Amy: So, shall we get to work?
Sheldon: Biology and physics coming together. This is like the peanut butter cup of the mind. Ooh, I know what I want my treat to be.

Sheldon: Can you read them back?
Amy: "Revised ground rule number one: We are on the same team, but it is a competition."
Sheldon: Excellent. Excellent. And on a related point, you're going down, punk.

Amy: "Number three: Fair topics for insult include educational pedigree, scientific field, intellectual prowess, and mamas."
Sheldon: Yeah, that list is strong. Like your mother's urge to be promiscuous with sailors.

Leonard: I'm sorry, what is this plan you have?
Sheldon: Well, I'm not needed at both places at the same time. And I can also free up extra hours with simple tricks, such as using a minimal amount of words to convey my point.
Leonard: When does that start?
Sheldon: Soon. See, I could've said "in the near future," but I didn't say "in the near future," 'cause "in the near future" is three more words than "soon." "In" one, "the" two, "near" three, "future" four. See "in the near future" is four, "soon" is just one, four is more than one; saving time already.

Sheldon: Ah, I'm back, you got me for eight minutes.
Amy: Sheldon, this is silly. You can't expect us to do quality work with you popping in and out like this.
Sheldon: The coefficient isn't lambda, it's lambda sub one. And over here, you should consider the possibility that the brain itself is in two different quantum states. And lastly, do you have any little soup crackers?

Leonard: We came home from work and we found you.
Sheldon: Home from work? What time is it?
Penny: It's 9 o'clock.
Sheldon: 9?! What happened to 8 and 7 and all the other o'clocks?

Sheldon: That's it. I'm in breach of my security clearance. I'm going to prison. And you know what happens to people like me in prison. I'll be forced to be some large man's tutor.

Bartender: You gonna buy another round for the house?
Sheldon: Uh, no, thank you. (To Leonard) We now know why MasterCard sent me a fraud alert.

Leonard: Ask him.
Sheldon: Um, yes. Howdy, partner. Do you happen to recollect if I left a notebook in these here parts?
Raj: These here parts?
Sheldon: It's called fitting in. By the way, good luck.

Leonard: So, Sheldon says you have a new girlfriend.
Sheldon: Yeah, which he rudely announced on my flag show. People were so upset about it no one else called in the rest of the night.

Leonard: Hey, we're all having dinner tonight. Why don't the two of you join us?
Sheldon: Uh, wa-- Hold on. We don't know anything about this woman.
Bert: What do you want to know?
Sheldon: Is she a geologist?
Bert: No.
Sheldon: Oh, great. See you at 7:00.

Leonard: So, Rebecca, how did you become a personal trainer?
Rebecca: I came to Los Angeles to be an actress, and things didn't really work out.
Sheldon: I'd say she's copying you again, but I'm getting tired of sitting in the hall.

Sheldon: Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
Amy: And I'm Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler.
Sheldon: Based on the glowing reception of our recent Behind the Flags retrospective, we thought you might like to see how it all came together.
Amy: So welcome to tonight's episode,
Both: Fun with Flags - Behind the "Behind the Flags: A Retrospective" Retrospective.

Raj: If you really want to challenge yourself, you could learn to speak Hindi.
Sheldon: Jab mein aat saal ka tha Maine seekha tha.
Raj: Could you say that in English? I actually, I never learned Hindi.

Howard: All right, this is everything. What do you want to learn?
Sheldon: It really doesn't matter, as long as it's challenging.
Howard: Okay, well, how about, oh, I teach you some close-up magic.
Sheldon: Howard, I'm trying to make myself uncomfortable, not everyone else.