Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 154 of 262

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Quote from the episode The Locomotion Reverberation

Leonard: Just look at the board.
Sheldon: That's wrong.
Leonard: Oh, no! What should we have done differently?
Sheldon: Well, first of all, you can't use relativistic and non-relativistic vectors in the same equation.
Howard: Told ya. (scoffs) Can you fix it for us?
Sheldon: (sighs) Okay, but this is the last time. (Draws Charlie Brown's face on the squiggle Leonard drew on the board) Nice try, blockheads.

Quote from the episode The Locomotion Reverberation

Leonard: So, what do you say?
Sheldon: Oh, what choice do I have? You need me. (pointing to the engine) I'm like the crankshaft of this team.
Howard: That's a turbo.
Sheldon: Well, whatever it is, it looks heavy. I'm gonna need you two to get it downstairs before Amy comes home.

Quote from the episode The Allowance Evaporation

Sheldon: If you think that's more fun than talking to Zachary Quinto through a stall door, you're crazy.

Quote from the episode The Allowance Evaporation

Sheldon: MSN Search, AltaVista, and Ask Jeeves. You?
Amy: Sorry, I don't have a list of defunct search engines that I miss.

Quote from the episode The Allowance Evaporation

Amy: Sheldon, that was so sweet of you.
Sheldon: Well, I could deduce by his facial expression and body language that he was sad.
Amy: So the part where he got stood up didn't clue you in?
Sheldon: You want me to look at him and listen to him?

Quote from the episode The Allowance Evaporation

Sheldon: This circle contains only me and you. It represents subjects we only share with each other. Details of physical intimacy, bathroom habits. Although, as I'm saying it, I may need to add Dr. Fink in here.

Quote from the episode The Comic-Con Conundrum

Leonard: Maybe you should find someone to help you get your finances under control.
Raj: Like a business manager?
Sheldon: No, absolutely not. You can't afford to hire someone who'll forbid you from spending your money on foolish expenses. That is a foolish expense, and I forbid it.

Quote from the episode The Comic-Con Conundrum

Howard: What if there's someone who just likes controlling other people and stealing joy from their lives?
Sheldon: He sounds like a sociopath.
Leonard: We don't know, his mother never had him tested.
Sheldon: You're talking about me. Very funny. Although I would enjoy drawing up a budget and forcing Raj to adhere to it without an ounce of compassion.

Quote from the episode The Comic-Con Conundrum

Raj: Come on, Sheldon, it's Comic-Con. Just let me have the money for this, and I won't ask for anything else.
Sheldon: You put me in charge of your finances. If you wanted someone weak and spineless you could walk all over, you should have asked Leonard.
Leonard: See? Miserable.

Quote from the episode The Escape Hatch Identification

Sheldon: Speaking of occupants, I'm given to understand Raj will be moving into my old room.
Leonard: Yeah, for a little while.
Sheldon: What about his dog?
Penny: She'll be in her crate; it's not a big deal.
Sheldon: I suppose that's acceptable.
Amy: Well, Sheldon's getting a little better with dogs. He even took a picture with Pluto at Disneyland.
Sheldon: If real dogs gave me buttons, I'd like them, too.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Fluctuation

Amy: You know, we've never collaborated professionally before. Are you worried it might affect our relationship?
Sheldon: That is a valid point. Perhaps we should establish some ground rules.
Amy: Well, that would make me feel better.
Sheldon: All right, let's start right now. Uh, rule number one, no using sexuality to get your way.
Amy: That's a ridiculous rule.
Sheldon: Is it? (Sheldon flaunts his posterior as he walks away)

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Fluctuation

Sheldon: Number two: when we publish, my name goes first. Oh, subsequently, if we win any awards, I speak first. I don't want to be talking when the orchestra plays us off.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Fluctuation

Amy: So, shall we get to work?
Sheldon: Biology and physics coming together. This is like the peanut butter cup of the mind. Ooh, I know what I want my treat to be.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Fluctuation

Sheldon: Can you read them back?
Amy: "Revised ground rule number one: We are on the same team, but it is a competition."
Sheldon: Excellent. Excellent. And on a related point, you're going down, punk.

Quote from the episode The Collaboration Fluctuation

Amy: "Number three: Fair topics for insult include educational pedigree, scientific field, intellectual prowess, and mamas."
Sheldon: Yeah, that list is strong. Like your mother's urge to be promiscuous with sailors.

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