Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 154 of 176

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Quote from the episode The Convergence Convergence

Leonard: Uh, I would like to propose a toast to my wife and bride-to-be.
Sheldon: See, that's funny because-
Amy: Back to your phone.

Quote from the episode The Isolation Permutation

Sheldon: Ladies, please. These four walls once housed an intellectual salon where the mind received nourishment as well as the stomach. But through no one's fault, Penny, the quality of dinner conversation in this apartment has declined. And again, I'm looking at no one in particular, Penny.
Leonard: Fine. What would you like to talk about, Sheldon?
Howard: "What would you like to talk about, Sheldon?" Why do you hate us?
Sheldon: I've prepared a number of topics that should appeal to both the advanced and novice conversationalists.
Penny: Okay, that time you looked at me.

Quote from the episode The Isolation Permutation

Sheldon: Topic one. Faster-than-light particles at CERN, paradigm-shifting discovery or another Swiss export as full of holes as their cheese? And converse.

Quote from the episode The Isolation Permutation

Howard: Can we get that off the table and change the subject?
Sheldon: Can we? Stand back while I turn this conversation into a conver-sensation.
Leonard: This time, it's your fault.
Sheldon: I have 100 alphabetized topics from "Artichoke, come on, people, it's just a giant thistle" to "ZZZ, the onamona-poetry of sleep".

Quote from the episode The Isolation Permutation

Leonard: If you're worried, we can go over there and see if she's all right.
Sheldon: Okay. You know, I heard in the news a bobcat has been spotted in her neighborhood.
Leonard: I don't think Amy was eaten by a bobcat.
Sheldon: Who thinks Amy was eaten by a bobcat?
Leonard: You do?
Sheldon: Leonard, I was just mentioning an interesting local news item. Now, thanks to you, I'm worried Amy's been eaten by a bobcat.

Quote from the episode The Isolation Permutation

Amy: Sheldon, what are you doing here?
Sheldon: You didn't respond to any of my electronic communications.
Amy: I wanted to be alone.
Sheldon: Would you like to talk about it? And keep in mind that no is a perfectly viable answer.

Quote from the episode The Isolation Permutation

Amy: Sheldon, my world is crumbling around me.
Sheldon: Point of order. As you're in distress, it would be customary for me to offer you a hot beverage. But I'm a guest in your home, so it would be customary for you to offer me a beverage. How do you want to proceed vis-a-vis beverages?

Quote from the episode The Isolation Permutation

Sheldon: Did you know that when Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he proposed answering it with "ahoy"?

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Howard: Too bad. You know the rules of Secret Agent Laser Obstacle Chess. Leonard died again, Sheldon. You're up.
Sheldon: Despite my deep love of chess, lasers and aerosol disinfectant, I must forfeit.
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: Because it's almost eleven o'clock.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: So ... Penny has a don't knock on my door before eleven o'clock or I punch you in the throat rule.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Sheldon: Bailment describes a relationship in common law where a physical possession of personal property, or chattels, is transferred from one person, the bailor, to another person, the bailee.
Penny: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, look, look. I started a business.
Sheldon: Obviously, not a cleaning business.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Penny: Sheldon, don't you get it? If this takes off, I won't have to be a waitress anymore.
Sheldon: But then who will bring me my cheeseburger on Tuesday nights?
Penny: Another waitress.
Sheldon: What's her name?
Penny: I don't know.
Sheldon: And you're going to let her handle my food?
Penny: Nancy. Her name is Nancy.
Sheldon: I think you're just making that up.
Penny: Sheldon, I'm sorry about your hamburger, okay? I just don't want to be a waitress for the rest of my life.
Sheldon: Cheeseburger. I get a cheeseburger.
Penny: Fine, cheeseburger.
Sheldon: Maybe I'd be better off with Nancy.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Sheldon: All right, ten dollars a day times five days a week, times 52 weeks a year is two thousand six hundred dollars.
Penny: That's all?
Sheldon: Before taxes.
Penny: Well, I don't have to pay taxes on this stuff.
Sheldon: I believe the Internal Revenue Service would strongly disagree.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Sheldon: Just to be clear here, you're asking for my assistance.
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: And you understand that will involve me telling you what to do?
Penny: I understand.
Sheldon: And you're not allowed to be sarcastic or snide to me while I'm doing so.
Penny: Okay.
Sheldon: Good. Let's begin with the premise that everything you've done up to this point is wrong.
Penny: Oh, imagine that.
Sheldon: Sarcasm. Good-bye.
Penny: No, sorry. Wait, please come back.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Leonard: Are you thinking about adding a desiccant like calcium sulphate?
Howard: Actually, I'm thinking about this one stripper named Vega. But sure, calcium sulphate could work.
Sheldon: Let's think out of the box for a moment. How about a molecular sieve?
Leonard: Oh!
Penny: I've got a spaghetti strainer in the kitchen.
Sheldon: Wow.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Sheldon: I believe I'm hearing some negativity on the factory floor.
Penny: So?
Sheldon: Penny, the labor force is a living organism that must be carefully nurtured. Any counterproductive grumbling must be skilfully headed off by management. Observe. Hey! Less talk, more work!
Penny: Nicely done.
Sheldon: Thank you. You hear any union talk, you let me know.

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