Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 3 of 201

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Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity

Sheldon: I'd like to go over some proposed changes to the roommate agreement, specifically to address Penny's annoying personal habits.
Penny: Oh my God! What personal habits?
Sheldon: I have a list. FYI overuse of the phrase "Oh my God" is number 12.

Quote from the episode The Opening Night Excitation

Sheldon: Well, this is different. Candles and music.
Amy: Do you like it?
Sheldon: It's kind of spooky.
Amy: I can change it back.
Sheldon: No, it's your birthday. As long as no one jumps out in a hockey mask, I'll be fine.

Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm

Sheldon: I wouldn't tell you the secret. Sssh!
Leonard: What secret? Tell me the secret.
Sheldon: Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it, but we can't tell dad.
Leonard: Not that secret, the other secret.
Sheldon: I'm Batman! Ssssh!

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Zack: You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel. Turns out if you kill a starfish it'll just come back to life.
Sheldon: Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts? Because you might have been watching Nickelodeon.

Quote from the episode The Pants Alternative

Penny: So what do you say Sheldon, are we your X-men?
Sheldon: No, the X-men were named for the X in Charles Xavier. Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my C-men.

Quote from the episode The Opening Night Excitation

Sheldon: Well, I enjoyed that more than I thought I would.
Amy: Me too!
Sheldon: I look forward to your next birthday when we do it again!
Amy: That works for me.

Quote from the episode The Friendship Contraction

Sheldon: I would have been here sooner but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.

Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Penny: Sheldon, we know this is a sensitive subject, and Leonard's not going to move out until you're ready.
Sheldon: What if you did it gradually?
Leonard: All right, how about we start with two nights a week I live with Penny?
Sheldon: How about one night and I let you whistle?
Leonard: Okay.
Sheldon: When I'm not home.

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Sheldon: Oh gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Leonard: What were you doing at Penny's?
Sheldon: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of 'friends with benefits.'

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Sheldon: I am not crazy, my mother had me tested.

Quote from the episode The Helium Insufficiency

Leonard: What are we going to do?
Sheldon: Perform the experiment immediately.
Leonard: I'd love to, but we need liquid helium and our shipment's on back order for a month.
Sheldon: A month? What? Are you kidding me? That would have been a good time for you to soften the blow.
Leonard: That shirt brings out the blue in your eyes.
Sheldon: Thank you. Aren't you sweet.

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Sheldon: Good. Then I'll be leaving now.
Emily: Oh, it's okay, Sheldon. Come with us.
Sheldon: Oh, that's very kind of you. But I'm sure you'll all have a better time without me. Let's go, Stuart.
Stuart: But I want to stay.
Sheldon: Stuart, now!

Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Amy: Listen, you and I are gonna be sharing a bed. You know, this is uncharted territory for both of us. How are you feeling about that?
Sheldon: Oh, excited, concerned, a little scared. All the same emotions I feel in line at Space Mountain.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: Do you want to hear an interesting thing about stairs?
Leonard: Not really!
Sheldon: If the height of a step is off by as little as two millimeters, most people will trip.
Leonard: I don't care. 2 millime--? That doesn't seem right.
Sheldon: It's true. I did a series of experiments when I was 12. My father broke his clavicle.
Leonard: Is that why they sent you to boarding school?
Sheldon: No. That was the result of my work with lasers.

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