was six years old.

Howard: Sheldon, I know Stephen Hawking. I worked with him.
Sheldon: And if they ever come out with a game called Words with People You Once Worked With, you'll be off to the races.

Sheldon: Yes. I play the word quiver with a triple letter and a double word score for 72 points. That ought to let the air out of your tires, Hawking.

Sheldon: It is glorious. One of the greatest intellects of our time has agreed to engage with me in a gentlemanly battle of wits. And I'm spanking him so hard his grad students won't be able to sit down.

Amy: Oh, you could turn his act into extract, and it would be for double points.
Sheldon: Amy. Why would you give me a word? Now, if I play extract it would be cheating.
Amy: Sorry.
Sheldon: Although, I could play the completely unrelated and better word extract. Ethical conundrum avoided. Thanks, brain.

Sheldon: Play. Play. Play. Play. Play.
Leonard: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Trying to use a Jedi mind trick to control Stephen Hawking. Play. Play. Ugh! He must be wearing a tinfoil hat or something.

Leonard: Penny started taking a class. She wrote a paper, she didn't want me to read it, I went behind her back and I read it anyway.
Sheldon: Stephen Hawking hates me.
Leonard: I don't know what to do. I mean, the paper's terrible. But if I tell her, she'll know that I read it and she'll get really mad.
Sheldon: I was beating him so bad, he doesn't want to be friends anymore. Why does everyone love me except Stephen Hawking?
Leonard: Is it possible we're having two different conversations?
Sheldon: How would I know? I'm not listening to you.

Leonard: Hang on. Okay, here's what we're gonna do. Chess clock. We each get five minutes to talk about our problems. We'll take turns. Each turn will consist of a statement and a helpful response from the friend. Begin.
Sheldon: I humiliated Stephen Hawking in a game of Words with Friends. He stopped playing, and now we're not friends anymore.
Leonard: He's probably busy. You're worried about nothing. Give it a couple more days. I'm sure he'll play, and you'll see that everything's fine. My turn. I can't let Penny hand in a bad paper, but how do I tell her it's bad without letting her know that I read it?
Sheldon: Hmm. Beats me. Now, I know Hawking's not busy because I can see he's playing other people right now.
Leonard: Maybe since you're so good, he's taking his time to meet the challenge. I want Penny to enjoy school...
Sheldon: Wolowitz told me he's a big baby. But I didn't know that, and I played extract for 82 points. It's all Amy's fault. She told me to play it. I have got to cut her loose.

Leonard: Sheldon, I wasn't done talking. She hands in the paper tomorrow. I know I could help her. And she's my girlfriend. I, I should be allowed to help her. Why aren't I allowed to help her?
Sheldon: Yeah, I hear you, brother.
Leonard: No. You need to give me some advice.
Sheldon: Fine. Women, huh?
Leonard: No, specific to my situation.
Sheldon: Blond women, huh?
Leonard: Empathetic.
Sheldon: It sucks to be you.
Leonard: I quit.

Sheldon: Leonard, come back. Leonard, come back. Leonard, come back.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Oh, of course, it only works on the weak-minded.

Sheldon: I will play the word "at" for two measly points, throwing the game and thus securing my friendship with the smartest man in the world.
Howard: What are you waiting for? Hit send.
Sheldon: I can't. Losing on purpose is intellectually dishonest.
Raj: So don't do it.
Sheldon: Oh, but I want to be Hawking's friend.
Howard: So do it.
Sheldon: Oh, but if I do, I'll be a phony, a sellout, a Hollywood poser.
Raj: Then don't do it.
Sheldon: I won't. This feels right. My mother always said, to thine own self be true.
Howard: Good for you.
Sheldon: 'course she also told me that every animal in the world got on one boat, so what does she know? And send.

Stuart: Hey. Hey, look at you guys!
Amy: I'm Raggedy Ann, and he's Raggedy C-3PO.
Sheldon: It was a compromise. I lost.

Howard: Okay, here it is. Bernadette said you guys are all sick of me talking about my trip to space. Is that true?
Sheldon: Yes.
Raj: No.
Sheldon: We seem to have different approaches here. I was going for helpful honesty. I have no idea what you're doing.
Raj: It's called being nice.
Sheldon: Okay. If you think being nice will get him to shut up, I'll try it.

Amy: I think I'm gonna try green tea mixed with lemon zinger.
Sheldon: Two tea bags in one cup? You're not at a rave.